"Ghetto American Idol/Street Disciple"

~~* Happy Valentine's Day ~~*

2012-02-14T17:40:00.000-08:00

My Favorite Song

So I am sure that rather your reading this today (02/14/2012) or your skipping back through my catalog, hopefully you realize that today's Valentine's Day. I normally don't celebrate Holidays but I just had to share this song with the whole world. Erykah Badu is one of My Top 3 Favorite Artist (my top female artist hands down, guaranteed).

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T17:36:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlbBdXsTC8

~+~ Not Just Another Doctor Visit ~+~

2012-02-09T18:19:00.000-08:00

This morning I had a doctor's appointment and got wonderful news. I found out that my past 3 month average blood sugar reading was tremendously lower. He also informed me that my blood pressure and renal failure (kidneys) were doing a significant amount better. This blew my socks completely off.

It is amazing to receive such great news after the last several visits I have had with the doctor since July 1st (see post: "Morality in the Making"). Today, every conversation my doctor had with me was began with a magnificent smile and met with even more marvel and celebration on my part.

While speaking with the doctor, I instantly thought of everyday over the last 3 to 6 months that I have held back and pushed forward with my bland diet. Everyday I decided to respect that diet, get off my fat behind and workout. Not just all the times I had to pass on all my favorite snack and sugary goodies (I really miss the ice cream, chocolate sandwich cookies and cupcakes), but the menu really sucks when you have to cut out all the carbs, sodium, potassium, starch and sugar. Now I have not been perfect, I love eating but I had to show restraint.

Interesting enough, many would ask me about my food choices. I mostly still ate in public like there was nothing wrong. Seriously, could anyone imagine me only eating boiled, skinless, boneless, under-seasoned chicken breast every single day. The changes I made were drastic but they were not always consistent or constant. I have just been determined to make my diet better. A few less double cheeseburgers or grande nachos and more grill chicken salads & flat bread veggie wraps.

My journey of better health and a longer life has in no way ended. Although, it is awesome to know that my dedication to making my situation better has seen positive signs. I can not do it all in one day but with the help of my great spirit to succeed... I Will Stay Determined To Make My Life Different!

I Love You All & Thanks for Reading

My Family

Eco-Mania Wrapped in the Pathology of Obsession

2012-01-29T10:01:00.000-08:00

I have been called a navel-gazing, self-absorbed, arrogant intellectual elitist. I have also been referred to as a self-involved egomaniac and a self-preoccupied, pathological cult leader determined to always prove I'm right. Some have said I am a socialist with a self-centered capitalist agenda and others like to say I am a narcissist trapped in a fat body suit. To all of these sweeping indictments I can only respond with the proclamation of; "Yes, I Am!!!"

I have lived an exciting and event-filled life which has shown me a great many things. I've experienced lessons which have been immediately imperative and others that have taken 10/20 years to reveal their ultimate greatness. I've had teachers, gurus, leaders, preachers and peers that have played influential roles in shaping the man you see today. I've also conceived and manifested a million original thoughts (some sparked by what I have seen or heard and others which appear to be purely self motivated from situations which are unique to only me).

I have never taken an IQ test, however I know that my ability to create poetic concepts and my advanced problem solving skills make me more than a simple Philistine.

I am a man that loves people and I stay dedicated to helping those who cannot help themselves. I have a huge bleeding heart for today's young people. I constantly find myself contemplating how the youth of today are journeying in a first-class seat aboard a societal ship of dysfunction being capsized by a super storm of hedonism known as the Internet and televisions with over 400 channels.

I think of what we have seen when we were children. We had constant inter-action with neighborhood peers, parents teachers and coaches. There was constant team activities and recreation where we learned how to "get-a-long" and get the job done as a group.

I became an adult and continued to grow in the attributes of community. I see many peers from my childhood or just the same age as myself who have seemed to abandon these same characteristic properties. We as a society have become so self-preoccupied with constant meta-physical orgasmic fulfillment that our children only know this to be the first and foremost goal of life.

Ponder this hypothetical for a moment...

If your on body there was a small button which produced a quick & immediate, 10 second, organically euphoric intoxication, a total mental state of ecstasy, elation, exhilaration, rapture and rhapsody, how often would you push it? Seriously, imagine a small button located on your forward-outer thigh. It could be perfectly placed at arms length and so you could secretly manipulate it while simply having your hands in tyour pockets. No one would know, there would be no revealing or identifying expressions in your body language or face. You could have a 10 second Orgasm and No One would be the wiser. How often would you push it?

Now imagine your children who completely lack discipline and how many times in a day do you think they would be on top of this button. How many times a hour do you think they would push this button to the point of needing a new button or hard wire replacement? If you don't think it would be a dramatic incline from how an adult might choose to abuse this button, then think about this for a moment. Drug use in intermediate schools are higher today than 20 years ago [1]. Single parent homes and pregnancy outside of marriage rates rise everyday [2] & [3]. America's education levels are drastically falling every year [4]. We are a country and society that are Morally, Artistically and Mentally Bankrupt. Now if it could be made easier for our children to disconnect momentarily from reality, how often do you think they would take advantage of it?

The aforementioned can only be explained as; Hedonism: *the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life... also described as a school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good.

Today our youth have role-models that are gaining immense capital from teaching all the wrong values (i.e., The Kardashians, Lil Wayne, Tosh 2.0, etc...). The worst part is that even if it is our very own children in our homes are not partaking in these forms on mind controlled entertainment, their friends, peers and schoolmates are. We must stay vigilant in finding ways to combat the ills and balance the scales that mass media inflicts hourly. I am not saying that we have to ban the Internet or satellite television but find ways of rewarding today's youth for picking up a book other than Twilight or Us Magazine.

~+~ The Poor/Rich Man Experience ~+~

2012-01-26T12:40:00.000-08:00

Today I was surfing Facebook and came across a friend's status which pulled at my heart strings. It was a very ironic situation because at the same time I was thinking how I need to write a blog on Philanthropy which could be contributed to by the voice of another but was not sure how to go about this. Of Course like lighting in a bottle I was struck and now here I am.

This was my Friend, Former Roommate, Previous Musical Artist Collaborator & Godly Brother Mike Butta's Experience:

"Got out the gym and was walking into fresh and easy to buy some fruit .....a young lady stopped me and seemed like she was going to ask for money so I was about to walk a lil faster and pay her no attention until I saw her kids and she asked me can I help feed her kids.......so I got them some pizza....but with saying that people think they have it rough and shit .....naw its not rough until your begging someone to feed your kids player."

I would like to personally thank Mike Butta for sharing such a heart warming story with us. So many times I open Facebook & Twitter to only see hundreds of post about sports, reality shows and the "who shot john" rumors that have zero significance in the growth of are future and the futures of our children.

Mike Butta...

that was a great thing you have done today, especially in this economy where most of us can use a little help.

"Conversation with Mystery Lady, Etta James"

2012-01-22T08:19:00.000-08:00

In the summer of 1999, I was listening to a gorgeous, sultry & husky rhythm & blues voice while cleaning my pool hall in Upland, CA. I started this day out alone but after an hour or so, I was joined by a few employees and pool hall regulars, all under the age of 21. One in particular, a 18 year old employee, approached me and asked, "Who was this we were listening to?"Now this is were everything takes a twist from the norm because before I could otter an answer an 5 foot 9 inch, 16 year old blonde responded, "Mystery Lady: Songs of Billie Holiday" by Etta James. Needless to say my mouth dropped, I was totally stunned that a woman so young could so quickly show her familiarity with such a great (but 8 year old) album.

I realized that this conversation must go further and I have to explore the depths of this young lady's blues history. I would ask a questions and she would respond with the same answer, "I Love Etta James Voice." It didn't matter what I asked or who I was talking about, she some how related her answer and spun it back into the direction of Etta James.

After an hour of conversation which started with me looking at a young, hard rock, hip-hop, skateboarding, Daddy's Lil Southern Cali Girl, left me staring into the eyes of what not just I will described as a cool young woman but I also realized how much one artist can change the impression you have in every person. I do not remember the young lady's name but I can not think of Etta James without thinking of my friend and blues peer for life.

Etta James, At Last, You Will Be Greatly Missed...

"I want to be loved for who I am, not what I can provide"

2012-01-22T08:03:00.000-08:00

“I want a woman who wants me, not one who needs me. I want her to love me for me. I can tell [when] a woman is just interested in the externals, which in my book are the equivalent of being in love for money, appearances, or out of desperation. I’ve dated women who were more into those three [things] than into [who I am as a person]. I don’t want to be looked at like I’m a bank, a daddy on demand, or a means to an end of any kind.” The takeaway lesson here is that men are looking for an authentic connection and really notice its absence.

“I’d rather have a real woman who is into me than some idealized version… who wants me to be Ken to her Barbie.”

More Holiday Generosity

2011-12-27T11:34:00.001-08:00

I would like to personally thank all those who gave whatever they could afford to those less fortunate this holiday season. Rather your girt was money, a small unwrapped toy/present, and especially those who gave their time. If you feel that you like you might have missed your opportunity or maybe you just forgot, I would like to remind you that the season is not over and many can use your help right now.

There are countless teen children in our foster system did did not receive a gift this year. Many only desire simple things such as brushes, hair ties, under garments, deodorant, body sprays and lotions.

I am sure if these items found there way to your local church (of any denomination) or local non-profit group home, that our precious teens would not hold it against you that they came a little late. I know a few of you got target & Walmart Gift Cards. Share $9

Lets Give Together

Brothers & Sisters

Holiday Food Extravaganza!!!

2011-12-27T10:46:00.000-08:00

OK...
Now it is time to tell the story of why I Love the Holidays. I think anyone that knows Salaam (me) would know that I am very big on Family. My motto is an oldie but goody, "Eat, Drink & Be Merry".

This years menu is not yet complete. I have enjoyed many wonderful meals with many wonderful people. Although, there are a couple I have yet to receive, so Z's Savory Cuisine is going on blast.

Desires:

Gumbo

Jambalaya

Prime Rib

These are 3 Holiday Classics I can not live without, so expect a call from me...

Z's Savory Cuisine.

Z's Savory Cuisine is my Favorite Full Service Catering located in Glorious & Gorgeous, Sunny Southern California.

click here for more details about Z's Savory Cuisine

~~~ Where Did You Shop Today? ~~~

2011-12-24T15:36:00.000-08:00

It is Saturday December 24th - Christmas Eve. I had to pick up a couple of items from the grocery store. Of course, all I could think of was how chaotic this mission would prove to be. To my surprise, things turns out a little different than you might imagine.

My mother told me that there was a sale on eggs and cheese (2 of the 3 items on my necessity list) at a store that was tad bit further than my usually one. The store was Von's. I do not like Von's at all but to be honest, fortunately it turned out to be a great trip. I noticed something about Von's customers. They are Pretentious beyond all reproach. This very sad notion actually played to my favor. The Von's Club Card carrying members do not like holidays. They were not shopping for in town guest. They were not planning for pie preparation or slow cooking a roast. They were buying expensive and beautiful bottle of wine, champagne and Martinelli's Apple Cider.

It was amazing but I realized something, I Do Not Like Von's People. I've dated a few women recently that I rather liked but we argued constantly over their shopping at Von's. I think Von's grocery store is a waste of money. I do appreciate the customer service but not to the point of paying 25/30% more for the same exact groceries I can pick-up at Stater Bro's.

"...I Do Not Like Von's People... I do appreciate the customer service but not to the point of paying 25/30% more for the same exact groceries I can pick-up at Stater Bro's..."

What I realized from today's visit is that for whatever reason I may have discontinued these recent relationships with Von's shoppers, I think truly they were pretentious or self-serving. Our fundamental differences seemed more evident and apparent once I was standing in the checkout line. I was able to witness the the items that were waiting to be purchased by those before and behind me in line. No one was planning on preparing a dinner. I was surrounded by people that do not like other people. I was realizing that someone who felt comfortable in this store on the regular basis was not going to be the person I could ever have a serious and meaning relationship with.

I apologize if I have offended you with this post but actually I am in No Way Sorry for It.

Try shopping 2 or 3 times a month at an less expensive grocery store and donating that extra money to a family less fortunate...

Like Mine (lol).

Christmas Generosity 4 All - Toys 4 Tots

2011-12-23T08:54:00.000-08:00

Good Day All...I will get right to the point.

Remember the Teenagers when you are giving. There are hundreds of thousands of homeless and abandon teenagers in the system throughout every part of America. Like a small child many of these 13 to 16 year old just wish for something to open on the 25th/Christmas Day. The biggest difference between our teens and our younger less fortunate society members are that they do not really want toys but they would love a simple hair brush.

When you are a teenager and you're living in a group home, the smallest possessions mean so much to you. Hair brushes, underwear, deodorant, socks, barrettes, a beanie or hat, scarf, a backpack, tote bag, a sweater, coat or jacket will bring great joy to our young brothers and sisters. There are so many needs and so few people that remember them when this time rolls around.

They Need Us People...Lets Step it Up

~ let ballads free ~

2011-12-21T16:16:00.000-08:00

I've never had the voice of Stevie Wonder, John Legend or Bob Marley

but when I am with U...

I wanna Belt out love ballads of adoration loud like no one listening...
picture me singing with the strength of the Brooklyn Boys Tabernacle Choir
trying to get the whole world to hear me
you bring out of me...the best that I got
My every thought is seductively soaked with visions of u...

I day dream of U....& I...alive...side by side
eyes wide open inherently seeking comfort & growth in u
U are shinning brilliantly, bright & beautiful beyond any & all star burst or constellation
I'm constantly impatiently awaiting the next time I'm the presence of ur imperfect but precious humble angelic essence...

with my arms extended & my big black bald head spinning in every direction
I am belting out love ballads loud like no one is listening
tearfully singing songs to Adore God's Greatest Creation
I'm Blessed when I'm with U...

I've never had the voice of Stevie Wonder, John Legend or Bob Marley
but I still can't help to let ballads free just for the hope that maybe one day you will hear me...

* "Why Am I Arguing?" *

2011-12-19T11:43:00.001-08:00

Over the last 10 years all my love ones have been bringing it to my attention and making it clearly understood that I frequently "Argue just to Argue." It has been difficult to take this criticism but I have learned a great deal from hearing it, accepting it and reflecting on it.

What I have learned from my argumentative addiction and predisposition for a desire to argue, is that I refrain from "closing" my mind. I refrain from qualifying anything as right or wrong. My goal in any argument is to get my opposition to also think about the other side of the declared decision. I challenge those around me to seek creative outcomes and solutions to every problem.

The greatest part about having such a challenging mentality is that i also challenge myself to always be open. Every choice and action we determine ourselves too, has a positive outcome and a negative outcome for someone involved. We must train and retrain ourselves to see every opportunity and every negative possibility to our decisions.

When we learn to argue all, we realize the effects we have on the universe and how we exist in it. We should realize a journey of higher consciousness and embrace it. Expand your awareness though meditation, contemplation, prayer and self argument.

Now i would hope that we all can understand that post reflection and negative criticism are not the same. We must see where we have made mistake in order not to repeat them. There is always room for improvement but this does not mean everything we do is wrong. Conflicts arise as a result of not understanding that there are as many points of view as there are people. So be aware that challenges arise to make us aware of our inner purpose. When is the last time you really wrestled with your reality? Next time you have this conflict with yourself, argue love into your battle and you will find peace.

"Realize That There Is No Right or Wrong.
There Just Is..."

"I am a Person Who is Hurting; Out to Hurt Other People"

2011-12-12T10:16:00.000-08:00

Good Day Readers, Followers & my 1st timers. Today's topic is something that I always seem to have a challenge with writing about because it is very close to me. I decided to finally make an attempt to actually post something because I woke-up thinking about my future life direction that I make decisions on at every moment. You see, I choose to Love people that are Hurt and some how it always ends up causing a trail of dysfunctional relationships.

It is my supreme theory that "Hurting People: Hurt People."

Everyday I think to myself how can I help someone in need. I look for opportunities to be a better Christian, better Humanitarian & a better Person (period). A few years ago I found myself surrounded by arrogant and self-serving, egotist. Empty relationships all of a superficial nature that gave me a great chemical imbalance of high joys and low pains. Today I noticed that I am now surrounded by mostly Hurting People looking for someone to love them but having an inability to love themselves. I am in now way saying that everyone who exist in my personal circles are hurting but there is a large majority of those who are. Many of them do not have any clue to why or that they are even suffering in any way. I am also one of these individual who suffers from deep seeded, unforgettable & unforgivable pains and a destructive mentally.

I came of age in a time when hip-hop male sexual grander & violence was beginning to show its irreversible effects on young urban pre-teens and teen. I lived in a household complete with my mother, father, 4 older brothers and 1 older sister (all separated at least 6 years in age from me). This was very formative to the person I became in my adult life.

My household was a sports center combat zone, highly competitive. Football, basketball, volleyball, track, baseball and of course pretty of music was our daily themes. Music, church and football were the corner stones of extracurricular activities in my home. I walked in the foot steps of social/athletic giants.

Now I loved my upbringing, I still do appreciate it tremendously, it created a great, loving man and I would not change it for a million dollars. although, it has served for a dysfunctional and immoral foundation to why I am the person that I am today. When you have such a large exhibition of testosterone in your home environment, one tends to believe that this is the only way to live or the only correct way to conduct yourself in society. I believed that people would only love me if I was the biggest and baddest stud in the circle. I desired men to admire me and women to love me because I am the "Stud All-Star."

Today, I rely on my Intellectual Prowess and Spiritual Foundation to be the shining examples of my Greatness.
I see myself as a better person of course for being able to make a fundamental path change to a more positive thought process like I have completed but I also realize that I have not arrived at my final destination. I also must realize that everything is not a competition and that I do not have to be the best person in the world but be the best person that I can be for me.

The question is now... "Who Am I?"

I am still choosing to be apart of the Hurting People that are continuous Hurting People? Do I have the ability to see whom I may hurt and change that direction of that relationship before I cause another person pain? What is it that I can do to help myself see those destructive patterns before it is too late?

Honestly, I am not sure what all you're going to take away from these twenty or so sentences that I scribbled today but I hope that at least one thing is too look inside of yourself and try to identify your hurt/pain. Then create an avenue that leads you dealing with it and overcoming it. We all deserve better and we should all always try for it.

"I must enjoy the Journey just as much as the Destination"

" @BdotOhYesss "

2011-12-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

Youtube Home of BdotOhYesss

click above to search all videos/music

Sickest Freestyle Ever!!!

2011-12-08T11:11:00.000-08:00

@BdotOhYesss

Sickest Freestyle Ever!!!

Other Youtube Classics

A Few Things I have Found Online Lately that are Hilarious

2011-11-30T12:02:00.000-08:00

My Motto
LoL

This Is Real
It Is All Worth It!!!

The Motto to Understanding Salaam

My Fav Quote frm Jr. High

Just Thought this was Gorgeous

"Can I Live"

2011-11-28T23:48:00.000-08:00

"Its Not Hard for Me, I Live In God & He Lives in
Me. God is Love & He needs Me to be Love so I can Live."

"Ur Torah Taught Me!!!"

2011-11-28T10:50:00.000-08:00

Religon...Un-Real Reality
my spirituality move me constantly
...360 degrees

my soul speaks beyond belief
I am born the sun of knowledge
traveled with Jesus while he taught from the Torah

so why ask me why...
I seek the same...with apostles I speak the same

My Confidence is My Game!!!

"Love 4 Sale" ... 2006 Verse

2011-11-15T16:52:00.000-08:00

simple thoughts of you bring forth the biggest grins, smiles and cheers

it is like i have no self-control while my mind steers all thoughts in your direction

minute by minute

hour by hour

day after day

your heaven, but only a mile away

and i am running to be in your presence

traveling at the speed of sound... the speed of light... the speed of love...

crushing & busting the the concrete into crumbs beneath my feet

for you...complete me like my own arms and legs

without you, i am No Less of a Man but i am always feeling better knowing that you are there

that you are alive and useful to me in my life

important like oxygen and when i think of not having you i can't breathe

never wanting leave your side

never being ever to erase you from my mind

my soul screams out for your touch... the way you smile shines on my rainy days... and your eyes brightens the darkest rooms

i am consumed in your warmth and beauty, truly seduced by just thoughts of you...

DAMN... I wish Love Was For Sale...

i'd never buy another pair of pants or shoes

my closet and dresser... car trunk and freezer would be full of nothing more than old receipts for all my "Love" purchases

all purposes i have for waking in the morning would change...

spare change would build towards goals while i walk cold dark alleys stung-out looking to spend every dime, nickel and penny on your "Love"

"I Mean"

2011-11-15T16:39:00.000-08:00

i am a pimp playa

i mean... i am not anymore

i mean i am a night stalker, talkin slick with heavy chap stick covered lips, licking ur soul and holding ur emotions captivated with visionary energy, and an access granted by God...

mama i mean u no harm...

i mean... i wanna meet ur leader, the head of ur household, the 1 that showed u how to be the Queen, who's gained my undivided devotion & undivided appreciation...

i mean... my attention served like subpoenas, appearance presented b4 his magistrate, while i pray for a long-term sentence of spending my life trapped in ur world...

i mean... u r the definition of everything i have searched high and low for, became a man for, adore all things that u are... unique

i mean... or should i say...

today feels like the rebirth of Church, a new and exciting Preacher whispering words of encouragement tickling my my earlobe... rejuvenating my soul and awakening my mind to to the next level of consciousness

i mean understand my levels of expression, 1st lesson, i am not running game, I Am Game!!!

i mean i am what Magic Johnson and Larry bird is to basketball and not at all do i plan on walking away...

i am just rising to the next level with U

i mean... or let me say... everything i tell you is Truth and U are everything I ever wanted and will ever need...

I Mean in Us I do Believe!!!

Perfect Pair

2011-11-15T16:19:00.000-08:00

forgive me when i stare

but

sometimes I can't help myself

initial witness

hypnotic gaze

dazed by your magnificence & marvelous flesh

I mean the brilliance of your breast

beautiful substainers of life

Christ-like

Pisces 2 fish, the perfect pair

natural thirst cure from the earth

pacifier for a prince's pleasure

we submit prone to simply suckle @ your gifts

Gorgeous!!!

forgive me when i stare

mind slips and imagines bare skin

abused & bruised in purple blossoms resembles flowers from a corsage carelessly pinned in a savage haste

male chauvinist dates force estrogen taste desire full circle fulfillment

forgive me when i stare in adoration

but I do promise patience

and a vow to

never mis-use you

You Are An Idiot!!!

2011-11-01T15:53:00.000-07:00

Apparently it is possible to work 40+ hours a week and still live below the poverty line. It also appears to be a great idea to tell your children that they are the best in the world, then medicate the hell out of them instead of actually working with them as their parent. Being a street whore and/or pimp is greater than being an A+ student. Finally what has to be the most ridiculous, is that more Americans receive their social/political information, opinions and understandings from hot topic debate, news shows.

Everyday I tune into CNN, Fox News (the worse) & a host of others to see shows where a group of talking head, individuals that get along very well, will yell, scream & argue with one another like it is a death match of enemies. The truly unfortunate part is that most highly opinionated people I speak with on the regular basis are not receiving their information directly from these shows but rather from another person who has spoken with another person. I thought opinions were like assholes and that everyone has one. I am now realizing that many people share the same ignorant regurgitated idealism because one person conceived the thought and impregnated every other idiots mind with it.

Now we all share thoughts in one way or another. You have sciences such as mathematics, physics and anatomy which are universal throughout the world. You have religion and psychology which a million books have been written about both and seem to be two of the most popular degree bases for institutions of higher learning. Opinions are personal but unfortunately everyone is sharing the same brain when it comes to forming their opinions.

I have an example I would like to share. There was a time when white Americans believed that Native and Black Americans were genetically inferior. We were labeled as savages and cannibals. It was not just a thought but absurd opinions that were spread as fact. Native Americans and Blacks suffered through great injustice because of what a certain few thought. Today we now have a better understanding. People have grown and now understand that ethnic make up does not determine your mental or physical capability. Unfortunately, we have found new reasons to all share the same opinions.

Figure out your own path people. Learn from others but understand that Politics and Religion are multi Hundred-Trillion dollar industries. Every minute of everyday there is a Genius Con Man attempting to Hi-jack your opinion, Conservative and Liberal alike.

"Distractions... Detours... & Drama!!!"

2011-10-30T18:31:00.000-07:00

What are the distractions in your life?

Where are the detours taking you?

Who brings the drama to your world?

& My final question...
Is why do you allow these situations to knock you off your path?

Today I was examining what is it that causes me not to succeed and I found that it was All Me. I am the biggest Distraction, my mind wondering poses the worse and longest detours from my path to success and I am responsible for all the Drama I face monthly, weekly & daily.

I was told earlier this week that I over-analyze things. I of course disagree but this statement is not entirely incorrect. My problem is that I over-analyze the wrong things. I spend entirely to much time worried about things that do not matter to the success of my life. Whether I am allowing my mind to journey off and dream of sports and fantasy teams or fashion and music, I realize that these things are not the best ways for me to spend my time. Even social media plays a huge part in the distractions' detours and dramas in my path.

Today I will spend less time worried about entertainment and more time concentrating on lifting my brothers and sisters consciousness and awareness. I will speak Life into existence and hold my tongue when Death tickles the tip of it.

I do not want anyone to get me wrong. I am an entertainer and I love to play. I will always smile and I will always have something on my Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, colorful mind. My goal is to remain more focus and live out the reason for my existence.

We should all find more time to dismiss the distractions, ignore the detours and cancel our subscriptions for negative drama.

Peace

"How Patriarchy Damages Women and Girls"

2011-10-30T16:40:00.000-07:00

I would like to thank Karlie Hustle for her contribution to humanity. I appreciate anytime I can find such an astounding, mouth dropping essay posted on Facebook and obviously had to re-post here in my blog. I hope it touches you and provokes thought and understanding the same way it did for me today. Thanks Karlie Hustle

"How Patriarchy Damages Women and Girls"

by Karlie Hustle

What is patriarchy?

Patriarchy is the social system which places men as authority figures over women and children. The notion that "the man is the head of the house" sets up a hierarchy whereby one member of a family is considered superior to the others.

Institutionalized entitlement on behalf of men combined with fear on behalf of women is what sets the patriarchy ship to sail. Unfortunately, without equality, no household (and no nation, for that matter) can flourish in a healthy manner.

The United States is a country systematically run by way of patriarchal norms. Little girls are socialized from infancy that being married and having babies is what "good women" do. "Find yourself a man" is the task we are given almost immediately. The construct that we are nothing without a man is so ingrained into our psychology that we will often compromise ourselves and the lives of our children just to hang on to one.

I walk down these Brooklyn streets and see female toddlers, barely able to walk themselves, pushing dolls in strollers. We are sending these children the wrong message. At three years old, isn't it a bit perverse to insinuate that baby girls have nothing other to prepare for than eventual motherhood?

Naively, we all seem so boggled as to why teen pregnancy is such an issue. Aside from the lack of education on how to protect oneself from unwanted pregnancy and STIs, the idea of getting knocked up is somewhat attractive to young girls. And why wouldn't it be? Moms and dads, can you really be mad when your 14-year-old daughter announces her pregnancy after encouraging her to be a caretaker for doll babies her entire childhood?

The first step is owning up to our own neurosis. The sickening mind games we play with ourselves and then pile on top of our young girls are centuries in the making, but at some point we must step back and look at the damage we are causing to future generations.

To insist that having a man and being a mother are the only two truly acceptable options for women and girls is as unfair as it is damaging. To infuse young female minds with the idea that they are nothing without the validation from a male counterpart is to continue a very damaging cycle. This hamster wheel includes (but is not limited to) domestic violence, child abuse, teen pregnancy and the spread of STIs and STDs.

Patriarchy silences women and children. Until the girls are safe, none of us are safe.

We have got to do a better job of giving women options beyond the hetero-normative, patriarchal mainstays. We are losing our girls left and right, both in mind and in physical body.

I have nothing against marriage nor motherhood. At 34-years-old, I still haven't deemed myself ready for either, but that doesn't mean I won't do both at some point. I am not here to be subversive to the idea of families and children. All I'm asking is for us to consider giving our girls a shot at other identities.

I implore you--if your daughter insists on pushing something on wheels down the street--get her a little cart of books instead.

Not Sure

2011-10-19T11:41:00.000-07:00

Why

Our

Teachers

America

get

Zero

Respect?

Better Question...

How is it that I always hear parents saying things like, "We are doing everything we can to help little John or Suzie" or "I am not sure what is left that I can do to help lil John or Suzie." Honestly, I do not understand this mindstate and truly can not believe that someone can be doing all they can when they have yet to explore every option.

I just want to say that if you are to ever be the best parents ever, then you must truly do everything you can to be the best parent ever.

Out of My Mind Just In Time II

2011-10-14T20:01:00.000-07:00

I really think Erykah Badu should remake the movie
"Mahogany"

I just watched it for the 1st time about 2 weeks ago and thought it was fabulous. So many things Diana Ross did as a model in the movie and I think it was written brilliantly. I just wanted to share that tit bit of my opinion before you began to enjoy this beautiful video

Peace

OUT MY MIND JUST IN TIME 2 from Creative Control on Vimeo.

"VOLUPTUOUS"

2011-10-14T18:32:00.000-07:00

Big Body Abundant

Thick & Voluptuous

Major Great Goddess

Dressed in Stars
with the Sun as a Crown
Bigger than Life
Twice as Tight as any Skinny Model on TV

She Is...
A Phenomenal Full-Figured Feminine Pharaoh

Ultimate
Sick Vicious Hips
Thighs Outrageous
Curves Out of Control

I Dream of this Queen
I Fiend for this Queen
Big Body Abundant
Thick & Voluptuous
I see she will be my Full-Fig Supreme Queen

Social Networking vs. Social Action!!!

2011-10-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

Before any sweeping indictments are made & anyone begins to give way to confusion' I would like to state, "I Love my Facebook & Twitter and I would go nuts without virtual Social Networking."

Now at the time I am making this statement, I also feel compelled to share with you that Social Networking is destroying the morality and accountability of our youth. It is creating an hedonistic generation of self idolization. It is promoting desires of instant gratification which lead to an inability to control any instincts where patience and rational thinking would normally kick in.

Now I do not wish to jump on any blame band-wagons and try to convince you all how much you must hate the internet and social network. I am just asking you to observe the pre-teens, teenagers & young adults around you. I am asking you to make the necessary realizations that their lifestyle options are incredibly different than ours were.

Today's youth (18 & under and even some that are 18 to 21) have no idea about the falling of the Berlin Wall. Our children have not spent many hours with a wristwatch on and I am sure has limited experience writing in cursive. Today's children under 21 have never used a typewriter or rotary phone. They are not familiar with Dr. Kevorkian, Dan Quayle or Rodney King and Bart Simpson has been around 4 years longer than anyone graduating high school in 2012. Finally' the World Wide Web has been their primary study tool since birth.

Now today's youth have an external instant orgasm button connected directly to their spine and it is burning out before they are the age of 21.

With this knowledge, I need every adult to understand something. Our youth will never know what hard work is. We have more spoiled and self entitled children skipping through the states than at any other time in our history. Our parents fought for our rights, we have taking advantage of the gains and now our children sit around, do nothing and have no clue of real struggle. In the last 50 years we have lost our #1 worldly status that we still cling to so dearly today. We are living in falsity because America is not #1 and it is our fault because we have become entitled.

I remember when you worked for everything you had and if you different have it, you saved up to get it. Now today's youth have an external instant orgasm button connected directly to their spine and it is burning out before they are the age of 21.

Now do not get me wrong, I do believe that every child is special. However, we as adults must help direct these youth into understanding positive ways to be special but also help them understand the difference between the times to be an individual and when to evoke teamwork.

We as adult Americans wish to blame everyone else but ourselves for economic setbacks but fail to ever take responsibility for our own misfortunes. I know I am not free of guilt and I am not casting the stones. I am however saying that today's youth need to take more responsibility than we have and transform their social networking into social action and changing not just America but the World...

"Nature & Nurture: Let Us Create Our Children in Our Image"

2011-10-05T13:49:00.000-07:00

I have spent countless hours with "At-Risk" and Juvenile Delinquent teenagers and preteens, and the one thing they all seem to have in common is that there is a parent (and in some cases both parents) who suffer from the same emotionally crippling disabilities as they do. Stubbornness, Disrespect, Anger and Addiction in our youth comes from Nature and Nurture. We pass these traits along to them at birth and foster them along as are children grow into young adult stage in our households.

When we make decisions based on our emotions we're doing the same exact thing we ask our children not to do. We must first identify our problems and one of our most greatest problems we as adults/parents face is that we don't see how making emotionally based decisions are so bad. We have to work through this important issue before we can help them with theirs. We must correct our dysfunction before we can help them with theirs.

I see many of our youth standing as warriors today. They wish to conquer the world just as we did. They also wish to have fun just as we did. Their difference is that we knew we wanted to be the greatest and had great potential that many us cultivated constantly. Today "Social Networking" has replaced "Social Action" and it is destroying are youth.

Everyday I find myself explaining to parents how it is more important to our youth to be Famous today than any other time in history. Through technology our youth are fostering a false sense of identity. A false sense of self love and self respect. Being cool for them is how many pokes, likes and post/comments they get in a day. Now couple that with an inherent desire to rebel against authority, to cheat, to self medicate and even worse, to step on and degrade someone next to them so that they may appear bigger.

America has always eaten her young but now she is regurgitating the half dead, undigested zombie minds back out to replace the next generation of American leaders.

We are America & We have Grown Sick!!!

Love: Selfish or Selfless?

2011-09-22T15:00:00.000-07:00

So I was reading a quote today that jogged a few old thoughts and questions about my philosophy of "Being In Love" loose.

My #1 question would be, is Pure & True Love Selfish or Selfless? My #2 question would be, does Unconditional Love really exist? The final question I struggle with is, can you love someone more than you love yourself?

Being that Love is an emotion, based on personal philosophy and since philosophy is not a science, I am not in anyway attempting to make such declaring statements that I want to sway anyone to believing I have a PhD in any science (I am just an highly opinionated, college drop-out, who has learned and applied experience "in the streets" lol).

1st things 1st... If we are all to believe it is unhealthy to love someone more than you love yourself, then love can never be selfless or unconditional. Although, if you believe in unconditional love then it would be nothing to believe that your love is selfless and unconditional.

Oddly enough, I believe in God but I do not believe in unconditional love. I do believe that love is selfish and I do believe that it is harmful to love someone else more than you love yourself. I think it would be only fair if I added that I am one of the most selfless and giving people that I know. I was originally raised in a family, home, church, school and community that instilled a philanthropy value and lead by extreme example. I turned my back from time to time on this philosophy upon reaching my early 20s and still occasionally struggle with a self-preservation instinct which is natural human instinct.

Today I look back on the many great and average relationships I have experienced over my 38 years on this planet. I have loved, been in love and been loved by a many of beautiful, gorgeous women (inside-n-out). I have chosen my mates based variety of different reasons but one has always remained steadfast. I have always wanted to be treated like a King and was always determined to treat them as my Phenomenal Feminine Pharaoh, the Queen of All Dreams.

Now not all women from my past have been treated the same. My levels of compromise have always varied individual to individual and when I reflect on the differences the reasons all remain same. How did she treat me is the only variation. When it all came down to it, my happiness was the most important thing to me and determined the level of my compromise.

In short, I can not say that i believe i can ever love another human being more than myself and to be in love is to still think selfish.

Uncle Salaam's "Bizarre Ride Through My Bright Black Mind"

2011-08-23T11:26:00.000-07:00

Good Day Gorgeous Supporters

& Active Interest Takers into the Thoughts & Visions of an Eclectic, Florescent, Electric, Super-Sized Circus known as...

Uncle Salaam's: "Bizarre Ride Through My Bright Black Mind"

Today is Tuesday, August 23, 2011, I am in Hemet, CA.

I have been working on an in-depth & honest resume since 7:30am and it is after 11:30am and I have a long way to go. Needless to say, this is extremely boring, which is the obvious reason for my break.

I have shared quite a few text messages with a many different people this morning (65% of them women). Through the course of my electronic transmissions with these various sisters, I have found out a few things about myself and my future. I have a hard time trusting women today. I am still the "Hopeless Romantic" from previous post omissions but today I realize that I'm not as Happy to be such. It is like today I realized something new and very dramatic.

Today I realized that I am a "Hapless Romantic"

I saw my desires for what they are. I noticed that I dream so hard of "Love" and "Being In Love" that I do not take the time to respect, develop nor work on Love the way I should. I am such a fan of written words that I ignore speech and actions most times. Tell me u Love Me in a text message and I forget that how irritated I may have been the previous hour. Tell me that I mean more to you than anything and I will forget that your running a hour late for dinner. Tell me that I am the Greatest and I might let you join me in a Vertical Joyride...(lol)

Seriously speaking, I am just saying that I know I must decrease my falling speed. To be honest, I think my problem is not that I keep falling so quickly but more jumping over the edge with no bungee-cord. I need to walk into Love. I need to enjoy the Journey as well as the Destination.

"this time tho (keepin it real)
I'm staying on point like Bobby Flay in a BBQ Throwdown
& I'm Guarding My Grill"

Okay Wonderful People, I need to conclude this trip and continue with my resume writing. Try to have an Awesome Day without any further Interruptions from My Bright Black Mind.

I...C...U

2011-08-14T23:05:00.000-07:00

Eye Ran the World
& Realized that Day Dreams aren't for Kings or Queens...

so Eye...

Killed the Thoughts a of Young Prince,

Eye...

Neglected My Physical & Emotion,

Eye...

Cleansed My Eye upon the Sight of a Phenomenal Feminine Pharaoh,
Marched to the Top of the Gaza Pyramid,
Spread My Soul,
& Re-Birthed Myself Morally New for You

Come Kiss My Lips & Make My Blood Boil

2011-08-14T18:09:00.000-07:00

the taste of Cranberry & Chocolate Chips caress my lips when I wish for kisses frm the sweetest victory after an argument beyond winning

in the beginning we shared over cooked creative disasters
& still smiled because the presence of an earth maiden, archer firing flaming arrows was a present that blessed me with a bulls-eye every time

& my gift
it was ur lips when the sunset & the moon called like hip-hop MCs in the 80s

Yes
Yes
Ya'll
to the beat ya'll

we are...
on one rhythm
one sound & one accord
with one heart beating I can't ignore that way my music skips when ur sweet kiss is flavored with cranberries, white chocolate chips & macadamia nuts

touch me
as I clutch u
Come Kiss My Lips & Make My Blood Boil

Saturday Night Live on My Desert Island aka Up The Hill

2011-08-14T00:49:00.000-07:00

There are not many things that I can think of that are worse than being in an argument with someone u care about at 1am, them falling asleep and your wide awake with all your thoughts because you took a nap at 7:30pm.

Unfortunately this is where I am finding myself right now. It is not the worse possible thing that could be happening to me in life. I mean I could be dealing with the lost of a loved one or my house could be on fire (although I am not a home owner and currently living under my parents roof at 38 years of age....Damn). I think I have made my point of things that could be much worse though, so let us move forward.

My biggest problem right now is that I have not learned how to redirect my negative thoughts into a positive direction all the time without flaw. I can perform this task numerous times throughout an average day so that I do not get trapped into trying to stop the inevitable from becoming real. In other words, "If you think it, then it shall be be real." This is a simple quote that I believe and hold whole-heartedly too. It is Universal Law, I guess, you could say. How about this, we'll just call it "Faith Manifested" and I have no desire to think anything that I do not want to become real.

So I have been experiencing every type of warfare lately. I have fought with myself spiritually, emotionally, rationally & physically. Most of these wars are fought on the battleground over nicotine and my desires to smoke a cigarette. Addiction is cruel and I am in combat with a cruel enemy.

Okay, back to my Faith Manifested. The last month plus (July & August) has been particularly difficult for me. I have had a birthday, found myself in the ER and completely lost my financial and physical independence. I am currently residing with my parents in Victorville, CA aka the High Desert aka "Up the Hill." It is not the greatest situation but at least I have a roof over my head.

One of the many great battles I must endure by being up the hill is not being close to my friends. It is not easy being less than a hour away from the city but feeling like you might as well be in a different country. It almost feels like I have been abandoned or banished to an desert island, where the humanoid occupants have only half their adult teeth & use grunting sounds for speech. An Island where the inhabitants constantly question my desire to willfully make a residence here. I can only look them in their wide, red desert eyes and say... "I have No Idea Why any of Us, do what we Do."

Hopefully within the next 45 days I can conclude this excursion and make my way back to L.A. County. Maybe the city of Pomona shall be my next stop or at least Upland, Rancho Cucamonga or Fontana which are also always nice choices. As for this weekend I shall sit with this computer and keyboard, focus on Facebook and dream with reckless abandon.

Victorville is Not Bringing It

2011-08-05T15:56:00.000-07:00

On the 1st of this month I moved to the High Desert (Victorville, CA) and it has been Hell...

That move was made on Monday and today is Friday, which means I have been here for 5 days but one of which I spent back down the hill in Rancho. I am struggling to keep my sanity in an area that has zero cultural diversity and lacks any type of entertainment. The fact that I am making a real effort to stop smoking is not helping and also lacking steady employment has not made my time up here any easier.

I try to see the brighter side of life such as on August 16th I will be taking a test for a Social Services Eligibility Worker for the County of San Bernardino. This is about the only positive thing I have going in my life right now. My big problem is that I keep having this "Murphy's Law"thoughts that some how that one positive is going to go down the drain. Some how what can go wrong, inevitably will.

It is very much a feeling of incarceration being in this house everyday. Someone is always telling me what i can and cannot do. I have designated meal and shower times and I receive zero visitors.

Daily I attempt to work on the formation of my non-profit organization but it is hard to focus on something that feels so far away. Especially since I have no idea what I am doing. I am not familiar with any of the paperwork that I am looking at. I've only heard the terminology that is being used in passing and there is no one to help me understand any of this.

I think my biggest problem is that I have always lived one moment at a time and now that has come back to haunt me. I have experienced so many wonderful things in life, a life lived like it was all a dream. I have always had the biggest heart and thought of others just as much as I thought of myself (favorite quote, "I am a Socialist with a Capitalist Migraine"). This has seem to have comeback to bite me in my big black behind. People that I have called friends are no longer there. I have a couple of people but for the most part I am a man alone with my eccentric esoteric thoughts.

I truly have struggled through-out the years with always having a different thought pattern, discernment, reason or rationale from the average person. Although, I must admit, for the most part I loved being different. It wasn't easy when I was young and still in school. It has not been easy in the work force. The time where I have loved it is being an Entertainer.

I have graced many of stage in my days of entertainment glory. From plays/musicals to stand-up comedy. From Hip-Hop concerts to Poetry readings, high school talent shows to the Staples Center where my World Champion LA Lakers call home and everything in-between. I do keep true to the belief that my days of writing, producing and performing have not concluded. Which is when it all comes down to it... My Writing is All I Have & My Writing Will Bring Me Through the Fire!!!

Documentary of a 38 Year Play in Progress...

2011-07-10T12:26:00.000-07:00

Well I figure since it is my birthday weekend I have to post something. It is also my new calendar addition "Indie Movie Sunday" where I will watch at least one new independent movie every Sunday (if not more than one) which of course that prompts my intellectual being to produce, and that writer's itch that comes over me once or twice a week and I just can't resist.

I have experienced a whirlwind of emotions over the last past few weeks leading up to my 38th birthday. I have found myself in several new relationships and honestly none feel real. It is like my world has been trapped between reality-n-fantasy and I am viewing everything through an outer body third perception. I can only describe it as I am the playwright, the director and the main actor in a romantic comedy. My trouble is that I see the irony that is quickly morphing my lighthearted, comedic-love story into a dramatic tragedy but can not change the scene or redirect my control over the supporting cast.

The scene that my life has been set against and my on stage "B-story" has been placed on the back burner but is rapidly poising itself for a Tony Award-Winning, center stage emotional supernova explosion. I have always thought of myself as being in a situation of economic inferiority as compared to most of my industry peers (who are all homeowners if not millionaires) but with the decline of the nation on a whole financially has me in a position where every dollar that is made feels like it could be the last.

Recently I my joy has been replace with superficial, temporary physical giggles over a thriving, vibrant mind and soul that made their home in happiness and content to "Let Go & Let God". I turned 38 years old yesterday and the only question I could ask myself is, "What can I afford?" I asked myself if I can afford to live in a nice townhouse in Rancho Cucamonga? Can I afford having any woman in my life right now? Can I afford not to write? Can I afford not to record?

This play is in no way over and I shall re-write like the Dickens and create the greatest transition into the most magnificent ending ever imagined. My 38 Year Play in Progress is just beginning to thicken and will take everyone involved on the outrageous and awesome ride the moment you, my audience are ready.

Come With Me Now...

Anaïs Nin

2011-07-06T20:18:00.000-07:00

"I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls."

— Anaïs Nin

I am a Socialist with a Capitalist Migraine

2011-07-06T13:29:00.000-07:00

I am a Socialist with a Capitalist Migraine

I want to Save the World while wearing Kenneth Cole t-shirts, DKNY white linen cargo carpi pants & rock Salvatore Ferragamo flip flops...

I'm always working hard to help various non-profit organizations gain recognition and fund raise for research but I have never wanted to look homeless while I do it...

Although, I find it more important to push my mental muscle and build bigger my soul so I can hold the weight of the world on my neck and spine. I'll always find time to tilt my L-R-G trucker ball cap to the right side...

I mean I really love fashion, love looking good & I love staying fresh-n-clean but it doesn't mean that my soul has any less depth than the president of the American Red Cross or creator of TOMS "1 for 1" shoes...

I Recycle
I Reduce
I Reuse
and I refuse to dress like a hippie
or been known as that one cat that really needs a shower...

So tell me,
While u judge me...
What are your guilty pleasures?

Mortality in the Making

2011-07-05T12:08:00.000-07:00

On Thursday at 11:59pm I was headed into my Friday morning facing my mortality. Riding passenger in a friend's Chevy Trail Blazer struggling to keep my composure while my chest felt as if my heart was going to stop functioning in the next second. That was not what I had an issue with, but what was the cause and what was going to be the final result of this dilemma was all I could think about.

Now honestly speaking, I've seen times where immediate life threatening danger was baring down upon me. The difference in this situation was the amount of time I had to sit and think and there was also the fact I could not do anything about it. I could not fight, hide or call anyone for any assisitance. The feelings and thoughts that were streaming around my head with the speed of light, were bright but had no shine. Thoughts of Jade and Ayden, my parents, friends, family and my words...

I thought of every thought that I had most recently had but hadn't a chance to express. I saw so many dreams and fantasies that could never become reality if tonight was going to be my last. I became the 1st hand witness to my immortality being in question.

I have always believed that I would breath forever. That I would be everywhere and do everything. That my children's children would speak of me as they seen me in person. That my family would reminisce of my wedding with the fondness of watching Micheal Jackson perform Billie Jean on Motown 25 where he 1st rocked the "Moonwalk" and adorned the infamous sequenced glove. My life will not be forever and I was seeing this for the 1st time.

It is now 4 days later. America had celebrated it's 235th birthday and I will celebrate my 38th on Saturday, July 9th. I want to do so many things but I know that I will not be accompanied by who I truly desire. I will not have my wife with me because she does not exist. I will not have my children with me because... I do not even know why...

I will not see another Birthday like this tho...

Today is the Tomorrow that I have been Promising to do Better...

Bag Lady

2011-07-04T15:29:00.000-07:00

Ur Baggage is Back Breaking!!!

This is a statement and not a question.
It is not up for discussion.
It is fact.

Stay Strong & Stay Positive

2011-06-30T12:26:00.000-07:00

"Life is Harsh and Ugly, so Don't Reject Me..."
-Nas

For the most part, June has been a disturbingly unattractive and ugly month for me and quite a few of my close friends. First, I have dealt with more financial hardship than normal. Now more than I've had to deal with the situations I'm going through, I've been making an extraordinary attempt to be a "Great Friend" to quite a few in my life.

I realize that as many problems as I think I could have that I must remember, what I am going through is nothing.

*I am not dying
*I am not incarcerated
*I am not homeless
*My children do not hate me
(even if I can't see them all the time/everyday)

Hmmm, I just realized that making that list was harder than making a list of positives. It was actually difficult for me to phrase the negative situations that were not happening to me. I kept wanting to say everything positively. I wanted to say...

*I am Alive
*I am Free
*I have a Place to Rest My Head Every Night
*I Love My Children & My Children Love Me

We must all remember to be thankful for what we have and not what we do not have. We must not confuse tough times and hardship for definite end of the world catastrophe.

I have watched many people in the most recent years across America and the entire world face incredibly discouraging and entire life changing, destructive odds.

Earthquakes, Floods, Tsunamis, Tornadoes and Hurricanes and through all the pushed forward.

We lose our homes and our cars breakdown. We lose jobs or our medical coverage is cut. We even lose family members to death and disease. We also must remember that there are a great number of people in Joplin, Missouri and in the country of Japan who this year have lost everything I just named in the same hour. People who have faced great devastation and had to muster the necessary strength to keep going.

I have been trying to figure out what is it that keeps people going in those outrageous circumstances. Is it mental or spiritual? Is it a biological gene bred and passed through many years of family bloodlines? Could it be social-psychological and/or cultural upbringing that since birth has been installed into every child with-in their society eventually creating great adults? I think it could be all of the above and that many of the those next to me need to figure out how to tap into these powers and begin to prepare ourselves and our children on what the true definition of "Strength" really is...

Stay Strong & Stay Positive People

Hopeless, Open, Heart-n-Soul Powered & Moving Forward

2011-06-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

It is Monday morning and I have not left my house since Saturday evening when I got off of work. I truly know what cabin fever is now. I have been in conversation with an old friend lately who has been around since the beginning of this year. She has helped me out of many tight situations over the last few months and I truly appreciate it. I have been considering an actual relationship with her but because of past incidents and history I am not sure if that would be the correct choice. We have known each other since we were in high school over 20 years ago and dated a few years outside of high school when we were 20 and 21. I desire more with her and she lets me know daily that she would love to have more with me but once again I must state that I just do not know.

There has also been some communication with my ex-girlfriend. That has been difficult because though we only dated seriously for a short time (less than 2 months), I have had the darnedest time completely moving pass that relationship. I am not sure if I liked the thought of having a woman that I had complete attraction and desired for or if I was really wanting a relationship with her. It is wild because I would have thought that they were both the same but I am realizing now that I really know how to romanticize a situation.

I learn something new about myself everyday. My most recent discovery is that "I am a Hopeless Romantic" and I'm not sure if I like it. I simply see that it is easily a larger component of what makes me a poet and capable of true love but it also makes me vulnerable for heartbreak. Another dimension of "The Gift & Curse" I must endure through.
Good. Bad, and the Ugly drama that must proceed when every fantasy becomes reality.

I had quite a negative break-up with my ex-gf and turned very ugly and disrespectful when the relationship ended. I would text her outrageous messages over a 2 day period, letting her know what I felt about her and how much I could not stand her. Obviously, half of it was not the case, I really did like and appreciate her but I was hurt and I could not see past that. The statements I was making that were truthful, were delivered with such anger and resentment for the way I was treated that they could never be taken in their true context. I am constantly apologizing to her everyday for being so disrespectful and hope that I can get my Honor as a Good Man back.

I would Love to repair my ex-gf's pains and sorrows I caused and also the ones that were there before I arrived. I know it is not possible to turn back time and if you could and I was limited to the amount of times I could perform that fantastical trick. I know that this most recent event would not make that top 25 of my historical mishaps and blunders I wish I could go back and repair. This does not mean I will not try everything in my powers to move forward with bringing new positivity to an old negative. I know I want to Heal and I want her to Heal.

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." -Brain Tracy

Okay, time to eat some chocolate cake, ice cream and a few chocolate chip cookies, my all-time favorite comfort foods. So Yeah, don't usually hear men speak of comfort food very often do you? Guess that is the Hopeless Romantic in me. Would anyone else would like some of my goodies?

Smith Family King... Happy Fater's Day

2011-06-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

I Love My Father...

He is a Real King...

Happy Father's Day Papa...

Reality vs. Experience

2011-06-18T12:20:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon a profound quote many years ago. In an instant it dictated an etching on my eternal conscious that will last 9 minutes beyond eternity.

"We don't see things as they are,
we see them as we are"
- Anais Nin

If you truly know me then you are aware that I have experienced a great many things.
My Reality.
You know that I keep an universal view of reality that evolves with every sensation I experience just as everyone grows in some way or another by what they touch, taste, see, smell and hear. Although, to know me means knowing this process is in complete over-drive in every moment due to my Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder & an emotionally spiritual passion so great that if our sun had begun to burn dim, I would bury my heart into the ground so it could give our earth the power to continue to rotate. Now that is exactly what I describe as beautiful passion, though some may rather refer to that as being emotionally unstable. To which I say... "Yes, stability never creates, it only stands still & God choose me to move mountains into the seas and make waves. Why else would he call me his Sun?"

Now let me have a minute or so to work my way backwards through this all. I want to touch more upon this powerful quote that has stayed with me for the better part of 10 years now. I have always held to the philosophy that "personal experiences shape our realities." Although, recently this philosophy has been experiencing more of the "which came 1st, the chicken or the egg" question.

I do believe that every experience we have in every moment of life is creating a new understanding in our reality. Now we take the new reality into the next experience with have in the next moment, create a new reality and there our reality cycles roll. Every moment of everyday our reality cycles gain momentum. Spinning a cyclone of experiences into a whirlwind of realities. What I have most recently realized is that because we take our own reality into new experiences, we also pull a total different reality out of the same exact experiences. The outrageous part of this all is that it seems so easy a concept to understand but the application is nowhere as easy to imply.

Here is a simple example. I have a conversation with someone I am dating over dinner. We are both experiencing the same surroundings, smells, courses in the meal but experiences that universally same reality in much different ways. I may think it went great from beginning to end. She felt it lacked luster and intellectually stimulating conversation. She may feel like I spoke to much about myself and not asked her enough questions. We both have a reality we walked into this date with, experienced the same experience but left with the completely different realities just as we came into it with.

Now the reason I wanted to expound on this particular subject today is because as individuals I feel it is important we understand the position and/or plight of the next man or woman. We are always so quick to judge and hold someone responsible for their actions but we must realize that they only can grab a reality out of every experience by how which the way they experience it. So do not judge their realities by your own because as many times as you can explain your reality, they are experiencing something different.

God's Will vs. Salaam's Will

2011-06-15T09:05:00.000-07:00

It is the Wednesday before Father's Day & of course that time of the year that a brother really starts feeling down...

Unfortunately, this Father's Day is becoming even more & more difficult to deal with do to several relationship changes I have faced in the last 3 months. The ending of a 15 month relationship with my ex-girlfriend, Julie & her 4 children is hard. When u begin to compound that with the absence of Jade & Ayden from my life does not make it any easier. And finally you add in my most recent relationship defeat between Patricia & I with-in the last 72 hours you have a mix that is hyper explosive...

Now, I always try to think optimistically about the future but today it is becoming increasingly more difficult to look towards brighter tomorrows. I am not young anymore & have come to the realization that I will never have a child that is biologically mine, which means that I will never have the rights that so many fathers ignore. I will never look into the eyes of my son or daughter on their 1st day of school or on their wedding day. I will never become over run with joy on their birthday in the hospital & I will never experience knowing that my father's name will live on. I will never see these things.

I am not sure what the plan is that God has for me but I do know what it is I desire for myself and it is not to just be a bump in the road of everyone else's family journey & success. Every year at this time I begin to feel more and more like Job and Lot from the Old Testament Bible. I feel as if God is making an example of me or testing me by destroying everything around me. Every relationship I have fails for one reason or another and in the wake of these great devastating demoralizing defeats are children that I have become attached to when their father's are nowhere to be found. Every year another Father's Day rolls around and I am forced to remember what I will never have. I remember the 1st one, the Father's Day I had to deal with great loss.. A birthday that would have fallen about the same time as Ayden's in October/November that will never be. She/He would have been 12 years old right now if my baby was not aborted on my birthday, July 9, 1998...

I ask God to return to me a positive outlook on what Father's Day can be. I think of Him and my father, who is a great man although he is not always perfect. My father fell in love with my mother after returning from Vietnam and took on the responsibility of raising 4 children that were not biologically his & then creating another son after marriage which is me. We do not discuss this in my family for many reasons.

I Love My Father and Admire the Sacrifices that he continuously made and makes to this day. I think many forget what he has had to persevere over the last 40/45 years. We are quick to remember the bad decisions he has made with finances and maybe frown when he is not as willing to leap from his easy-chair and accompany us to a movie or basketball game. I however, do remember every day I have disappointed him. I remember the day he told me that I may not legally change my name to Salaam when I was 21 years ld because I am the only way his name will leave on in purity as I am his only biological son. I feel I disappoint him everyday, whether he himself still feels that way or not. I do remember every headache I have had to cause him when I had to seek his help in repairing the disasters my over-active mind conceived throughout my 37 years of living.

I know God has a plan for me, the same way he had a plan for my father. My only concern is that he delivers or reveals a positive part of it to me before I am to weak to continue on to the day that it will be fulfilled.

Happy Father's Day to All the Real Dads & Step-Dads Out There Busting Their Humps for Their Children & remember to let God's Will Be Done...

also read: http://unclesalaam.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-fathers-day.html

Jade's Promotion

2011-05-25T08:16:00.000-07:00

Yesterday (Tuesday morning) my little girl graduated onto high school.

It was a proud moment for me & I was so honored to be appreciated and recognized by her & her family as being Jade's dad (even tho her mother & I have not been together for years). The thing that kept flashing and crawling through my mind was how do the men of this world continue to have children that they refuse to have any responsibility for? What is it about these most magnificent gifts of life make a man run?

I consider myself to be very blessed that I have been allowed to share in Jade & Ayden's lives as a father figure. I am experiencing a love that is like no other thing imaginable. The amazing thing about the whole situation is that they are both 2 Gorgeous and Happy children. They both have their issues like every child their age has but they are not "Out of Control" & they have so much Love in their Hearts.

Jade will be entering the Gifted and Talented Education Program (G.A.T.E.) at Etiwanda High School. I am so Proud of my brilliantly beautiful little girl it is beyond all my past dreams, desires and fantasies for her.

When her mother and I met, Jade was starting the 3rd grade and was starting to struggle academically in school. I explained to her mother that we must create an environment for both Jade and Ayden to scholastically thrive in. That accomplishment in education, knowledge, personal discipline, creativity & social skills are what we must dedicate our personal time to if we expect them to excel. I was told by several people that I was to dominating and that I expected to much from young students. (glad I did not listen to the nay-sayers).

I am not a supporter of the theories by which most Americans (conservatives & liberals alike) are raising their children under. I will not accept anything less than the best and you will not be rewarded without first truly making a honest and complete effort. You are not special until you prove that you are special. Life and the world are much to harsh and ugly for the way we are continually sending under-prepared young people into them. Both Jade and Ayden understood, stepped up to the challenge and began achieving and reaching for higher success. (and just in case you were wondering...I love the Tiger Mom's theories and balance between eastern & western child rearing practices)

I am planning to spend as much time as possible with Jade & Ayden this summer. I really feel like I have been missing many growth opportunities with them since I have been partially absent over the last 18 months (seeing them every other month for a weekend is just not enough for me). I hope that I can continue to be a most positive influence in their lives & I'm looking forward to that day they graduate from high school in 4 & 5 years.

I Love You Guys Forever!!!

Good Morning

2011-05-19T08:53:00.000-07:00

Click Here

Time & Inner Space

2011-05-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

Original People travel time

& search inner space for a place to call home...

roaming concrete covered souls

we expose ourselves to galactic glory

& ride comets thru the holes in ur soul

& fill those around us with galactic glory...

Original People Travel Time

& Search Inner Space for a Place known as Home...

Implode...

2011-05-19T07:50:00.000-07:00

Burgundy Crush Velvet Voluptuous...

I step down the black stairway to heaven,

grind til spines combine & electricity sparks,

erotic parts fuse...

We Explode!!!

Kiss Lips & Rocket Ships Zoom...

Inner Galactic Time Travel,

unroll red velvet carpet & step aboard,

encore kiss my spirit with the tip of super nova stars

We Explode!!!

Riding in the Zone

expose u to me & sit not touching

but feeling every millimeter of your mind & soul

I Love it when...

We...

Implode...

Love Life Laugh & Laugh some More!!!

2011-05-18T12:53:00.000-07:00

well if you know me then you know I love to laugh and smile all the time

maybe i will explain to u what "all the time" really means

i am always turned on
(and i mean in hyper giddy/silly mood)
i am a great believer in comedy and laughter heals

if you have cancer...
watch some comedies and it will go into remission

if you are suffering from a bitter break-up
a lil Jim Carey or Dave Chappelle will make you forget about all that
LoL

i think Life is too Short to sweat the small stuff
not that the 2 previous mentioned life tragedies were small by any means
but they are both wonderful examples of how you must...
Let Go & Let God!!!
and since we all know that God is Love
and Love is expressed with joy and happiness
laughter and smiles
i think that the number one healing power and medicine out there is to let happiness cleanse u
to let joy come in and push the negativity out

it is a fact that the mind (brain) is the must powerful and intricate machine known to man
that most of us use less than 10% of our true brain power at one time
(most are somewhere around 4% to 5%)
they say that Albert Eistien used 12%

now if we are pushing our consciousness constantly in a low gear
kind of like driving your car all day long 60 mph in 1st gear and never ever shifting
just pushing day after day
(now we talking about some stress)
after a very short while
it will blow up

what laughter, happiness, joy is to me
it's like the oil that moves through your cogs and sprockets
keeping your extremely sophisticated engine running to perfection
relieving the stress that is must for must of to endure in our day to day work and family lives
rather you have children or not
rather you work 25 hours or 75 hours a week
flipping burgers to help pay tuition
running into burning building and pulling out elderly hospice patients
or dealing with an over bearing boss who does not have half the education or people skills that you poses but he still shines because he attaches his names to the every extremely detailed report that spent 75% of your weekend working on

if any of these are you
or anything like you
i suggest that when you have some "You Time"
spend it laughing
put a smile on your face
if you can not make it to a comedy club
then watch a comedy on cable or DvD
if that is to much
go on you-tube
just do something that makes yourself laugh

in other words
you must take a pro-active roll in inducing happiness and joy in your life

Laugh Now
because You are Not Promised a Later

2011-05-18T11:44:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Unusual

2011-05-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

the beautiful is the unusual...
thick liquid brown skin tone...
rough & cold...
icee-hot bloodlines change minds...
while time smiles with a sinister blind eyeless face...
never looking back...
journey forward...
footsteps down forever changing cracks creating canyons...
tracks made from the escape of a glass cage...
now rage sparks before sparkling joy...
fear...
orgasms and pity...
memories, remenising tears shower that sweet, sour beauty... thinning your gorgeous brown skin tone grows colder from froozen surroundings, swimming in your beauty...
your charcoal mellowed tennessee beauty...
so beautiful...
so unusual...
stutter thoughts...
my dark chest heart-burned...
burlap coated throat chokes and coughs...
i pause...
lick lips...
sit still...
perched low while blood sugar rises with every kiss from your love
sedative soaked lips is speaking french to my soul...

ExQuisite... ConYac... BouRboN... WhiSKey
whisking me into an EuPhoRia....

Imagine

2011-05-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

Imagine sinless seduction...
Primal sexual oppression & privledge...
Uninhibited desires fulfilled...
Taste...
Touch...
Smells...
and Sights darkened pitch black by blindfolds...
Oral stimulation spoken in foriegn tongue...
the victorious voice of lust singing high-pitched, hardcore opera hymns...
rhytmic sound of pounding flesh meshed with muscle & bone on bone & limbs stiff like steal...

Feel No Limits

Twisting, Turning, Touching, Weightless anti-gravity atmospheres...
Never come down...
150 minutes turning towards eternity...internally imploding outside-in...
visions vivid thru the dark like desert stars soaking sunburst thru the soul...

NOW HOLD!!!

& Imagine Love...
Feel affectionate lips kiss foreheads & the smooth romantic dance of spiritual desire...
All Honesty
All Truth
can we see the same visions?
both roads merged to 1
can they touch the same Image?
Love vivid in Lust liquified for bathing...
always unbashful...
totally unashamed...
Prohibited by none...
We meet when the both becomes 1...
Unified Champion Triumphant

I was 5 once b4 & all I remember is My Pic...

2011-05-18T09:28:00.000-07:00

the young old soul in the picture spoke a thousand words
gleeful & dream filled
proud my butterfly collar was crisp and colorful
spread from throat to shoulder
& blessed with an even wider perfectly patted Afro which resembles a halo
splendid, natural smile dimpled plum plumped cheeks
elated with speech
my 5 year young mind
unable to see futures
but I remember my dreams
so simple and sweet
so innocent
No mortgage payments
No bills
No killing caffeine filled grande cups of coffee
Nor counting calories
No jail bars
No courtrooms
No intolerable college roommates on mushrooms
No Jack Daniels
or searching for lighters and zig-zags
and knowing I'm already late for my next class
No explaining to my parents why I'm droping out for the 3rd time
No 9 to 5's
No 7 to 9... 13 hour work days

No shame
No blame
No names of yester-years past lovers
or presently suffering from repayments of universal carma

just simple dreams
so sweet & so innocent
candy and cartoons
bus rides to zoos
playing in the dirt
and my only hurt was getting a splinter
or skinning my knee
so simply sweet
I remember my dreams &
now know what it means when they say...
"the youth is wasted on the young"
because if I knew then, what i know now
without doubt
I'd have an even bigger smile

We Witness!!!

2011-05-18T09:22:00.000-07:00

offbeat...
quirky and queer...
floating thru waves of eccentric self-indulgance...
we gape with penetrating stares...
peering at reflections of raped ancestory soiled greatly with dusty, dirt brown colored skin tones...
skinny body festers solid dark hues...
black & blue blossoms purple flower blisters, scarring our souls from fights for your favor...
no time for us...
only self-indulged future dreams mock our needs and wants...
while sullen eyes drive our souls to follow the brilliant blings of trophy friendships... we witness the reality of your faith in self...
and Yes!!! Unsusal...
unable to fit ordinary molds...
distinctive model original, so we gawk estranged at slpenderous radiant rainbows of alienated wardrobes...
and black over-heated/treated head wiskers, shallow and short, barely covers your scalp...
and for this in our reason devotion presist as we witness magnificant inspiration...
we sit in adoration of your beauty and our purpose for poetry is you...
a gorgeous, beautiful, phenominal pheminine pharaoh revered...

Thighz (written in 2007)

2011-05-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

thick thighs totally tantalizing

unashamed thighs

unbridaled

full-figured thighs

vuloptuous & vibrant

vigorous thighs

unhibited

deliberate in movement

revolutionary thighs

evolutionary thighs

eyes wide on thighs

liberated

bold & beautiful

free & flowing thighs

feel thighs

real thighs

realize the real life in between thighs

high on thighs to touch freedom

forever thighs

eternal thighs

heavenly

hypnotic thighs

thick & magnificent

mighty plus size thighs

marvelous

always captivating me

Kiss Me Again

2011-05-18T08:45:00.000-07:00

My Dreams begin with a Kiss bold enough to extend the boundaries of skin.

Lips piercing your flesh to illuminate your soul
bountiful body of light.
I touch unlimited,
the tenderest taboos unveiled,
treasure explored... pure pleasure
revered
we clinch, tight with anticipation.
impatiently awaiting solid movement.
so subtle...
do you know i am there?

Kiss

2011-05-16T10:51:00.000-07:00

Imagine the Lips that could make Ms. Jollie Jealous...

the most exotic, addictive lips you've ever witness

multi-million dollar MAC cosmetic model lips

the perfect lips

impervious to all weather lips that could put Chapstick out of business

Ol Skool natural lips

full & voluptuous, seductive,

Violet Burgundy Velvet Oil-Painted Lips

urban originated,

Cal State college educated lips

sista Angela Davis' wit, 70s Soul Power lips

she has those lips

speak no evil lips

with fingertips on hips

we Kiss

& I'm teleported to Heaven by her lips

rocket ship over the moon lips

"Make Me Wanna Holla" & jump the broom lips

black tuxedo & winter white wedding gown lips

Neva turned down

No frown lips

Kiss a "boo boo" & make a small child sunbeam smile lips

midnight, intellectually magnificent lips

crack of dawn, morning I miss u lips

I Dream of those lips

All Day Overtime Sexually Stimulating Me Lips...

Now just imagine those lips are only 5th on the list of her Greatest Features

"Supernova" (the velvet curtain encore)

2011-05-05T10:42:00.000-07:00

spine tingles

nose open

i touch sights with images of brilliance & beauty

she knows where i stand

upright on 2 feet i seek daylight

bright supernova

passing over lessor objects

my holy grail is vialed by the violet blue velvet heaven's celestial magnificence

her throne is a bronze sun

burning the flags of all opposed

i see the 1

i touch what is promised

the never forgotten

the forever ripe fruit on the highest branch

she sits as the mother of my great family tree

she is to me what so many Mary's were to the Messiah

she is saving my thoughts & soul

holding my heart in protective hands

she is what i have journeyed for

she is great encore...

Damascus Queen

2011-04-12T11:23:00.000-07:00

roadside she stood

shrouded in a cloak of Passion, Pride & Purple-Blue Grape Flavored Bruises reminiscent of Flower Blossoms...

jet black tangled braids covered in green cast-armored head dressings

towering flagrant in her flamboyance

she was statuesque & sensational but meek in manner & humble in demeanor

dictated in dominance by the dimensional standards of what was never excepted

she was professing I am only that I am...nothing more

her posture spoke a passive & unobtrusive riddle

standing in avoidance through her down-turned eyes focused on the road

she spoke & told me that she can see my thoughts & felt love when she touched my words

but I heard nothing...

she was a tall, brutal & voluptuous figure

pronounced unwaivering

but held not an inkling of incline or aggression

I knew that there was more...

I knew that All I was witnessing was only the beginning of a Journey where the Destination was of no concern...

I wanted her to roll this road with me...

I asked if she was here for me...

she only declared that "I am here Forever"

(to be continued)

daydreamer

2011-04-11T14:35:00.000-07:00

my daydreams are like an outer body experience...
wishing i could witness u in real life at every moment...
wishing to see what your doing now...

in the daylight with a flashlight

2011-04-11T14:04:00.000-07:00

she had a flashlight in the daylight...

high noon hanging outsiders without a rope...

deep sea diving & admiring brilliantly beautiful options in speechless water life

she passed outsider off like rugby laterals

skating circles around outlined images of her in thoughts...

NO,

she was not looking for it...

but she still stalked it...

illuminated by her own spotlight & theme music

red carpet statuesque magnificence was only magnified by the flashlight she had in the daylight

she said she saw me

but she would not let me speak b4 I was hung like an outsider at high noon

at first thought

2011-04-11T13:43:00.000-07:00

we exchanged vows of loyalty without a witnesses to be seen

crossed hand over heart because i could not find my bible

we exchanged vows of trust but there was not a witness in sight

deep weary late night eye contact pledged honesty though she did not want it

we exchanged vows of monogamy although I was the only one in the room, complexed of why you were not there

ignoring the reality that I could be here without what is deserved

what is desired & what is not seen

& u are what I have been eluding for over 30 years

everything that I should be half of

all that should make the whole that I am if I am to be...

at 1st thought I awaken to what u are & the romanticism that I have conceived...

Be Real

& I will Vow & Pledge Everything that "I AM"

She Speaks w/Me...

2011-04-11T13:33:00.000-07:00

Conception of Heaven told timeless stories in her eyes...
Her voice sang soft words spoken...
"Good Evening Brother"
My Heart skipped & sputtered like it lacked Fuel...
Energy Low & my knees wobbled...
I swallowed pride & said I just want to listen as she spoke timeless stories with her eyes of how Heaven was Conceived inside Her...

My Hope Walks an Invisibly Thin Rope...

2011-02-17T12:54:00.000-08:00

I see what Life can be

Positive but not Optimistic

I see what Life should be

but I stand

looking down a feed barrel & feeling the stench hit my face just b4 that which is not going to kill me immediately

but leave me to sick to further compete comes colliding down

falling free and touches my tongue

it slides thru my insides

inedible death concealed beneath FDA regulated products

holding my heart hostage so I love Facebook more than human contact

its inside of me writing a contract on my soul

signing it in heroin narcotic tipped needles prick in leave tatted imprints that seem like satanic hieroglyphics

Hopeless I try to decipher the deed

it reads in an ancient angelic language that hasn't been heard since

Bird,

Monk

& Coltrane played in smoke filled rooms

where small masses consumed Hope filled Notes

I Hopelessly don't understand

but i know i am connected

I Stand looking for the Hope

so that it may feed my soul and self destruct the bond between me & our madness

but yet I keep letting this feed barrel tell me that there is No More Beauty!!!

so I lust bullshit disguised by a fun house mirror that only reflects what I am perceived to be by only me...

(to be continued)

My Creative Me Created Me...

2011-01-25T11:53:00.000-08:00

I Live through the Pose I Create...
when the suns run dim and my words may no longer be read...

My Soul Sketches Sparks across My Heart
My Heart Provokes the Thoughts on my Mind
My Mind keeps my Soul Wound like an Old Pocket Watch...

My Soul is Timeless
My Heart is a Motor Forever Moving with No Need For External Fuel
My Mind Motivated by Constant Elevation
My Mind Alive & Navigating Mountains that are Forever Moving through a Universe of Dark Clouds which My Soul Rides Unbridled
My Soul... Galloping amongst Galaxies with a Heart Shaped Shield that is Re-Born with every New Breath
Every Rhythmic Beat of My Heart Bringing My Mind New Blood to Sip
My Mind Sipping & Slipping Charcoal Colored Thoughts Around My Soul that Begs to Be Wound Again & Again & Again!!!

Spark My Heart...
Provoke My Mind...
Wind My Soul...

I Live thru the Pose I Create for Creation is My Muse!!!

FHA to the Rescue!!!

2010-04-26T13:29:00.000-07:00

from a letter written to the Mortgage News Daily by Brian Montgomery Oct., 2009

There has never been a point in our nation’s history that better illustrates exactly why FHA and Ginnie Mae exist. During these uncertain economic times, their counter-cyclical role of ensuring adequate mortgage activity and liquidity has been necessary and vital.

FHA has saved close to one million sub-prime/Alt-A borrowers from possible financial ruin by allowing them to refinance into a safe and secure 30-year fixed rate mortgage. Another 2 million qualified borrowers (80% of them first-time homebuyers) have taken advantage of the declining house prices and historically low interest rates to purchase a home using FHA. FHA’s role has grown substantially from three percent of lending activity by dollar volume in 2006 to nearly 25 percent of all mortgages originated today. That massive uptick in volume occurred almost overnight beginning in spring 2008.

Through it all…. FHA has helped pump more than $400 billion of mortgage activity and liquidity into the market since 2008, while still managing to deliver a higher credit quality borrower whose average FICO score is 700.

One can only imagine how much worse our economy would be right now without the FHA. However, the growth of FHA in the past 18 months has understandably attracted a lot of attention. While the FHA did not take part in the housing boom, it is feeling its effects.

Reminder: FHA collects premiums from borrowers (revenue) and also pays out claims to lenders when loans go into default and foreclosure (outlays).

The FHA has undeniably tightened guidelines in an effort to help ensure a higher loan quality. Prospective borrowers must verify income and job history as part of a rigorous underwriting process.

As a reminder, I offer the following insight about the strategies the FHA is considering to ensure the market remains confident in the FHA’s risk management models:

* Tighten underwriting criteria
* Increase premiums
* Raise the down payment requirements above 3.5%
* Overlay a credit score cut-off

Looking forward it’s important for all of us to continue advocating for reforms that better ensure a vibrant, transparent, and sound mortgage marketplace. Current market conditions highlight the critical role of the private and public sectors in keeping mortgage credit flowing.

Living Over Surviving

2010-03-25T11:56:00.001-07:00

What was your mood when you awoken this morning?

Better question...
What mood did you let decide was going to control your day this morning?

The reason I asked this question was more retoricle than anything but the point is how do you let the choice of your moods every morning control your days events or attitude? Most of us do not realize how we choose the mood that we are in. We walk through life blaming everyone else for how we feel. We expect everyone else to cheer us up, stay in our good graces or to keep us out of a negative/bad mood. The fact is that if you are not happy it is because you are choosing not to be happy. It is all about outlook or perspective.

So often we crawl everyday of life looking at every task as something that we have to do instead of opportunities that we are blessed with.

Example...
Most mornings we awaken and say, "We HAVE to go to work." We very seldomly look at what a great opportunity we have in being of able body and mind to hold a job. We do the same things in many aspects of our lives weather it is dealing with our children, going grocery shopping, working out, reading anything besides a grocery store checkout tabloid headlines, even attending a family event or function. If we were to stop and put ourselves in a more positive mood about these daily task such as looking at everything as an oppotunity to do and be better, We can be in a Better Attitude about the things we do. Appreciate your job, you have one. Appreciate your children, they are a blessing. Love going to the grocery store, you have money to eat and we all love to eat right? Recognize your blessings while they are here and your mood will change drastically.

Today is the Day that the Lord has Made...

New World Order

2010-03-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

Last Year I discovered a new documentary film maker named Alex Jones. I was surprised to see that every comspiracy I had seen as truth he not only was aware of but was putting the facts to my theories. I strongly sugesst that you watch his videos...

"Obama Deception"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAaQNACwaLw

"EndGame"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-CrNlilZho

"Fall Of The Republic"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VebOTc-7shU&feature=related

"Fabled Enemies"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VebOTc-7shU&feature=related

We must end Social Security and the Federal Reserve...

Admittedly, I voted for Obama but if you know me then you know that it was strictly because he is half Black and never thought that he would even really bring any change.

If your not sure who you should listen to after viewing these videos, I suggest that you pay a little more attention to Rep. Ron Paul & 2004 and 2008 Presidential canidate Ralph Nader (Independent, Independence-Ecology, Peace and Freedom, Michigan Natural Law, Delaware Independent, Oregon Peace, New York Populist).

It Is Time For REAL CHANGE People...

Power To The People!!!

True Republicans Love Money & You have None...

2010-03-15T13:03:00.000-07:00

So over the last week I have been finding myself in conversations with several conservative Christian persons that claim to just not like President Obama. These individuals try to label their selves as such (individuals) but to me seem to be nothing more than "Tea Baggers" who are just unorganized. The difficulty is figuring out which is more dangerous, an ignorant ranters with no organization to hold them accountable before they man their soapboxes or a member of an organization that has no structure, educational higharchy, rules or regulations to govern their ignorant banter, rants and behavior.

Wait, let me slow down for a moment and back up this conversation. I do not wish to talk completely about the Tea Baggers. I will go into more depth about them in my next blog (I Promise)

I do want to talk about our everyday neighbors, our white lower to upper-middle class republican brothers and sisters who follow their party with no question. Now there are many Black and/or African-American people who also follow the Democratic Party with the same fever and reckless abandon as Republicans, who are also deceived by typical party politics but they also are not the topic of today’s conversation.

This last weekend I was speaking to a young republican male who could not even phantom the possibility of leaving or turning his back on his party. The major problem I was positioned with was trying to explain to him how this party is not really his. The Leaders of the GOP are not looking out for his best interest (after-all, money is the great motivator for an easily under-guestimated all of the politicians in America). I will admit that there are a few who really care and believe in the "American Dream" for All but mostly they reside on the smaller community level than in Washington D.C.

The Republican Party has completely pulled the wool over the eyes of its constituents. They have been lying to them for over a hundred years now. It began with using religion to gain supporters and followers (sounds familiar, they also used religion to justify American slavery and the mistreatment of women since the beginning of our countrys formation). Now they have resorted to and even more despicable tactic but one that is not new... FEAR!!!

The Republican Party has been leading its followers into believing that their awful President and his administration is driving are country into a Socialist state. Leaders and members of the party in Florida have left behind a little memo, a Republican National Committee memo found in a Boca Grande hotel reveals the GOP’s strategy of using fear to intimidate voters and mocks donors.

The memo - a Power Point presentation given at an RNC meeting in Florida in February - details the GOP’s plans for this year’s election cycle by luring “ego-driven” rich donors with promises of access and “tchochkes.” The more interesting declaration in the memo stated how to control and solicit the less financially fortunate members and donors with an aggressive campaign capitalizing on “fear” of President Barack Obama and a promise to "save the country from trending toward socialism."

*The strategy was detailed in a confidential party fundraising presentation, obtained by POLITICO.

Republicans claim that they need more tax breaks like the ones that were put into effect under the Reagan and Bush administrations. The outrageous part is that under the Obama administration taxes have been reduced for more than 95% Americans nationwide. The 5% that have not and are not going to be able to take advantage of these tax breaks are far wealthier than anyone we will be sitting down to dinner with you in the next several years and when I say "we", I mean from the upper-middle class, down to the poverty stricken persons residing in America's worst neighborhoods and projects.

I have also noticed that these same groups protest healthcare for everyone. The biggest claim made about not wanting healthcare for everyone is that it will make America a socialist society (like Switzerland, France or Canada). I will admit that healthcare for every man, woman and child is more of a socialist idealism but then again so is the police, fire, military, postal, trash, water and public education systems from kindergarten to tax funded state colleges (like U.C.L.A. & Penn State Univ. just to name a couple of the major ones). I do not understand how someone can argue with the astronomically and outrageously high numbers of people that pass away every year from the lack of healthcare. More people have died in the last year (2009) from the lack of basic healthcare than in the Katrina hurricane and the earthquakes in Haiti, China and Chile earthquake/tsunami combined.

"This My Block"

2010-03-15T07:13:00.000-07:00

This My Block but I know i don't own it,
but I've been standing on it for more days than I can stand to remember.
From September to August I'm hogging five dollar doesha sells,
dodging crooked cops and bailing over fences.
Ditching different demons and elements of danger.
Strangers of the night don't fight with fist.
Unload 50 round clips attached to auto-matic high-powered riffles.
Who's the blame when my survival henge on dealing Death?
Feeling stress turn to Anger.
Beware of the Gangsta!

This My Block,
and it stay hot with pimps and street walkers,
talking the sweetest words you ever heard.
Lips drip pancake syrup and molasses,
to ever player passing-
marriages are placed in danger.
Selling the creators finest creation for way less than it's worth.
It's like Love is Curse and Money is First.
This My Block,
and I protect it with twin clocks,
and won't stop til I drop like Tupac & Biggie.
In every city there's many different hoods,
but none quite like mine.
It's like I enjoy doing crime.
Light your hood up like the 4th of July.

This My Block
All that I got cause my pops ain't left stock for me
holding to street philosophy-
A Ghetto Socrates.
Tagging my rhymes inside your mind,
I paint vivid mental collages.
Ballin from the strenght of my spiritual wealth.
Seeking God's help in a living hell where a frail spine won't last long
strong and tall is how this Soul-Jah is fit,
Built for this.
Equipped with the soul of saint,
the heart of a solo lion controlling his pride,
like a wise old owl I stalk the block nocturnal.
In a race full of hurdles,
I'm steeple chasing greatness.
trying to maintain and remain sane in these minimal wage occupations

This My Block where you gotta have patience.
If you want to make it to your next breath.
Fuck a S.A.T. Test.
They're testing my chin and my wind.
Begin my day born into sin.
Hung-Over from sipping gin
Never Sober,
I'm Power Drunk,
Intoxicated

This My Block where anybody can get faded.
This My Block where even the strongest don't make it.
This My Block and I'll never trade it.
No matter how famous my poetry make me,
or this dirty industry hate me.
I'm gotta keep reppin my ghetto celebrity status til I hit Heaven,
and rest in the luxury of a thug mansion.

This My Block where I gotta keep expanding the minds of the young children.

This my block that I gotta stay here and keep building.

This my block that I gotta stay here and keep building.

This My Block & I'm Gonna Stay Here & Keep Building It.

"THIS MY BLOCK"

~~~UNCLE SALAAM~~~

written: twenty "O" three

inspired by: Nas "1 Mic" & urban areas everywhere

"Ghetto American Idol/Street Disciple"

*~*~* Happy Valentine's Day *~*~*

Happy Valentine's Day

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~~~ ***let ballads free*** ~~~

*** "Why Am I Arguing?" ***

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He is a Real King...

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Implode...

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Imagine

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We Witness!!!

Thighz (written in 2007)

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Kiss

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daydreamer

in the daylight with a flashlight

at first thought

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New World Order

True Republicans Love Money & You have None...

"This My Block"

~~* Happy Valentine's Day ~~*

~~~ Where Did You Shop Today? ~~~

~ let ballads free ~

* "Why Am I Arguing?" *