A Few Things I have Found Online Lately that are Hilarious

My Motto
LoL

This Is Real
It Is All Worth It!!!

The Motto to Understanding Salaam

My Fav Quote frm Jr. High

Just Thought this was Gorgeous

"Can I Live"

"Its Not Hard for Me, I Live In God & He Lives in
Me. God is Love & He needs Me to be Love so I can Live."

"Ur Torah Taught Me!!!"

Religon...Un-Real Reality
my spirituality move me constantly
...360 degrees

my soul speaks beyond belief
I am born the sun of knowledge
traveled with Jesus while he taught from the Torah

so why ask me why...
I seek the same...with apostles I speak the same

My Confidence is My Game!!!

"Love 4 Sale" ... 2006 Verse

simple thoughts of you bring forth the biggest grins, smiles and cheers

it is like i have no self-control while my mind steers all thoughts in your direction

minute by minute

hour by hour

day after day

your heaven, but only a mile away

and i am running to be in your presence

traveling at the speed of sound... the speed of light... the speed of love...

crushing & busting the the concrete into crumbs beneath my feet

for you...complete me like my own arms and legs

without you, i am No Less of a Man but i am always feeling better knowing that you are there

that you are alive and useful to me in my life

important like oxygen and when i think of not having you i can't breathe

never wanting leave your side

never being ever to erase you from my mind

my soul screams out for your touch... the way you smile shines on my rainy days... and your eyes brightens the darkest rooms

i am consumed in your warmth and beauty, truly seduced by just thoughts of you...

DAMN... I wish Love Was For Sale...

i'd never buy another pair of pants or shoes

my closet and dresser... car trunk and freezer would be full of nothing more than old receipts for all my "Love" purchases

all purposes i have for waking in the morning would change...

spare change would build towards goals while i walk cold dark alleys stung-out looking to spend every dime, nickel and penny on your "Love"

"I Mean"

i am a pimp playa

i mean... i am not anymore

i mean i am a night stalker, talkin slick with heavy chap stick covered lips, licking ur soul and holding ur emotions captivated with visionary energy, and an access granted by God...

mama i mean u no harm...

i mean... i wanna meet ur leader, the head of ur household, the 1 that showed u how to be the Queen, who's gained my undivided devotion & undivided appreciation...

i mean... my attention served like subpoenas, appearance presented b4 his magistrate, while i pray for a long-term sentence of spending my life trapped in ur world...

i mean... u r the definition of everything i have searched high and low for, became a man for, adore all things that u are... unique

i mean... or should i say...

today feels like the rebirth of Church, a new and exciting Preacher whispering words of encouragement tickling my my earlobe... rejuvenating my soul and awakening my mind to to the next level of consciousness

i mean understand my levels of expression, 1st lesson, i am not running game, I Am Game!!!

i mean i am what Magic Johnson and Larry bird is to basketball and not at all do i plan on walking away...

i am just rising to the next level with U

i mean... or let me say... everything i tell you is Truth and U are everything I ever wanted and will ever need...

I Mean in Us I do Believe!!!

Perfect Pair

forgive me when i stare

but

sometimes I can't help myself

initial witness

hypnotic gaze

dazed by your magnificence & marvelous flesh

I mean the brilliance of your breast

beautiful substainers of life

Christ-like

Pisces 2 fish, the perfect pair

natural thirst cure from the earth

pacifier for a prince's pleasure

we submit prone to simply suckle @ your gifts

Gorgeous!!!

forgive me when i stare

mind slips and imagines bare skin

abused & bruised in purple blossoms resembles flowers from a corsage carelessly pinned in a savage haste

male chauvinist dates force estrogen taste desire full circle fulfillment

forgive me when i stare in adoration

but I do promise patience

and a vow to

never mis-use you

You Are An Idiot!!!

Apparently it is possible to work 40+ hours a week and still live below the poverty line. It also appears to be a great idea to tell your children that they are the best in the world, then medicate the hell out of them instead of actually working with them as their parent. Being a street whore and/or pimp is greater than being an A+ student. Finally what has to be the most ridiculous, is that more Americans receive their social/political information, opinions and understandings from hot topic debate, news shows.


Everyday I tune into CNN, Fox News (the worse) & a host of others to see shows where a group of talking head, individuals that get along very well, will yell, scream & argue with one another like it is a death match of enemies. The truly unfortunate part is that most highly opinionated people I speak with on the regular basis are not receiving their information directly from these shows but rather from another person who has spoken with another person. I thought opinions were like assholes and that everyone has one. I am now realizing that many people share the same ignorant regurgitated idealism because one person conceived the thought and impregnated every other idiots mind with it.


Now we all share thoughts in one way or another. You have sciences such as mathematics, physics and anatomy which are universal throughout the world. You have religion and psychology which a million books have been written about both and seem to be two of the most popular degree bases for institutions of higher learning. Opinions are personal but unfortunately everyone is sharing the same brain when it comes to forming their opinions.



I have an example I would like to share. There was a time when white Americans believed that Native and Black Americans were genetically inferior. We were labeled as savages and cannibals. It was not just a thought but absurd opinions that were spread as fact. Native Americans and Blacks suffered through great injustice because of what a certain few thought. Today we now have a better understanding. People have grown and now understand that ethnic make up does not determine your mental or physical capability. Unfortunately, we have found new reasons to all share the same opinions.


Figure out your own path people. Learn from others but understand that Politics and Religion are multi Hundred-Trillion dollar industries. Every minute of everyday there is a Genius Con Man attempting to Hi-jack your opinion, Conservative and Liberal alike.

"Distractions... Detours... & Drama!!!"

What are the distractions in your life?

Where are the detours taking you?


Who brings the drama to your world?

& My final question...
Is why do you allow these situations to knock you off your path?

Today I was examining what is it that causes me not to succeed and I found that it was All Me. I am the biggest Distraction, my mind wondering poses the worse and longest detours from my path to success and I am responsible for all the Drama I face monthly, weekly & daily.

I was told earlier this week that I over-analyze things. I of course disagree but this statement is not entirely incorrect. My problem is that I over-analyze the wrong things. I spend entirely to much time worried about things that do not matter to the success of my life. Whether I am allowing my mind to journey off and dream of sports and fantasy teams or fashion and music, I realize that these things are not the best ways for me to spend my time. Even social media plays a huge part in the distractions' detours and dramas in my path.


Today I will spend less time worried about entertainment and more time concentrating on lifting my brothers and sisters consciousness and awareness. I will speak Life into existence and hold my tongue when Death tickles the tip of it.

I do not want anyone to get me wrong. I am an entertainer and I love to play. I will always smile and I will always have something on my Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, colorful mind. My goal is to remain more focus and live out the reason for my existence.


We should all find more time to dismiss the distractions, ignore the detours and cancel our subscriptions for negative drama.



Peace

"How Patriarchy Damages Women and Girls"

I would like to thank Karlie Hustle for her contribution to humanity. I appreciate anytime I can find such an astounding, mouth dropping essay posted on Facebook and obviously had to re-post here in my blog. I hope it touches you and provokes thought and understanding the same way it did for me today. Thanks Karlie Hustle

"How Patriarchy Damages Women and Girls"

by Karlie Hustle

What is patriarchy?

Patriarchy is the social system which places men as authority figures over women and children. The notion that "the man is the head of the house" sets up a hierarchy whereby one member of a family is considered superior to the others.

Institutionalized entitlement on behalf of men combined with fear on behalf of women is what sets the patriarchy ship to sail. Unfortunately, without equality, no household (and no nation, for that matter) can flourish in a healthy manner.

The United States is a country systematically run by way of patriarchal norms. Little girls are socialized from infancy that being married and having babies is what "good women" do. "Find yourself a man" is the task we are given almost immediately. The construct that we are nothing without a man is so ingrained into our psychology that we will often compromise ourselves and the lives of our children just to hang on to one.

I walk down these Brooklyn streets and see female toddlers, barely able to walk themselves, pushing dolls in strollers. We are sending these children the wrong message. At three years old, isn't it a bit perverse to insinuate that baby girls have nothing other to prepare for than eventual motherhood?

Naively, we all seem so boggled as to why teen pregnancy is such an issue. Aside from the lack of education on how to protect oneself from unwanted pregnancy and STIs, the idea of getting knocked up is somewhat attractive to young girls. And why wouldn't it be? Moms and dads, can you really be mad when your 14-year-old daughter announces her pregnancy after encouraging her to be a caretaker for doll babies her entire childhood?

The first step is owning up to our own neurosis. The sickening mind games we play with ourselves and then pile on top of our young girls are centuries in the making, but at some point we must step back and look at the damage we are causing to future generations.

To insist that having a man and being a mother are the only two truly acceptable options for women and girls is as unfair as it is damaging. To infuse young female minds with the idea that they are nothing without the validation from a male counterpart is to continue a very damaging cycle. This hamster wheel includes (but is not limited to) domestic violence, child abuse, teen pregnancy and the spread of STIs and STDs.

Patriarchy silences women and children. Until the girls are safe, none of us are safe.

We have got to do a better job of giving women options beyond the hetero-normative, patriarchal mainstays. We are losing our girls left and right, both in mind and in physical body.

I have nothing against marriage nor motherhood. At 34-years-old, I still haven't deemed myself ready for either, but that doesn't mean I won't do both at some point. I am not here to be subversive to the idea of families and children. All I'm asking is for us to consider giving our girls a shot at other identities.

I implore you--if your daughter insists on pushing something on wheels down the street--get her a little cart of books instead.

Not Sure

Why

do

Our

Teachers

in

America

get

Zero

Respect?

Better Question...

How is it that I always hear parents saying things like, "We are doing everything we can to help little John or Suzie" or "I am not sure what is left that I can do to help lil John or Suzie." Honestly, I do not understand this mindstate and truly can not believe that someone can be doing all they can when they have yet to explore every option.

I just want to say that if you are to ever be the best parents ever, then you must truly do everything you can to be the best parent ever.

Out of My Mind Just In Time II

I really think Erykah Badu should remake the movie
"Mahogany"

I just watched it for the 1st time about 2 weeks ago and thought it was fabulous. So many things Diana Ross did as a model in the movie and I think it was written brilliantly. I just wanted to share that tit bit of my opinion before you began to enjoy this beautiful video

Peace

OUT MY MIND JUST IN TIME 2 from Creative Control on Vimeo.

"VOLUPTUOUS"

Big Body Abundant

Thick & Voluptuous

Major Great Goddess

Dressed in Stars

with the Sun as a Crown

Bigger than Life

Twice as Tight as any Skinny Model on TV

She Is...

A Phenomenal Full-Figured Feminine Pharaoh

Ultimate

Sick Vicious Hips

Thighs Outrageous

Curves Out of Control

I Dream of this Queen

I Fiend for this Queen

Big Body Abundant

Thick & Voluptuous

I see she will be my Full-Fig Supreme Queen

Social Networking vs. Social Action!!!

Before any sweeping indictments are made & anyone begins to give way to confusion' I would like to state, "I Love my Facebook & Twitter and I would go nuts without virtual Social Networking."

Now at the time I am making this statement, I also feel compelled to share with you that Social Networking is destroying the morality and accountability of our youth. It is creating an hedonistic generation of self idolization. It is promoting desires of instant gratification which lead to an inability to control any instincts where patience and rational thinking would normally kick in.

Now I do not wish to jump on any blame band-wagons and try to convince you all how much you must hate the internet and social network. I am just asking you to observe the pre-teens, teenagers & young adults around you. I am asking you to make the necessary realizations that their lifestyle options are incredibly different than ours were.

Today's youth (18 & under and even some that are 18 to 21) have no idea about the falling of the Berlin Wall. Our children have not spent many hours with a wristwatch on and I am sure has limited experience writing in cursive. Today's children under 21 have never used a typewriter or rotary phone. They are not familiar with Dr. Kevorkian, Dan Quayle or Rodney King and Bart Simpson has been around 4 years longer than anyone graduating high school in 2012. Finally' the World Wide Web has been their primary study tool since birth.

Now today's youth have an external instant orgasm button connected directly to their spine and it is burning out before they are the age of 21.

With this knowledge, I need every adult to understand something. Our youth will never know what hard work is. We have more spoiled and self entitled children skipping through the states than at any other time in our history. Our parents fought for our rights, we have taking advantage of the gains and now our children sit around, do nothing and have no clue of real struggle. In the last 50 years we have lost our #1 worldly status that we still cling to so dearly today. We are living in falsity because America is not #1 and it is our fault because we have become entitled.

I remember when you worked for everything you had and if you different have it, you saved up to get it. Now today's youth have an external instant orgasm button connected directly to their spine and it is burning out before they are the age of 21.

Now do not get me wrong, I do believe that every child is special. However, we as adults must help direct these youth into understanding positive ways to be special but also help them understand the difference between the times to be an individual and when to evoke teamwork.

We as adult Americans wish to blame everyone else but ourselves for economic setbacks but fail to ever take responsibility for our own misfortunes. I know I am not free of guilt and I am not casting the stones. I am however saying that today's youth need to take more responsibility than we have and transform their social networking into social action and changing not just America but the World...

"Nature & Nurture: Let Us Create Our Children in Our Image"

I have spent countless hours with "At-Risk" and Juvenile Delinquent teenagers and preteens, and the one thing they all seem to have in common is that there is a parent (and in some cases both parents) who suffer from the same emotionally crippling disabilities as they do. Stubbornness, Disrespect, Anger and Addiction in our youth comes from Nature and Nurture. We pass these traits along to them at birth and foster them along as are children grow into young adult stage in our households.


When we make decisions based on our emotions we're doing the same exact thing we ask our children not to do. We must first identify our problems and one of our most greatest problems we as adults/parents face is that we don't see how making emotionally based decisions are so bad. We have to work through this important issue before we can help them with theirs. We must correct our dysfunction before we can help them with theirs.

I see many of our youth standing as warriors today. They wish to conquer the world just as we did. They also wish to have fun just as we did. Their difference is that we knew we wanted to be the greatest and had great potential that many us cultivated constantly. Today "Social Networking" has replaced "Social Action" and it is destroying are youth.


Everyday I find myself explaining to parents how it is more important to our youth to be Famous today than any other time in history. Through technology our youth are fostering a false sense of identity. A false sense of self love and self respect. Being cool for them is how many pokes, likes and post/comments they get in a day. Now couple that with an inherent desire to rebel against authority, to cheat, to self medicate and even worse, to step on and degrade someone next to them so that they may appear bigger.

America has always eaten her young but now she is regurgitating the half dead, undigested zombie minds back out to replace the next generation of American leaders.

We are America & We have Grown Sick!!!

Love: Selfish or Selfless?

So I was reading a quote today that jogged a few old thoughts and questions about my philosophy of "Being In Love" loose.

My #1 question would be, is Pure & True Love Selfish or Selfless? My #2 question would be, does Unconditional Love really exist? The final question I struggle with is, can you love someone more than you love yourself?

Being that Love is an emotion, based on personal philosophy and since philosophy is not a science, I am not in anyway attempting to make such declaring statements that I want to sway anyone to believing I have a PhD in any science (I am just an highly opinionated, college drop-out, who has learned and applied experience "in the streets" lol).

1st things 1st... If we are all to believe it is unhealthy to love someone more than you love yourself, then love can never be selfless or unconditional. Although, if you believe in unconditional love then it would be nothing to believe that your love is selfless and unconditional.

Oddly enough, I believe in God but I do not believe in unconditional love. I do believe that love is selfish and I do believe that it is harmful to love someone else more than you love yourself. I think it would be only fair if I added that I am one of the most selfless and giving people that I know. I was originally raised in a family, home, church, school and community that instilled a philanthropy value and lead by extreme example. I turned my back from time to time on this philosophy upon reaching my early 20s and still occasionally struggle with a self-preservation instinct which is natural human instinct.

Today I look back on the many great and average relationships I have experienced over my 38 years on this planet. I have loved, been in love and been loved by a many of beautiful, gorgeous women (inside-n-out). I have chosen my mates based variety of different reasons but one has always remained steadfast. I have always wanted to be treated like a King and was always determined to treat them as my Phenomenal Feminine Pharaoh, the Queen of All Dreams.

Now not all women from my past have been treated the same. My levels of compromise have always varied individual to individual and when I reflect on the differences the reasons all remain same. How did she treat me is the only variation. When it all came down to it, my happiness was the most important thing to me and determined the level of my compromise.

In short, I can not say that i believe i can ever love another human being more than myself and to be in love is to still think selfish.

Uncle Salaam's "Bizarre Ride Through My Bright Black Mind"

Good Day Gorgeous Supporters

& Active Interest Takers into the Thoughts & Visions of an Eclectic, Florescent, Electric, Super-Sized Circus known as...

Uncle Salaam's: "Bizarre Ride Through My Bright Black Mind"

Today is Tuesday, August 23, 2011, I am in Hemet, CA.

I have been working on an in-depth & honest resume since 7:30am and it is after 11:30am and I have a long way to go. Needless to say, this is extremely boring, which is the obvious reason for my break.

I have shared quite a few text messages with a many different people this morning (65% of them women). Through the course of my electronic transmissions with these various sisters, I have found out a few things about myself and my future. I have a hard time trusting women today. I am still the "Hopeless Romantic" from previous post omissions but today I realize that I'm not as Happy to be such. It is like today I realized something new and very dramatic.

Today I realized that I am a "Hapless Romantic"

I saw my desires for what they are. I noticed that I dream so hard of "Love" and "Being In Love" that I do not take the time to respect, develop nor work on Love the way I should. I am such a fan of written words that I ignore speech and actions most times. Tell me u Love Me in a text message and I forget that how irritated I may have been the previous hour. Tell me that I mean more to you than anything and I will forget that your running a hour late for dinner. Tell me that I am the Greatest and I might let you join me in a Vertical Joyride...(lol)

Seriously speaking, I am just saying that I know I must decrease my falling speed. To be honest, I think my problem is not that I keep falling so quickly but more jumping over the edge with no bungee-cord. I need to walk into Love. I need to enjoy the Journey as well as the Destination.

"this time tho (keepin it real)

I'm staying on point like Bobby Flay in a BBQ Throwdown

& I'm Guarding My Grill"

Okay Wonderful People, I need to conclude this trip and continue with my resume writing. Try to have an Awesome Day without any further Interruptions from My Bright Black Mind.

I...C...U

Eye Ran the World
& Realized that Day Dreams aren't for Kings or Queens...

so Eye...

Killed the Thoughts a of Young Prince,

Eye...

Neglected My Physical & Emotion,

Eye...

Cleansed My Eye upon the Sight of a Phenomenal Feminine Pharaoh,
Marched to the Top of the Gaza Pyramid,
Spread My Soul,

& Re-Birthed Myself Morally New for You

Come Kiss My Lips & Make My Blood Boil

the taste of Cranberry & Chocolate Chips caress my lips when I wish for kisses frm the sweetest victory after an argument beyond winning

in the beginning we shared over cooked creative disasters
& still smiled because the presence of an earth maiden, archer firing flaming arrows was a present that blessed me with a bulls-eye every time

& my gift
it was ur lips when the sunset & the moon called like hip-hop MCs in the 80s

Yes
Yes
Ya'll
to the beat ya'll

we are...
on one rhythm
one sound & one accord
with one heart beating I can't ignore that way my music skips when ur sweet kiss is flavored with cranberries, white chocolate chips & macadamia nuts

touch me
as I clutch u
Come Kiss My Lips & Make My Blood Boil

Saturday Night Live on My Desert Island aka Up The Hill

There are not many things that I can think of that are worse than being in an argument with someone u care about at 1am, them falling asleep and your wide awake with all your thoughts because you took a nap at 7:30pm.

Unfortunately this is where I am finding myself right now. It is not the worse possible thing that could be happening to me in life. I mean I could be dealing with the lost of a loved one or my house could be on fire (although I am not a home owner and currently living under my parents roof at 38 years of age....Damn). I think I have made my point of things that could be much worse though, so let us move forward.

My biggest problem right now is that I have not learned how to redirect my negative thoughts into a positive direction all the time without flaw. I can perform this task numerous times throughout an average day so that I do not get trapped into trying to stop the inevitable from becoming real. In other words, "If you think it, then it shall be be real." This is a simple quote that I believe and hold whole-heartedly too. It is Universal Law, I guess, you could say. How about this, we'll just call it "Faith Manifested" and I have no desire to think anything that I do not want to become real.


So I have been experiencing every type of warfare lately. I have fought with myself spiritually, emotionally, rationally & physically. Most of these wars are fought on the battleground over nicotine and my desires to smoke a cigarette. Addiction is cruel and I am in combat with a cruel enemy.

Okay, back to my Faith Manifested. The last month plus (July & August) has been particularly difficult for me. I have had a birthday, found myself in the ER and completely lost my financial and physical independence. I am currently residing with my parents in Victorville, CA aka the High Desert aka "Up the Hill." It is not the greatest situation but at least I have a roof over my head.

One of the many great battles I must endure by being up the hill is not being close to my friends. It is not easy being less than a hour away from the city but feeling like you might as well be in a different country. It almost feels like I have been abandoned or banished to an desert island, where the humanoid occupants have only half their adult teeth & use grunting sounds for speech. An Island where the inhabitants constantly question my desire to willfully make a residence here. I can only look them in their wide, red desert eyes and say... "I have No Idea Why any of Us, do what we Do."

Hopefully within the next 45 days I can conclude this excursion and make my way back to L.A. County. Maybe the city of Pomona shall be my next stop or at least Upland, Rancho Cucamonga or Fontana which are also always nice choices. As for this weekend I shall sit with this computer and keyboard, focus on Facebook and dream with reckless abandon.

Victorville is Not Bringing It

On the 1st of this month I moved to the High Desert (Victorville, CA) and it has been Hell...

That move was made on Monday and today is Friday, which means I have been here for 5 days but one of which I spent back down the hill in Rancho. I am struggling to keep my sanity in an area that has zero cultural diversity and lacks any type of entertainment. The fact that I am making a real effort to stop smoking is not helping and also lacking steady employment has not made my time up here any easier.

I try to see the brighter side of life such as on August 16th I will be taking a test for a Social Services Eligibility Worker for the County of San Bernardino. This is about the only positive thing I have going in my life right now. My big problem is that I keep having this "Murphy's Law"thoughts that some how that one positive is going to go down the drain. Some how what can go wrong, inevitably will.

It is very much a feeling of incarceration being in this house everyday. Someone is always telling me what i can and cannot do. I have designated meal and shower times and I receive zero visitors.

Daily I attempt to work on the formation of my non-profit organization but it is hard to focus on something that feels so far away. Especially since I have no idea what I am doing. I am not familiar with any of the paperwork that I am looking at. I've only heard the terminology that is being used in passing and there is no one to help me understand any of this.

I think my biggest problem is that I have always lived one moment at a time and now that has come back to haunt me. I have experienced so many wonderful things in life, a life lived like it was all a dream. I have always had the biggest heart and thought of others just as much as I thought of myself (favorite quote, "I am a Socialist with a Capitalist Migraine"). This has seem to have comeback to bite me in my big black behind. People that I have called friends are no longer there. I have a couple of people but for the most part I am a man alone with my eccentric esoteric thoughts.

I truly have struggled through-out the years with always having a different thought pattern, discernment, reason or rationale from the average person. Although, I must admit, for the most part I loved being different. It wasn't easy when I was young and still in school. It has not been easy in the work force. The time where I have loved it is being an Entertainer.

I have graced many of stage in my days of entertainment glory. From plays/musicals to stand-up comedy. From Hip-Hop concerts to Poetry readings, high school talent shows to the Staples Center where my World Champion LA Lakers call home and everything in-between. I do keep true to the belief that my days of writing, producing and performing have not concluded. Which is when it all comes down to it... My Writing is All I Have & My Writing Will Bring Me Through the Fire!!!