I am the Definition of Co-Dependency"

"I am the definition of Co-Dependency
Desperate for Family
an example of the inability & lack of desire to survive with just me
I am a city boy that hates to be alone
craves human contact
and solitary confinement is the worse possible punish I can imagine
I'm a social butterfly with the motivation and heart of an army ant
I hunt in the pack of piranha and the school is my home 
I am God creating angels and humans cause even he didn't like being alone 
I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware with an army 
Jesus His Disciples, 
Moses in the Desert, 
MLK in Montgomery, 
Malcolm X in Harlem 
and a Million Man March doing my part so together we can find freedom 
because I've been realized that if there is no You then there can be no Me 
then there's No Family...No Unity 
so Yes, I am the definition of Co-Dependency 
Never ashamed to say I am created through God's reflection in my brother's image 
What ancestors and forefathers spoke of when the uttered the words, "It Takes a Village" 
The courage to stand with you, besides you and in front you ready to take that bullet 
so I'm proudly announcing that I would stand amonst the masses arm and arm, marching & moving forward with you 
I am Co-Dependency asking you to stand with me and write a legendary future history."

-Uncle Salaam...10-14-2012
I can not begin to explain to anyone reading this all the reasons why I wrote this piece. However, I do have a few, important thoughts I will expound on right now. The first being that I have had recent communication with my ex-girlfriend and flat out we have completely different philosophies on independence. My second feeling of motivation came from being raised in a big family (immediate and extended), a large inner-city Catholic church and growing up influenced by the culture of team sports (football, basketball, baseball & volleyball). I watched my parents help many others in our church and community. In turn not only was I exposed to these practices of family and philanthropy but had it instilled and drilled into my every molecule of being. Rather it is globally, family, in our work environment or neighborhoods, we all have to work, build and live together. We are all dependent on one another. No one has made significant progress without the help of another. No matter how much we would like to believe that we do things on our own, there is also someone we owe a thank you to when we accomplish a goal. Someone has usually sacrificed to give us the opportunity to achieve. Rather it was was an underpaid teacher or over-worked nurse, if it is the unseen woman or man that stood up against fascist and civil terrorism so that our generation would have the opportunity to pursue our dreams. Even the judges, lawyers, police and corrections officers that held the criminal opportunist at bay while we pursue and pursued our goals deserve some credit (because I could image it to be pretty difficult to conduct business or study for a college exam when there is a sociopathic guerrilla kicking in your door with a hunting knife or assault riffle). 

 Now I understand that through sheer stubbornness there will be those whom disagree with my philosophy. To all those individuals I offer you the opportunity of proving me wrong by moving to the middle of a desert or forrest and becoming a hermit. Rely on no one but yourself for food, clothing and lodging and then we can talk. Now I know what your thinking, and yes, it is possible but my stipulation for an argument is that you do it. 

To my rational and intelligently thinking and motivated truth seekers reading this blog that are still unconvinced that co-dependency is not only natural but needed in our society, I offer one last example for you. I think we can all agree that George Washington by example was beyond most all individual's definitions of great. Take our nation glorious general and place him at the Battle of Princeton in 1777 completely alone facing thousands of British soldiers and he will stomped to death by red coats until there is no body left to identify. Is there anyone that can seriously conceive the possible notion of a positive outcome for our illustrious first President, never. Let us also add Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to this argument. Lets place him marching alone in Montgomery, Alabama surrounded by hundreds of violent racist bigots carrying stones, sticks and  bottles and we can also imagine that outcome to look exactly the same as the first. Now you take that same General Washington and that same Dr. King, surround them with hundreds of individuals who think as they do and feel like they do and the situations change drastically. Now tell me again how being co-dependent is unhealthy.

Death of a God

My Head, Heart & Soul have Imploded within
So what u see is a shell of a man
nothing but darkness behind my eyes

Contentment vs Accomplishment

Have you ever felt like you were broken? Had a completely overwhelming feeling that you were never going to be good enough to accomplish your truest and deepest desires in life? Rather it be marriage, family, children, job, your education, a relationship with a family member, a stronger relationship with your children or any goal you have in life. You just felt like you weren't built to conquer the one life goal. It especially hurts when you think you are good enough to do it but when you fail, you become overcome with the feeling of giving up. It's hard because the easier giving up is, I think the more dangerous it actually is for us as functional, responsible individuals. The easier we find ways at copping means that we will never focus on what is keeping us from being the greatest we can be and conquering our darkest demons.

We find contentment with the person we are today so that we do not have to face that reality that we need improvement to become the person we feel the desire to become tomorrow, always knowing we are worth so much more. The internal fire rages from time to time with passion and desire to achieve and we know that contentment will never satisfy us. We ultimately do whatever is necessary to not feel broken, even when we know it is not the right choice. We turn to destructive patterns of living, surrounding ourselves with people and engulfing ourselves in environments that will keep us from realizing our greatest levels of achievement. Most times we know it is destructive but if we don't face it and cope, we think everything will just be alright.

Everyone has a has a value level set for themselves. Unfortunately, it takes many levels of accomplishment to completely, truly and honestly know that we have succeeded. So we accomplish what we can and bust our arms patting ourselves on the back in the mean-while. I have done this action a million times over again. I know that I am not complete but it is easier to focus on my accomplishments than it is to face larger goals that feel impossible to fulfill. In the end, a trail will arise to remind me that I am not done with "ME" yet. Trust me, I know it sucks to feel great about life and all of a sudden have a situation remind you of that imperfection within that we have so well learned to ignore and forgive. The type of situation that no matter how far you run it is always there and it always reveals it's head in the most untimely fashions.

Recently I had an aggressive life changing experience that reminded just how broken I am. I am Emotionally Imbalance! I will become so angry that I would fight a lion, tiger, bear and anything else that stood in my way. I have always known and realized I had an over abundance of emotion but I have always found ways to excuse it. I would say, "That's just me, I am the way I am, it is who I was meant to be and I can't change it". Even more emphatically hysterical, I would practice my favorite quote of ease, cope and the ultimate cop out, "God made me this way for a reason, He has a plan for me". Honestly, I can not afford to believe this. I know that I am not Jesus but I refuse to be Judas, which means I will not accept that God's desire or the Universal will for me is to be destine for fulfilling a negative destiny.The truth is that there is a changeable flaw within me and I am trying work through it. I know I will never be happy in life settling for being lessor than the man I want or need to be. Any continuance of living through the actions of contentment will never make me happy. I am happy when I am succeeding and anything less is unacceptable. Working on being the person I truly want to be is a full-time job complete with ever larger than the last setbacks. I will always reach a level of comfort, convenience and confidence and begin to believe that I have conquered all. Unfortunately, the world does not work that way, so trails, tribulations and conflict arise to test my stability. Almost with the of Big Ben's inner clock-workings, I begin to fulfill  the prophecy of feeling failure so again I will flee.

The amazing difference in my most recent setbacks I have faced is that instead of anger management situations, they were the emotions of love that moved beyond my control. Now I have understood for the better part of 10 years now that my emotional instability was more than my lack of controlling my anger but actually not having a handle on any of my emotions in any direction. I  have always exploded when I felt strongly about anyone or anything. Rather I am In Love or I am Angry, I Go Hard. In the past I have built the tools necessary to control my anger and so in turn I would believe that I am healed or resolved of my "Incredible Hulk Conflict". This was because I would deny the reality that my emotions were completely out of control in every aspect. With every passing situation I gained more insight on my anger but never would not always examine the total emotional package.

I think the most difficult part of accepting I have a complete emotional problem is also accepting the fact that my pure potent passion have always been poured into my poetry, music, arts, philanthropy and my humanist disposition. I have a gift and a curse and balancing this gift and curse is the hardest test I have faced in life. Greater than any and all material accolades or societal achievement. I have to be the man that I have to be and no temporary cheap thrill will fulfill that.

Being honest with myself is admitting that I struggle most in my dating patterns. I have experienced relationships with women that I have felt strongly about (some more than others) and I have promised marriage to women that I loved rationally but knew I did not have that burning desire for. I would seek out relationships of convenience in order to better deal with my emotional dysfunction. It was easier for me to conceal, confine and/or deny myself an emotional connection than face the disappointment and fear of never fulfilling my goals, desires, dreams and achieving true self-satisfaction.

Recently, I had a relationship end with an awesome woman. I thought she could, should and would be my wife. Unfortunately the balance and my stability of emotional control were not there. I was going incredibly hard and I knew it but had no desire to stop. As the relationship ended, my emotions spiraled even further out of control and angry and madness took over. The one thing I learned is that the feelings I had for her let me know that settling is not an option or something I can ever do. None of the casual dating, philandering, random sexual encounters or rational long-term relationships will work for me. I acknowledge that I am broken but not beyond repair. I am facing what is broken about me, I will work through my short comings so that I may fulfill my purest desire.

ieLAvate Magazine - April 29th

Sick Jacken & Cynic
Joe Dead
Demar Douglas
Chris Loos

Tupac Shakur & Nas vs. Lil Wayne & Drake (Hip-Hop is Dead)

In the summer of 2012 I will turn 39 years old and I have seen the rise and fall of Hip-Hop music. Now when I say the rise and fall of Hip-Hop music, I mean, I was there for the first national circulated albums. We started with Blonde's "Rapture" and Sugar Hill Gang's "Rappers Delight's". I experienced a revolution in music that has empowered a people and is now impoverishing an entire generation.

When I was in my final year of middle school, I remember my brothers being house party deejays and having that grand connection to all the music that a normal 13 year old would never have access to. I remember listening to Eric B. & Rakim, N.W.A., Run D.M.C. and of course, Public Enemy. Now if you let anyone else tell this story, they would have you believe that all artist in the late 80s were glorifying violence, sexism and gangsta mentalities but in truth, there was so much more.

Hip-Hop to many youth of my time was the only connection to the Black Power, Black Love and Power to the People movement of the 60s that existed. I would watch my white friends (growing up thirty minutes outside of L.A. in Covina, CA) recite the lyrics to a great many black conscious and powerful songs like Run D.M.C's "Proud to be Black" and N.W.A's "F*uck the Police". I use to watch them and think how weird this is that these rappers were screaming anti-white, anti-establishment and anti-authority lyrics and what I saw as the exact people they were talking to were the ones that were loving it.

It took me over a decade of wisdom to realize that the movement I had belly-flopped into full force was not just representing the voice of black people but the voice of an entire generation just as Janice Joplin, Hendricks, John Lennon and Marvin Gaye had done in the 60s. We sought out self-awareness and self-identification through the unity of music. Though these groups would battle with mainstream crossover acts for radio time, they were constantly present and relevant. There just as many if not more party rap and dance tracks but the fact that there was also a voice representing something different than personal gain was what made those times so different.

From 1988 to 1994 we saw the emergence of a many great hip-hop artist. No matter how self-promoting or self-indulged their music appeared, there was always an element of pushing some sort of greater community cause. We had gangsta rappers (Ice Cube, Kool G. Rap & Dr. Dre), we had party rappers (MC Hammer & Rob Base)and the dirty, x-rated rappers (Slick Rick & Too Short) but through it all they all included at the least a couple of tracks with a positive message on each album.

I look at mainstream rap music today and like many other veterans of the art, I can not begin to call it hip-hop. It is as different to me as sitcoms are from reality shows. I listen to complete albums by rap artist today, though only the most successful like Drake, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne (to name a few) actually get more than a single deal and they all sound like monotonous monologues of materialism and misogyny. Don't get me wrong, there has always been this problem in hip-hop before but never to this extent.

The biggest difference between the first decade of hip-hop & this last decade of hip-hop is that there is zero balance. Before you had an equal opportunity to chose what you wanted to hear. You had party songs, love songs, pro-black songs and hardcore x-rated songs. The odd part was that some of these artist figured out how to put these four different elements in the same song. There were no artist ever telling you to not have fun and be broke, they just wasn't such a degradation for those that were.

When you listen to today's rap artist. I feel like my modest life has added up to nothing because they do not just tell you how fabulous their life is, they do everything they can to remind you that if you do not live like them then "You Ain't Sh*t!" (to put it bluntly). The constant message I receive is that it is me against the world. Rappers today even hate their fans.

I understand that rappers have always projected a braggadocios and audacious superiority but it seemed to somehow to incorporate its followers over belittle them. I could not begin to enjoy when today's rap artist tells me that because I do not own a $100k car or $10 million home that I am not worthy of existing.

In closing, my only wish is to hear more Outkast, Cypress Hill and Tupac artist emerging on the mainstream music scene so that the younger generation does not fall victim to the "Hybrid Society" which wishes to end human life as we know it.

Implosive Miracle of Seduction

Her seductive spirit filled lips spilled whispers of desire while I stood still showing all 32 teeth

speechless and vulnerable, I journey...
I am a Soul Traveler, Unique! but why has she chosen me?

I am not wealthy... nor am I worthy of her greatness
but I, desire her unbridled attraction parallel to bright satellites
I define her presence in cosmic physics because no earth stricken movement would ever hold justice


with a Big Bang she spoke no words but her eyes held the intellectual monologue of Medusa
Hips of Venus, We traveled inner-space with no suits,
naked & unashamed she captivated my will

I heard her soul speak to me every time she grinned
so I could only smile,
(the only way I knew how to bring joy to her door)

Overrun with reckless abandon tightly clinching pure intention I entrenched deep within her pleasures
rising above mankind's limits reaching forever extending tipping points

My future family pioneer sparked my heart to revolution...
we evolved to levels of unexplored place...
She knew I desired trust suitable for a nation
so her perfection told no lies


Sparking powder kegs & Imploding fears inside I witness newborn confidence of kings...
the arrogance of a top gun pilot...
the celebration of a scientist staring down the barrow of an intergalactic kaleidoscope captivated by a colorful collage cloaked in the collected hopes of so many...

I have touched my holy grail
My Venus
My Medusa
My Mothership named Desire's Messiah

America's Prisons are Over Crowded

What I have Learned about Mormons

Many of these videos are the recently old documentation of the Latter Day Saints aka LDS aka the mormon church but they are still frightening. I usually do not go "On Record" bringing down the craziness in anyone's religion but I just had to expose some of this outrageousness in a time when we are considering a Mormon for President.

Governor Mitt Romney was 31 years old when the Church of LDS finally decided to let Black men hold priesthood in their doctrine.

I will let the videos tell the stories of their beliefs.

Donny & Marie

Donny back peddling & Marie setting the Women's Movement backwards.

In 2005, the Intelligence Report published the following statements made by Warren Jeffs, President of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints: 1. "The black race is the people through which the devil has always been able to bring evil unto the earth."

Joseph Smith first president, prophet, and founder of the Mormon Church

Had I anything to do with the negro, I would confine them by strict law to their own species, and put them on a national equalization" (Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 270; History of the Church, 5: 218; emphasis added). "Thursday, 8--Held Mayor's court and tried two negroes for attempting to marry two white women: fined one $25, and the other $5" (ibid., 6: 210). and the rebellious niggers in the slave states. . . " (Millennial Star, 22:602; emphasis added).

When Mormon Historians reprinted this in the History of the Church, they change it to read: "and the rebellious negroes in the slave states. . . " (History of the Church, 6:158; emphasis added).

The other side of the coin

I Forgive but I Never Forget

(especially when you don't allow me too)

OK, I understand that most western philosophy and religions started with a deep seeded anti-woman & anti-African-American racism. The biggest difference I see is that the LDS Church was Founded on Racism.

Their doctrine has not changed & these viewpoints that have been shared are currently found in the Book of Mormon

Brand New Hot Sh!t

Award Winning and Warped Tour Battle Winner, Seefor Yourself and his band Sudent Body Presidents are ready to release his debut EP "Greatest Show on Earth"! This SoCal artist is a blend of Busta Rhymes, Outkast and The Black Keys! The music is beautiful, the stories are intense and the live show is killer!

The release of this upcoming album will reveal Seefor’s unique mix as a hip hop stylist, rock singer, rap icon and pop producer which all culminate into an unforgettable and commanding master performance. The unreleased album is already making waves as unmixed versions of the songs from the album have been played on VH1’s “For The Love Of Ray- J” and TBS’s “Lopez Tonight” show AND WERE PERFORMED IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR OUR 1ST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA! The release of this staggering musical vision will propel Seefor Yourself to global preeminence as a true artist and social prophet. It is only a matter of time….

Check Out his Latest Video: Bombs Over Baghdad 2012

http://iamSeeforYourself.com/

Uncle Salaam Never Lied!!!

Uncle Salaam

Never Lied !!!

& now a few words from Gandhi

Speak the Truth Even when the Truth is Inconvenient...

















You can Never Stop Reality from being Real!!!

Never Let Your Emotions Get the Best of You

}}}---> The Valentine's Day Massacre After-Party <---{{{

lock

cocked

& ready to rock

popped 2 shots through the heart & stop blood flow

she hate me but don't know

every time she tell me...she loves me...it ain't me

& lately...I don't even know me

so now I sit lonely...surrounded with a wall of foolish pride

I hide behind true lies like a bad actor in an independent college film

my collaborating will...still hold tight to thoughts of holding you

I'm holding through the thick with no thin

caught by wicked wind...blew through the cavity the heart use to reside in

blown out by an assassin lying behind eyes of passion

I'm asking what happened to the smiles & laughing

now frowns & gnashing teeth incarcerate a tongue to no longer speak

Silence! slice the night chill with heavy breath

this is the death of a salesman

heart spilling desire cross concrete & asphalt

"Its Your Fault!!!"

pointed fingers implicated dying body

revenge is sweet but all I taste is the bitter backside my own lies

blown back in my own face

Taste! sweet revenge served cold

dark hole blowing heavy heat

cavity in my chest gargle speech

Please! don't leave me lying in lies on grief street...

*~*~* Happy Valentine's Day *~*~*

My Favorite Song

So I am sure that rather your reading this today (02/14/2012) or your skipping back through my catalog, hopefully you realize that today's Valentine's Day. I normally don't celebrate Holidays but I just had to share this song with the whole world. Erykah Badu is one of My Top 3 Favorite Artist (my top female artist hands down, guaranteed).

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtlbBdXsTC8

~+~ Not Just Another Doctor Visit ~+~

This morning I had a doctor's appointment and got wonderful news. I found out that my past 3 month average blood sugar reading was tremendously lower. He also informed me that my blood pressure and renal failure (kidneys) were doing a significant amount better. This blew my socks completely off.

It is amazing to receive such great news after the last several visits I have had with the doctor since July 1st (see post: "Morality in the Making"). Today, every conversation my doctor had with me was began with a magnificent smile and met with even more marvel and celebration on my part.

While speaking with the doctor, I instantly thought of everyday over the last 3 to 6 months that I have held back and pushed forward with my bland diet. Everyday I decided to respect that diet, get off my fat behind and workout. Not just all the times I had to pass on all my favorite snack and sugary goodies (I really miss the ice cream, chocolate sandwich cookies and cupcakes), but the menu really sucks when you have to cut out all the carbs, sodium, potassium, starch and sugar. Now I have not been perfect, I love eating but I had to show restraint.

Interesting enough, many would ask me about my food choices. I mostly still ate in public like there was nothing wrong. Seriously, could anyone imagine me only eating boiled, skinless, boneless, under-seasoned chicken breast every single day. The changes I made were drastic but they were not always consistent or constant. I have just been determined to make my diet better. A few less double cheeseburgers or grande nachos and more grill chicken salads & flat bread veggie wraps.

My journey of better health and a longer life has in no way ended. Although, it is awesome to know that my dedication to making my situation better has seen positive signs. I can not do it all in one day but with the help of my great spirit to succeed... I Will Stay Determined To Make My Life Different!

I Love You All & Thanks for Reading

My Family

Eco-Mania Wrapped in the Pathology of Obsession

I have been called a navel-gazing, self-absorbed, arrogant intellectual elitist. I have also been referred to as a self-involved egomaniac and a self-preoccupied, pathological cult leader determined to always prove I'm right. Some have said I am a socialist with a self-centered capitalist agenda and others like to say I am a narcissist trapped in a fat body suit. To all of these sweeping indictments I can only respond with the proclamation of; "Yes, I Am!!!"

I have lived an exciting and event-filled life which has shown me a great many things. I've experienced lessons which have been immediately imperative and others that have taken 10/20 years to reveal their ultimate greatness. I've had teachers, gurus, leaders, preachers and peers that have played influential roles in shaping the man you see today. I've also conceived and manifested a million original thoughts (some sparked by what I have seen or heard and others which appear to be purely self motivated from situations which are unique to only me).

I have never taken an IQ test, however I know that my ability to create poetic concepts and my advanced problem solving skills make me more than a simple Philistine.

I am a man that loves people and I stay dedicated to helping those who cannot help themselves. I have a huge bleeding heart for today's young people. I constantly find myself contemplating how the youth of today are journeying in a first-class seat aboard a societal ship of dysfunction being capsized by a super storm of hedonism known as the Internet and televisions with over 400 channels.

I think of what we have seen when we were children. We had constant inter-action with neighborhood peers, parents teachers and coaches. There was constant team activities and recreation where we learned how to "get-a-long" and get the job done as a group.

I became an adult and continued to grow in the attributes of community. I see many peers from my childhood or just the same age as myself who have seemed to abandon these same characteristic properties. We as a society have become so self-preoccupied with constant meta-physical orgasmic fulfillment that our children only know this to be the first and foremost goal of life.

Ponder this hypothetical for a moment...

If your on body there was a small button which produced a quick & immediate, 10 second, organically euphoric intoxication, a total mental state of ecstasy, elation, exhilaration, rapture and rhapsody, how often would you push it? Seriously, imagine a small button located on your forward-outer thigh. It could be perfectly placed at arms length and so you could secretly manipulate it while simply having your hands in tyour pockets. No one would know, there would be no revealing or identifying expressions in your body language or face. You could have a 10 second Orgasm and No One would be the wiser. How often would you push it?

Now imagine your children who completely lack discipline and how many times in a day do you think they would be on top of this button. How many times a hour do you think they would push this button to the point of needing a new button or hard wire replacement? If you don't think it would be a dramatic incline from how an adult might choose to abuse this button, then think about this for a moment. Drug use in intermediate schools are higher today than 20 years ago [1]. Single parent homes and pregnancy outside of marriage rates rise everyday [2] & [3]. America's education levels are drastically falling every year [4]. We are a country and society that are Morally, Artistically and Mentally Bankrupt. Now if it could be made easier for our children to disconnect momentarily from reality, how often do you think they would take advantage of it?

The aforementioned can only be explained as; Hedonism: *the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life... also described as a school of thought which argues that pleasure is the only intrinsic good.

Today our youth have role-models that are gaining immense capital from teaching all the wrong values (i.e., The Kardashians, Lil Wayne, Tosh 2.0, etc...). The worst part is that even if it is our very own children in our homes are not partaking in these forms on mind controlled entertainment, their friends, peers and schoolmates are. We must stay vigilant in finding ways to combat the ills and balance the scales that mass media inflicts hourly. I am not saying that we have to ban the Internet or satellite television but find ways of rewarding today's youth for picking up a book other than Twilight or Us Magazine.

~+~ The Poor/Rich Man Experience ~+~

Today I was surfing Facebook and came across a friend's status which pulled at my heart strings. It was a very ironic situation because at the same time I was thinking how I need to write a blog on Philanthropy which could be contributed to by the voice of another but was not sure how to go about this. Of Course like lighting in a bottle I was struck and now here I am.

This was my Friend, Former Roommate, Previous Musical Artist Collaborator & Godly Brother Mike Butta's Experience:

"Got out the gym and was walking into fresh and easy to buy some fruit .....a young lady stopped me and seemed like she was going to ask for money so I was about to walk a lil faster and pay her no attention until I saw her kids and she asked me can I help feed her kids.......so I got them some pizza....but with saying that people think they have it rough and shit .....naw its not rough until your begging someone to feed your kids player."

I would like to personally thank Mike Butta for sharing such a heart warming story with us. So many times I open Facebook & Twitter to only see hundreds of post about sports, reality shows and the "who shot john" rumors that have zero significance in the growth of are future and the futures of our children.

Mike Butta...

that was a great thing you have done today, especially in this economy where most of us can use a little help.

"Conversation with Mystery Lady, Etta James"

In the summer of 1999, I was listening to a gorgeous, sultry & husky rhythm & blues voice while cleaning my pool hall in Upland, CA. I started this day out alone but after an hour or so, I was joined by a few employees and pool hall regulars, all under the age of 21. One in particular, a 18 year old employee, approached me and asked, "Who was this we were listening to?"Now this is were everything takes a twist from the norm because before I could otter an answer an 5 foot 9 inch, 16 year old blonde responded, "Mystery Lady: Songs of Billie Holiday" by Etta James. Needless to say my mouth dropped, I was totally stunned that a woman so young could so quickly show her familiarity with such a great (but 8 year old) album.

I realized that this conversation must go further and I have to explore the depths of this young lady's blues history. I would ask a questions and she would respond with the same answer, "I Love Etta James Voice." It didn't matter what I asked or who I was talking about, she some how related her answer and spun it back into the direction of Etta James.

After an hour of conversation which started with me looking at a young, hard rock, hip-hop, skateboarding, Daddy's Lil Southern Cali Girl, left me staring into the eyes of what not just I will described as a cool young woman but I also realized how much one artist can change the impression you have in every person. I do not remember the young lady's name but I can not think of Etta James without thinking of my friend and blues peer for life.

Etta James, At Last, You Will Be Greatly Missed...

"I want to be loved for who I am, not what I can provide"

“I want a woman who wants me, not one who needs me. I want her to love me for me. I can tell [when] a woman is just interested in the externals, which in my book are the equivalent of being in love for money, appearances, or out of desperation. I’ve dated women who were more into those three [things] than into [who I am as a person]. I don’t want to be looked at like I’m a bank, a daddy on demand, or a means to an end of any kind.” The takeaway lesson here is that men are looking for an authentic connection and really notice its absence.

“I’d rather have a real woman who is into me than some idealized version… who wants me to be Ken to her Barbie.”