& now a few words from Gandhi

Speak the Truth Even when the Truth is Inconvenient...

















You can Never Stop Reality from being Real!!!

Never Let Your Emotions Get the Best of You

}}}---> The Valentine's Day Massacre After-Party <---{{{

lock

cocked

& ready to rock

popped 2 shots through the heart & stop blood flow

she hate me but don't know

every time she tell me...she loves me...it ain't me

& lately...I don't even know me

so now I sit lonely...surrounded with a wall of foolish pride

I hide behind true lies like a bad actor in an independent college film

my collaborating will...still hold tight to thoughts of holding you

I'm holding through the thick with no thin

caught by wicked wind...blew through the cavity the heart use to reside in

blown out by an assassin lying behind eyes of passion

I'm asking what happened to the smiles & laughing

now frowns & gnashing teeth incarcerate a tongue to no longer speak

Silence! slice the night chill with heavy breath

this is the death of a salesman

heart spilling desire cross concrete & asphalt

"Its Your Fault!!!"

pointed fingers implicated dying body

revenge is sweet but all I taste is the bitter backside my own lies

blown back in my own face

Taste! sweet revenge served cold

dark hole blowing heavy heat

cavity in my chest gargle speech

Please! don't leave me lying in lies on grief street...

*~*~* Happy Valentine's Day *~*~*

My Favorite Song

So I am sure that rather your reading this today (02/14/2012) or your skipping back through my catalog, hopefully you realize that today's Valentine's Day. I normally don't celebrate Holidays but I just had to share this song with the whole world. Erykah Badu is one of My Top 3 Favorite Artist (my top female artist hands down, guaranteed).

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlbBdXsTC8

~+~ Not Just Another Doctor Visit ~+~

This morning I had a doctor's appointment and got wonderful news. I found out that my past 3 month average blood sugar reading was tremendously lower. He also informed me that my blood pressure and renal failure (kidneys) were doing a significant amount better. This blew my socks completely off.

It is amazing to receive such great news after the last several visits I have had with the doctor since July 1st (see post: "Morality in the Making"). Today, every conversation my doctor had with me was began with a magnificent smile and met with even more marvel and celebration on my part.

While speaking with the doctor, I instantly thought of everyday over the last 3 to 6 months that I have held back and pushed forward with my bland diet. Everyday I decided to respect that diet, get off my fat behind and workout. Not just all the times I had to pass on all my favorite snack and sugary goodies (I really miss the ice cream, chocolate sandwich cookies and cupcakes), but the menu really sucks when you have to cut out all the carbs, sodium, potassium, starch and sugar. Now I have not been perfect, I love eating but I had to show restraint.

Interesting enough, many would ask me about my food choices. I mostly still ate in public like there was nothing wrong. Seriously, could anyone imagine me only eating boiled, skinless, boneless, under-seasoned chicken breast every single day. The changes I made were drastic but they were not always consistent or constant. I have just been determined to make my diet better. A few less double cheeseburgers or grande nachos and more grill chicken salads & flat bread veggie wraps.

My journey of better health and a longer life has in no way ended. Although, it is awesome to know that my dedication to making my situation better has seen positive signs. I can not do it all in one day but with the help of my great spirit to succeed... I Will Stay Determined To Make My Life Different!

I Love You All & Thanks for Reading

My Family

Eco-Mania Wrapped in the Pathology of Obsession

I have been called a navel-gazing, self-absorbed, arrogant intellectual elitist. I have also been referred to as a self-involved egomaniac and a self-preoccupied, pathological cult leader determined to always prove I'm right. Some have said I am a socialist with a self-centered capitalist agenda and others like to say I am a narcissist trapped in a fat body suit. To all of these sweeping indictments I can only respond with the proclamation of; "Yes, I Am!!!"

I have lived an exciting and event-filled life which has shown me a great many things. I've experienced lessons which have been immediately imperative and others that have taken 10/20 years to reveal their ultimate greatness. I've had teachers, gurus, leaders, preachers and peers that have played influential roles in shaping the man you see today. I've also conceived and manifested a million original thoughts (some sparked by what I have seen or heard and others which appear to be purely self motivated from situations which are unique to only me).

I have never taken an IQ test, however I know that my ability to create poetic concepts and my advanced problem solving skills make me more than a simple Philistine.

I am a man that loves people and I stay dedicated to helping those who cannot help themselves. I have a huge bleeding heart for today's young people. I constantly find myself contemplating how the youth of today are journeying in a first-class seat aboard a societal ship of dysfunction being capsized by a super storm of hedonism known as the Internet and televisions with over 400 channels.

I think of what we have seen when we were children. We had constant inter-action with neighborhood peers, parents teachers and coaches. There was constant team activities and recreation where we learned how to "get-a-long" and get the job done as a group.

I became an adult and continued to grow in the attributes of community. I see many peers from my childhood or just the same age as myself who have seemed to abandon these same characteristic properties. We as a society have become so self-preoccupied with constant meta-physical orgasmic fulfillment that our children only know this to be the first and foremost goal of life.

Ponder this hypothetical for a moment...

If your on body there was a small button which produced a quick & immediate, 10 second, organically euphoric intoxication, a total mental state of ecstasy, elation, exhilaration, rapture and rhapsody, how often would you push it? Seriously, imagine a small button located on your forward-outer thigh. It could be perfectly placed at arms length and so you could secretly manipulate it while simply having your hands in tyour pockets. No one would know, there would be no revealing or identifying expressions in your body language or face. You could have a 10 second Orgasm and No One would be the wiser. How often would you push it?

Now imagine your children who completely lack discipline and how many times in a day do you think they would be on top of this button. How many times a hour do you think they would push this button to the point of needing a new button or hard wire replacement? If you don't think it would be a dramatic incline from how an adult might choose to abuse this button, then think about this for a moment. Drug use in intermediate schools are higher today than 20 years ago [1]. Single parent homes and pregnancy outside of marriage rates rise everyday [2] & [3]. America's education levels are drastically falling every year [4]. We are a country and society that are Morally, Artistically and Mentally Bankrupt. Now if it could be made easier for our children to disconnect momentarily from reality, how often do you think they would take advantage of it?

The aforementioned can only be explained as; Hedonism: *the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life... also described as a school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good.

Today our youth have role-models that are gaining immense capital from teaching all the wrong values (i.e., The Kardashians, Lil Wayne, Tosh 2.0, etc...). The worst part is that even if it is our very own children in our homes are not partaking in these forms on mind controlled entertainment, their friends, peers and schoolmates are. We must stay vigilant in finding ways to combat the ills and balance the scales that mass media inflicts hourly. I am not saying that we have to ban the Internet or satellite television but find ways of rewarding today's youth for picking up a book other than Twilight or Us Magazine.

~+~ The Poor/Rich Man Experience ~+~

Today I was surfing Facebook and came across a friend's status which pulled at my heart strings. It was a very ironic situation because at the same time I was thinking how I need to write a blog on Philanthropy which could be contributed to by the voice of another but was not sure how to go about this. Of Course like lighting in a bottle I was struck and now here I am.

This was my Friend, Former Roommate, Previous Musical Artist Collaborator & Godly Brother Mike Butta's Experience:

"Got out the gym and was walking into fresh and easy to buy some fruit .....a young lady stopped me and seemed like she was going to ask for money so I was about to walk a lil faster and pay her no attention until I saw her kids and she asked me can I help feed her kids.......so I got them some pizza....but with saying that people think they have it rough and shit .....naw its not rough until your begging someone to feed your kids player."

I would like to personally thank Mike Butta for sharing such a heart warming story with us. So many times I open Facebook & Twitter to only see hundreds of post about sports, reality shows and the "who shot john" rumors that have zero significance in the growth of are future and the futures of our children.

Mike Butta...

that was a great thing you have done today, especially in this economy where most of us can use a little help.

"Conversation with Mystery Lady, Etta James"

In the summer of 1999, I was listening to a gorgeous, sultry & husky rhythm & blues voice while cleaning my pool hall in Upland, CA. I started this day out alone but after an hour or so, I was joined by a few employees and pool hall regulars, all under the age of 21. One in particular, a 18 year old employee, approached me and asked, "Who was this we were listening to?"Now this is were everything takes a twist from the norm because before I could otter an answer an 5 foot 9 inch, 16 year old blonde responded, "Mystery Lady: Songs of Billie Holiday" by Etta James. Needless to say my mouth dropped, I was totally stunned that a woman so young could so quickly show her familiarity with such a great (but 8 year old) album.

I realized that this conversation must go further and I have to explore the depths of this young lady's blues history. I would ask a questions and she would respond with the same answer, "I Love Etta James Voice." It didn't matter what I asked or who I was talking about, she some how related her answer and spun it back into the direction of Etta James.

After an hour of conversation which started with me looking at a young, hard rock, hip-hop, skateboarding, Daddy's Lil Southern Cali Girl, left me staring into the eyes of what not just I will described as a cool young woman but I also realized how much one artist can change the impression you have in every person. I do not remember the young lady's name but I can not think of Etta James without thinking of my friend and blues peer for life.

Etta James, At Last, You Will Be Greatly Missed...

"I want to be loved for who I am, not what I can provide"

“I want a woman who wants me, not one who needs me. I want her to love me for me. I can tell [when] a woman is just interested in the externals, which in my book are the equivalent of being in love for money, appearances, or out of desperation. I’ve dated women who were more into those three [things] than into [who I am as a person]. I don’t want to be looked at like I’m a bank, a daddy on demand, or a means to an end of any kind.” The takeaway lesson here is that men are looking for an authentic connection and really notice its absence.

“I’d rather have a real woman who is into me than some idealized version… who wants me to be Ken to her Barbie.”

More Holiday Generosity

I would like to personally thank all those who gave whatever they could afford to those less fortunate this holiday season. Rather your girt was money, a small unwrapped toy/present, and especially those who gave their time. If you feel that you like you might have missed your opportunity or maybe you just forgot, I would like to remind you that the season is not over and many can use your help right now.

There are countless teen children in our foster system did did not receive a gift this year. Many only desire simple things such as brushes, hair ties, under garments, deodorant, body sprays and lotions.

I am sure if these items found there way to your local church (of any denomination) or local non-profit group home, that our precious teens would not hold it against you that they came a little late. I know a few of you got target & Walmart Gift Cards. Share $9

Lets Give Together

Brothers & Sisters

Holiday Food Extravaganza!!!

OK...
Now it is time to tell the story of why I Love the Holidays. I think anyone that knows Salaam (me) would know that I am very big on Family. My motto is an oldie but goody, "Eat, Drink & Be Merry".

This years menu is not yet complete. I have enjoyed many wonderful meals with many wonderful people. Although, there are a couple I have yet to receive, so Z's Savory Cuisine is going on blast.

Desires:

Gumbo

Jambalaya

Prime Rib

These are 3 Holiday Classics I can not live without, so expect a call from me...

Z's Savory Cuisine.

Z's Savory Cuisine is my Favorite Full Service Catering located in Glorious & Gorgeous, Sunny Southern California.

click here for more details about Z's Savory Cuisine

*~*~*~* Where Did You Shop Today? *~*~*~*

It is Saturday December 24th - Christmas Eve. I had to pick up a couple of items from the grocery store. Of course, all I could think of was how chaotic this mission would prove to be. To my surprise, things turns out a little different than you might imagine.

My mother told me that there was a sale on eggs and cheese (2 of the 3 items on my necessity list) at a store that was tad bit further than my usually one. The store was Von's. I do not like Von's at all but to be honest, fortunately it turned out to be a great trip. I noticed something about Von's customers. They are Pretentious beyond all reproach. This very sad notion actually played to my favor. The Von's Club Card carrying members do not like holidays. They were not shopping for in town guest. They were not planning for pie preparation or slow cooking a roast. They were buying expensive and beautiful bottle of wine, champagne and Martinelli's Apple Cider.


It was amazing but I realized something, I Do Not Like Von's People. I've dated a few women recently that I rather liked but we argued constantly over their shopping at Von's. I think Von's grocery store is a waste of money. I do appreciate the customer service but not to the point of paying 25/30% more for the same exact groceries I can pick-up at Stater Bro's.

"...I Do Not Like Von's People... I do appreciate the customer service but not to the point of paying 25/30% more for the same exact groceries I can pick-up at Stater Bro's..."

What I realized from today's visit is that for whatever reason I may have discontinued these recent relationships with Von's shoppers, I think truly they were pretentious or self-serving. Our fundamental differences seemed more evident and apparent once I was standing in the checkout line. I was able to witness the the items that were waiting to be purchased by those before and behind me in line. No one was planning on preparing a dinner. I was surrounded by people that do not like other people. I was realizing that someone who felt comfortable in this store on the regular basis was not going to be the person I could ever have a serious and meaning relationship with.

I apologize if I have offended you with this post but actually I am in No Way Sorry for It.

Try shopping 2 or 3 times a month at an less expensive grocery store and donating that extra money to a family less fortunate...

Like Mine (lol).

Christmas Generosity 4 All - Toys 4 Tots

Good Day All...I will get right to the point.

Remember the Teenagers when you are giving. There are hundreds of thousands of homeless and abandon teenagers in the system throughout every part of America. Like a small child many of these 13 to 16 year old just wish for something to open on the 25th/Christmas Day. The biggest difference between our teens and our younger less fortunate society members are that they do not really want toys but they would love a simple hair brush.

When you are a teenager and you're living in a group home, the smallest possessions mean so much to you. Hair brushes, underwear, deodorant, socks, barrettes, a beanie or hat, scarf, a backpack, tote bag, a sweater, coat or jacket will bring great joy to our young brothers and sisters. There are so many needs and so few people that remember them when this time rolls around.




They Need Us People...Lets Step it Up

~~~ ***let ballads free*** ~~~

I've never had the voice of Stevie Wonder, John Legend or Bob Marley

but when I am with U...

I wanna Belt out love ballads of adoration loud like no one listening...

picture me singing with the strength of the Brooklyn Boys Tabernacle Choir

trying to get the whole world to hear me

you bring out of me...

the best that I got

My every thought is seductively soaked with visions of u...

I day dream of U....& I...alive...side by side

eyes wide open inherently seeking comfort & growth in u

U are shinning brilliantly, bright & beautiful beyond any & all star burst or constellation

I'm constantly impatiently awaiting the next time I'm the presence of ur imperfect but precious humble angelic essence...

with my arms extended & my big black bald head spinning in every direction

I am belting out love ballads loud like no one is listening

tearfully singing songs to Adore God's Greatest Creation

I'm Blessed when I'm with U...

I've never had the voice of Stevie Wonder, John Legend or Bob Marley

but I still can't help to let ballads free just for the hope that maybe one day you will hear me...

*** "Why Am I Arguing?" ***

Over the last 10 years all my love ones have been bringing it to my attention and making it clearly understood that I frequently "Argue just to Argue." It has been difficult to take this criticism but I have learned a great deal from hearing it, accepting it and reflecting on it.

What I have learned from my argumentative addiction and predisposition for a desire to argue, is that I refrain from "closing" my mind. I refrain from qualifying anything as right or wrong. My goal in any argument is to get my opposition to also think about the other side of the declared decision. I challenge those around me to seek creative outcomes and solutions to every problem.

The greatest part about having such a challenging mentality is that i also challenge myself to always be open. Every choice and action we determine ourselves too, has a positive outcome and a negative outcome for someone involved. We must train and retrain ourselves to see every opportunity and every negative possibility to our decisions.

When we learn to argue all, we realize the effects we have on the universe and how we exist in it. We should realize a journey of higher consciousness and embrace it. Expand your awareness though meditation, contemplation, prayer and self argument.

Now i would hope that we all can understand that post reflection and negative criticism are not the same. We must see where we have made mistake in order not to repeat them. There is always room for improvement but this does not mean everything we do is wrong. Conflicts arise as a result of not understanding that there are as many points of view as there are people. So be aware that challenges arise to make us aware of our inner purpose. When is the last time you really wrestled with your reality? Next time you have this conflict with yourself, argue love into your battle and you will find peace.



"Realize That There Is No Right or Wrong.
There Just Is..."

"I am a Person Who is Hurting; Out to Hurt Other People"

Good Day Readers, Followers & my 1st timers. Today's topic is something that I always seem to have a challenge with writing about because it is very close to me. I decided to finally make an attempt to actually post something because I woke-up thinking about my future life direction that I make decisions on at every moment. You see, I choose to Love people that are Hurt and some how it always ends up causing a trail of dysfunctional relationships.

It is my supreme theory that "Hurting People: Hurt People."

Everyday I think to myself how can I help someone in need. I look for opportunities to be a better Christian, better Humanitarian & a better Person (period). A few years ago I found myself surrounded by arrogant and self-serving, egotist. Empty relationships all of a superficial nature that gave me a great chemical imbalance of high joys and low pains. Today I noticed that I am now surrounded by mostly Hurting People looking for someone to love them but having an inability to love themselves. I am in now way saying that everyone who exist in my personal circles are hurting but there is a large majority of those who are. Many of them do not have any clue to why or that they are even suffering in any way. I am also one of these individual who suffers from deep seeded, unforgettable & unforgivable pains and a destructive mentally.

I came of age in a time when hip-hop male sexual grander & violence was beginning to show its irreversible effects on young urban pre-teens and teen. I lived in a household complete with my mother, father, 4 older brothers and 1 older sister (all separated at least 6 years in age from me). This was very formative to the person I became in my adult life.



My household was a sports center combat zone, highly competitive. Football, basketball, volleyball, track, baseball and of course pretty of music was our daily themes. Music, church and football were the corner stones of extracurricular activities in my home. I walked in the foot steps of social/athletic giants.

Now I loved my upbringing, I still do appreciate it tremendously, it created a great, loving man and I would not change it for a million dollars. although, it has served for a dysfunctional and immoral foundation to why I am the person that I am today. When you have such a large exhibition of testosterone in your home environment, one tends to believe that this is the only way to live or the only correct way to conduct yourself in society. I believed that people would only love me if I was the biggest and baddest stud in the circle. I desired men to admire me and women to love me because I am the "Stud All-Star."

Today, I rely on my Intellectual Prowess and Spiritual Foundation to be the shining examples of my Greatness.
I see myself as a better person of course for being able to make a fundamental path change to a more positive thought process like I have completed but I also realize that I have not arrived at my final destination. I also must realize that everything is not a competition and that I do not have to be the best person in the world but be the best person that I can be for me.

The question is now... "Who Am I?"

I am still choosing to be apart of the Hurting People that are continuous Hurting People? Do I have the ability to see whom I may hurt and change that direction of that relationship before I cause another person pain? What is it that I can do to help myself see those destructive patterns before it is too late?



Honestly, I am not sure what all you're going to take away from these twenty or so sentences that I scribbled today but I hope that at least one thing is too look inside of yourself and try to identify your hurt/pain. Then create an avenue that leads you dealing with it and overcoming it. We all deserve better and we should all always try for it.

"I must enjoy the Journey just as much as the Destination"

" @BdotOhYesss "

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