Dec 29, 2014

All Conservatives are Racist and Doomed for Failure

In today's America, we have almost 300 million citizens choosing strong political (social) sides. While the majority of America's citizens are Liberals, we have a strong Conservative core struggling to remain relevant in today's rapidly progressing culture. Most of the conservatives in America represent the majority in less populated states, mainly rural areas. Western Pacific and the New England states are mainly populated by liberals and there are a few in the upper Mid-Western states. Other than these areas, the rest of the country is rabidly right leaning.

Throughout the past few months I have found myself in quite a few heated debates with conservative activist, extremist and pacifist. There were conversations that took place face to face, while others were through social media post. Some of these conservatives were respected and loved family members and friends, yet others I have and never will meet in-person. There is one commonality during and after these engagements of idealism I would have, there always had the same questions rattling around in my head. My thoughts always journey down the same path and I was typically kicking myself for not inquiring.

I would love to know what makes a man believe that our country should not evolve politically, socially, culturally or educationally. I wonder if there is any difference between the beliefs of modern-day fiscal conservatives and the idealism that southern confederates believed to be right and good, which lead our country into Civil War. I think to myself, what is the difference between this person that is against the "Anti-Police Brutality" protesters and would they be the same conservatives who would have lined the streets to spit and throw rocks at Civil Rights Marchers in Mississippi and Alabama in the 1960s. 

Perhaps my biggest question to any conservative today is; if you were born in a different era of America's short and violent history, at what time do you believe that you would have been a liberal? I am sure every conservative today has an era that they believe they would have been on the side of change but I highly doubt it that most would have thought any different.

During the late 18th century, America was in a battle for independence with the British. Ironically enough, a vast majority of the colonist in America did not agree with the Boston Tea Party, including then Gen. George Washington and Attorney at Law Thomas Jefferson. This event was considered an angry and unlawful riot and for a half century was referred to as, "The Destruction of Tea". It was not only the destruction of the East Indian Company's products that occurred on several occasions that was frowned upon by the populous but it was also the burning of several ships over the course of a year and assaulting, falsely detaining and hostage-taking of many of the ships crew.

Many today believe that the Boston Tea Party was the spark that ignited the people against the England's Parliament but it was not. After Gen. Washington publicly rallied for a tax that would atone for the replacement of lost revenue due to the misbehavior by rebellious colony citizens, America found itself in a military police state under British troops (the active Federal Government). On March 5, 1970, a street protest turned physically violent by drunken colonial aggressors against an overwhelmingly outnumbered small group of British troops. Eventually in fear for their lives these troops opened fire instantly killing 3 men on the spot and 2 others that later succumb to their gun shot injures. Yet this was still not the motivating factor that brought the country together and led to the Revolutionary War but it was the acquittal of Captain Thomas Preston and his 8 British troops which infuriated the masses and led to the final straw breaking the camel's back. 

Two centuries ago participants in "The Destruction of Tea" movement were of the same values of those of Liberal beliefs today. They were anti-corporation, anti-militarized police state and anti-centralized banking and a small minority of people willing to fail in order to be free. They were considered criminals and protested violently and regularly. They were hated by conservatives but thankfully were never deterred by the opinion of the privileged masses

Unfortunately, like every other time in history, conservatives did not want change. They did not seek to evolve and were happy with the status-quo of life as it was. So once again, I ask my conservative brothers and sisters, in what era of America's history would you have been a liberal willing to put your life on the line for the freedom of all in this country?

Nov 24, 2014

Destruction of Black America: New World Death Penalty

In 1999, during the President Bill Clinton Impeachment trail, the CIA finally admitted that during the mid-80s they were the biggest drug dealers in American history. This is a FACT! The CIA finally admitted to pumping enormous amounts, tons upon tons of cocaine into the Los Angeles area and eventually urban cities across America. Unfortunately, Americans from coast to coast were to busy tuning their TVs in at record breaking rates that raveled that year's Superbowl, to watch the Pres talk about his extra marital affairs.

I was a first hand supporter to the "Crack the CIA Movement" lead by CA Rep. Maxine Waters (D) and many grassroots organizers, while everyone was focused in the opposite direction. The entire nation tuned-in every morning, afternoon and prime time hours to ingest the garbage of an useless impeachment trail. The entire time, we had both parties working together to pass bills, release little paid attention to statements and cover-up hundreds of other criminal instances induced by both sides of the aisle.

This is not the first instance of America releasing government sponsored dis-ease and evil own it's own people. My community has always struggled with alcohol, drugs, poverty and health crisis. This was only the final blow in the completion of the FIRST step of completely annihilating a growing giant and crippling it's future forever.

While crack cocaine dealing become the greatest source of  economic advancement for Black & Mexican males in Urban America, which of course being the most addictive drug known on earth, these parts were just the beginning. The "War on Drugs" started by Pres. Nixon but really taking a hold on the public with Pres. Reagan, which who incidentally is the same governor that closed mental health facilities a decade earlier, These same facilities whose highest priority was treating drug addiction victims and putting all these people with severe mental health issues on to the streets. The same governor who while closing the doors on these mental health facilities, allowed the opening a couple dozen private prisons which he himself and his cohorts were fully invested in. Do you see where I am going here? Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg.

In the early-90s, California lead the push on stricter felony laws, 3 strikes, life sentencing and reduction of good behavior early parole, forcing felons to serve 80% of sentences. The government was stacking the prisons with it's most valuable and lucrative product, Human Beings. Young men were being literally sold into state sentences by the courts for doing the same thing that the federal government does and needed them to do in order to generate a funds. Urban males were dealing drugs just as the CIA did. Urban males were going to war over territory, just as our military does. Killing people, just as big brother does. The biggest difference is that Urban America was and is the only ones paying the price for its immoral and illegal activities. Unfortunately, when a poor person exploits their limited opportunities (which were government perpetuated) in an attempt to better their financial/survival situations, it will more than likely be deemed illegal and severely punished, even if it is not for everyone else.

With poverty being one of the many leading causes of drug addiction, which creates more drug dealers, giving way to mandatory sentences and larger prison populations, all creating more money for the Top 1%, this has to be more than just accidental. Black and Latino males were being systemically eliminated. We were being drugged out, murdered and/or imprisoned for life by the millions, as a result our entire families were failing. we are now falling prey to passive resistance with the elimination of our warrior class.

The young men in our cities are now limited in numbers. We are limited in college, we are limited in the workforce and we are limited in the home. So today, we now have a system that does not promote our education and self-sufficiency but instead is seeking to incarcerate us by the millions.

I know many of you will say that no one held a gun to anyone's head forcing them to deal drugs or join a gang but how do you wag your finger at these youth while you take advantage of the all the privileges you receive from your government perpetrating the same crimes?

Jun 22, 2014

"Why are Minorities so Sensitive"

How many times have you heard this question posed? For me, it has been countless times a month over the last 2.5 decades. Usually, it is a white friend or associate but there are a great number of times it has been a stranger that I am unaware of their history or background. This is a question that has frustrated me throughout the course of many arguments, not that I am unaware of the answer but more unaware of how to explain this difficult emotion to am individual that cares more about winning the argument over the truth.

I have come to realize that many people that argue are rarely seeking truth but rather a victory. Most argue with emotion and questions like this are meant to belittle their adversary rather than point them towards light or induce an epiphany of understanding. More commonly, those that are faced with this question feel somewhat humiliated because they realize that they are being sensitive in one way or another and can harbor feelings of being weak or inferior, especially after witnessing the smirking face standing across from them. 

Over the last few months I have come to realize a new reality. Minorities sensitivity are not because they are weaker or inferior but because we have been subject to a inferior position and are complaining because we have not found conformity with it. We are actually showing our strength by not being satisfied with the status-quo of a second rate existence.

I have also realized in today's new societal time of majority liberalism and compassion for our fellow man, that conservatives are becoming the new whiny, sensitive, cry babies. I witness countless right-wing republicans constantly complaining on social-media and various other outlets about every progressive change our country is undergoing. These are the same individuals that over the last 25 years or so, were and still are, asking me. "Why are minorities so sensitive?"

"Conservatives are America's New Cry Babies"

As the new liberal social world order progresses, conservatives are finding their old supremacist ways and lifestyle in jeopardy. The feeling of superiority and privilege that has come with being middle-class and white in America is losing it's footing. It almost feels as if with every passing day more and more white Americans are filling the bandwagons of discontentment for the so-called minorities that are seeking equal placement in our country. Rather it is hating President Obama and Democrats or just hating anyone that has the audacity to seek an equal opportunity for themselves and their children. 

America was supposedly founded on a value of equality that many have never felt and the ones that have been privileged to for so long feel that they are losing. Which brings me to an important question, "Is White Privilege Disappearing?" I witness rally after rally, conservative organizations and social-media groups forming almost weekly promoting the protection of the great way of American life. When you see the members of these groups, there is one thing that they all have in common, they are all a sea of white faces. Hoards of middle-aged and older white Americans screaming to the top of their lungs how they are losing their rights. The truly outlandish oddity in all this is how the only right I see them losing is the right to "White Privilege."
The truth is that "White Privilege" is still alive and well. Although, it has lost some of it's footing, it is still ever apparent in today's judicial court system and corporate executive structure. Minorities still receive far more time behind bars in America's great penitentiary industrial complex as opposed to their white counter-parts for the same crimes and white males still hold a disparaging and overwhelming percentage of executive positions in America's Fortune 500 companies. Although, I do feel compassion for America's middle-class white male, it can not be easy to have a minority rise to the position of highest office in America, have to face trial for shooting black kids for walking through your neighborhood wearing sweatshirts or witnessing Russell Wilson win the Super Bowl. My heart truly goes out to you, after all, I am a Liberal.

Jun 19, 2014

Fox News: Megyn Kelly & Dick Cheney

I finally had an opportunity to watch the entire interview by Megyn Kelly of former Vice-President Dick Chaney today and I am "tongue-in-cheek" surprised. As many news outlets are broadcasting through social media, Megyn Kelly showed a side that has been rarely seen by 99% of Fox News anchors and journalist, to that I say, Not.

Unfortunately, if you observe the video in it's entirety, you will see that Megyn Kelly is simply giving the former Vice-Pres an opportunity to refute his critics and lobby support for a new organization that undoubtedly his daughter, Liz Cheney, President for "The Alliance for a Strong America", will begin gathering support to position her for a bid in the highest office of America in 2020 (or maybe even 2016). After examining the the site, it was easy to recognize that many of the ideals of the present Tea Party have been carried over. Although, a major difference I recognized is that this organization seems to focus more on foreign policy than domestic.

As I viewed the video as linked directly by Fox News, what became immediately apparent was that Megyn Kelly was in no way challenging VP Cheney, but instead offering him pre-submitted softball insertions and an opportunity to refute claims that the Bush admin should take responsibility for the war in Iraq. He and his daughter Liz sang the song that we would expect and Megyn Kelly danced like only a Fox News anchor would. She was pleased with his answer and in addition offered ample time for the Cheney twins to pitch their new Anti-Obama/Anti-Liberal organization.

Full Interview of Dick & Liz Cheney by Megyn Kelly

Jul 3, 2013

American Race War

***America's Race War***

The more I watch the Martin/Zimmerman trial, this Paula Deen scandal and hear all the different opinions on all the various sub-topics surrounding racism and the use of the, "N word" in America. The more I CRINGE.

America's race issues are nowhere near what they use to be in previous decades/centuries but it doesn't mean it is completely vanished. Just because there are no longer Jim Crow laws or segregation does not mean that I am wanted, desired or excepted into every circle. We as a people, Americans in a capitalist society are experiencing a different kind of separatist war. Today's we are all choosing sides in a Class War.

Today's wars are based more on cultural, socio-economical and political differences with race as nothing more than a vehicle to perpetuate hate. Those still giving into racist thoughts and actions are obviously among the least educated of our society. Although, many of us (including myself) use race as their primary identifying maker for cultural bias.

We judge daily and we use race in many different ways to prejudice our cultural and class disapproval or contempt. We fear what we do not understand, so through fear we create separation and contempt. A seriously disappointing fact about all of this, is that most of the youth today could careless about race but still possess many bias when it comes to another individuals social, economic/class or political status. The even worse part, is that this is exactly what the top 1% desires. Divide and Conquer. 

Today's new tolerate American citizen (which are definitely in the majority on issues of race) still has quite a bit of growing to do. Although we are much more excepting of our fellow man's skin color, we haven't quite learned to except his cultural differences. Typically, many middle-class, suburban white Americans will except a Latin, Asia or even Black family moving into their community as long as they "act" accordingly. They are excepting when the family posses the same religious, economic and political views. As long as the family does not want to bring their heritage or culture with them, then they are okay. Now let a family move into the neighborhood and that family has no desire to change their belief system or values to mirror the surrounding community and watch the bigotry and hatred ensue.

This is particularly disturbing to me because I come from a family rich in tradition that does not mirror many of the middle-class values. I, we are not all the same but instead of that being celebrated it is incredibly frowned upon. I had many friends growing up from many different backgrounds but oddly enough for many of those friends I was the only person int their circles that was different. I attribute that my friendship was easier to maintain because I did posses a in-dept understanding of other cultures but I didn't always care to to sacrifice my own identity to make everyone else comfortable. In turn, many of my friends were truly excepting of having a culturally different friend (so it was some group effort of acceptance by some more than others).

Bringing home my point, I think I want more people to understand what it is like to have a different upbringing that would be considered outside the majority of societal beliefs and the struggles that incur. The fact that no one wants to be called racist but the majority of us all still stereotype or at the least use race first in describing each other, especially when feeling extremely angry. 

Even when we are not angry, we will describe individuals using their race/color or heritage. We call Obama a Black President. We will say things like my favorite black actor or my favorite white singer but all in the same breath exclaim how we are not racist by identifying our friends that are not the same as us.

If we are to truly to conquer our prejudice and bigotry then having the inability to count our friends, peers and associates that are different is a great place to start. Next, I would suggest visiting the homes of some of your friends that come from different nations. Don't just invite them into your home but go to their homes when they have a traditional family gathering. Introduce and expose yourself to their family life, tradition and culture. Leave your bubble and that goes for everyone black, white, brown, yellow, straight, gay and lesbian (but I will be honest, that goes double for white people because many of us recognize that we are constantly having to adopt to your standards, while you ignore ours.

There is also one more point I would like to make, as long as we continue to bicker with one another and focus on issues like gay marriage, race and how many bullets his/her gun holds, the easier it is for us all to end up trapped like rats. Debt-enslavement is the one and only goal of the Federal Reserve and they could careless who or what you are. They backed Reagan, Bush, Clinton, Bush Jr. and now back Obama. They back all wars (both sides) and they always win big no matter if the economy is in the toilet or soaring high. Stop focusing on all the immediate bullshit in the world and realize that the real war is between the "Have and Have-Nots".

Dec 22, 2012

I have created a new blog in connection with this one. It will document my journey towards better health. I decided to separate the two blogs because I feel this one is more dedicated to my Spiritual and Mental growth and my Physical health needed its own personal outlet.

So link over and Enjoy ;-)

Dec 17, 2012


After having a text conversation with a friend, I watched the movie, "Courageous." It was an awesome picture, very highly motivating. I can not believe that I had not heard much about this movie before. I mean, I had heard of it but only one person that I did not know told me it was a must see. I am not sure if it is because I have not spent many days or nights around the church in the last year but none the less, I have not heard to much about it.

As I began to watch it, all I could think about was this is what I want for my life. I have always known that I am the type of man that takes responsibility for another's life. I know that I must be the best man I can be. The best example that I can be. The best role model and provider that I can be. A great father and supportive husband. A giant of a man amongst so many that have been falling short.

Growing up an athlete (especially in sports like football) thought me how to be a responsible and loyal member of a family and a team player. Football is the only sport where if one man does not do his job for one fraction of a second they whole play will fall apart and someone can get seriously injured. I was also raised in a Catholic home with both my parents and being the youngest of 4 siblings. My dad was a Vietnam veteran who spoke with a stern tone, punished with a Texan heavy iron fist and had the heart of Mother Teresa. He was a man that showed very little passion, cried less than a handful of times but has always had a brotherly love for our neighbors. My mother wore her emotions on her sleeve and was completely outward with her generosity and giving spirit.

Growing up in a family like this kept many people whom needed help in and out of our home. If we weren't taking in a family friend, then there was a someone that we were giving a ride to school, work or church. Some of the individuals that I had the pleasure of sharing our with with are still in my life today and they are never considered anything less than family. Some people that I met only needed a place to stay for a night or a week or so and I will never forget them either.

When I watched the movie "Courageous" I could only think of my father and the man that he is and was. I realized that though my mother was the main lobbyer for many of these people (mostly children, teenage and pre-teen) to stay with us, it took a magnificently great man to stand in agreement with a such a huge hearted woman.

I remember the day my dad was working his second job as a security guard in the mid to late 90s.He called my mother to warn her that while he was patrolling a rather large city park, he had come across a mother and her 19 year old mentally disabled son and they were sleeping beneath there. It informed my mother that he was going to bring them home and in the mother she (my mother) would have to help them find a shelter that would allow her to keep her son with her. He arrived home no longer than 10 to 15 minutes later with this mother and older son to bedroom setting that I was instantly ordered to provide for them. This is the type of thing that happened regularly in our home and I could see no other better way to come of age.

My father was and is a Courageous man. He has had his struggles and has in no way been perfect but he has always been perfect for my family. He has stood besides my mother that has fought a debilitating and mortal disability known as Sarcoidosis (originally diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis). He has worked 40 plus years to provide for me and my siblings. He took in many family members, our childhood friends and people he had only known for 5/10 minutes. He is undoubtedly one of the main reasons I am a man today that lives through my heart's desires and thinks on a social and community level. He is exactly that father and husband that I strive to be.

Dec 9, 2012

Tag...Your It (chasing what you can't catch)

Good Day People of a Higher Understanding...

This morning I awakened from a very short slumber with quite a bit on my mind. Before I went to bed last night I was texting three different women friends in my life, all with whom were seeking the same advice, "Why is this relationship game so hard to understand?"

I heard every question from, "Am I not young enough anymore? Am I just not beautiful enough anymore? Am I just not desirable? Why doesn't he want me?" and my personal favorite, "Why do so many men I date desire me and beg for me hand in marriage but the one I seem to want does not desire to settle down?" With that being my personal favorite, I will use this as the context for today's post.

So let's start with the ladder, "Why do so many men desire me but the one I seem to want not want to settle down?" It is simple really, humans desire what they can not have. It is all about the chase. We have all heard the parable, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush." No matter how many times we hear colorful euphemisms like this, we never get the point. I mean we get it, but we never know how to apply it at the right times. We can never see or appreciate the beauty of what is right in front of us because we are to busy looking for what is better. We see what others have and believe that we want the greener grass just as they have.

There is also a deeper reality but still it is also simple. Look around you. How many relationships are you aware of that the man is more yoked than the woman and yet are still functional? The answer is blatant, not very many (actually, I see none). Over time a man chasing a woman is seen as weak. No matter who this man is and what he has accomplished in life, it is a sign of weakness to women if a man places her upon a pedestal. If he shares to much emotion, then he is weak. If he chases her or is displays everyday passion, then he is weak. A woman never wants a man that is co-dependent. She doesn't want to know that he's world would end if she leaves. She wants to feel that she is desired but never needed. Picking out his clothes or making a meal is great but it's very rare she wants to feel like he will stop existing if she is no longer there.

I know that this sounds odd and I hate to paint the picture that this is how every relationship is but 99.99% seem to work this way. Woman do not desire a man that would move across country for a women's job but they would rather have a man that would give them the ultimatum of following them or falling off if he needs to relocate at the drop of a dime. They want a man that can lead. The Woman's Right Movement has only come so far in this psychological understanding. Most women still secretly desire to be told what to do by their significant other, or as we would say back in the day,"What's Deal Is."

This has been true since the beginning of time. I have proven it, tried and tested, and seen it work many times for myself. If I show a woman the bare minimum of interest, she will follow me like I am God. If I tell a woman that she has my heart and pledge my unwavering commitment to her, then I would lose her. I have held many women at bay to only have them continue with more vigor after every time I let them know that I like them but I am not interested in settling down. To be honest if this is true for me then it must be something to it, because as Notorious B.I.G. said, "I'm a heartthrob never, black and ugly as ever. However...." Somehow, I still managed to step through some exclusive doors with models on my elbow.

I can even proceed a step further. Imagine the relationships where the men chase the women. Do you see these relationships as functional or do you see these women as settling? We look at these relationships and see something unnatural. When in fact, these relationships are where usually the most love lives. Why, because the men are actually involved in the emotional side of the relationship and when you have a man that loves a woman so much he can not stop telling her, then you have something very special there. Unfortunately, the natural cycle of our nature does not allow for a man to ever be so vulnerable because most every woman are seeking strength and dominance. They don't see a compromising man as fit or strong. They see him as weak or as a weenie. You can't head the household if you can't head the relationship. Women are natural nurturers and if a man becomes that nurturer than the woman looses interest.

If you do not believe me. Then think of the last man who asked you to move in with him. You denied that man but sat around hoping that the man that is denying you, would pose that same proposition. It is not that the second man is a better suit for you, on the contrary he is the total opposite. He is unavailable and unwilling to compromise but since that is a challenge and he is not easy. You see having this man as more of being worthy with than the first. The second man will never appreciate you as the first does but this is actually a desirable trait to you. Unfortunately, most women do not figure this out until after 5/10 years of marriage and 2/3 children. But go ahead and marry that second man and do not be surprised when he is carrying on a relationships with a co-worker or the coffee girl on his route.

Finally, the best way I can explain it is to look at the prize factor. Men see women as a great compromise and women see men a prize. The difference is that a man can settle for a lessor prize and a woman can't. Her determination will not allow her to be with someone that is not a top draft pick. As for a man, we see it as who treats us the best in combination with who looks the best as being the winners. We easily settle for convenience over love or commitment. We seek those that will take care of us like our mothers or like we think our mother should have. Women can not settle for just that. They must be made to feel like whatever they are doing is never quite good enough. In a relationship they desire to keep working harder and harder to be the woman that man desires. If we reaffirm their insecurities and tell them that they are exactly what we desire repetitively then they have nothing to strive for. If they we become content, then they loose interest. If we show to much attention, they loose interest.

Now I understand that many of you might think I am full to the bulging of my expresso brown eyeballs and I have know idea what I am talking about (and I just might have it all wrong). This is just an unproven philosophy that I found through observation and studying. I have read a few hundred books on relationships written by psychologist and psychiatrist alike and several dozen written by actual "street pimps" on the art and laws of how to get and maintain that working girl. I have also journeyed as far as to incorporate the philosophies I've discovered through management and sales courses (the "How to be a Successful CEO" books and symposiums).

Unfortunately, most will never consider how everything is connected and many of these "Leadership" and "Laws of Attraction" books can help them better understand what the opposite sex needs in order to be happy and successful in their relationship. But to be honest, it is all so simple. Just keep doing what so many have done for thousands of years... Men keep your heart closed and Women keep giving yours away constantly til the man your looking for eventually decides to settle.

Author's Note:
I would like to give a big shout out to those men out there that have found a woman that they are free to love and appreciate and most importantly share their hearts with on a daily basis without settling or the fear of loosing the center of their universe.
(I would name a few but I am nervous to leave anyone out. The 6/7 of you know who you are and I am envious).

More Author's Notes:
People (ladies especially but not limited too), don't be afraid to comment this post. If your only texting, messaging or emailing me personally, then your missing the point of why I wrote this article. Which is to help my brothers and sisters learn how to grow their relationships stronger. Many of the things questions, opinions and comments you have sent me personally will help the rest of our family as well.

Finally, Last Word:
A point that I think many are missing is that we must all know thy self. We must figure out and learn what is most important to us as well as what we are willing to settle for.
What will ultimately make us happy that is actually achievable.

Dec 8, 2012

+~+ "Your Struggle is My Struggle" +~+

I was watching a NBC's Today Show editorial on Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker and how he is eating for a week on $30 of Food Stamps and all the struggles it entails. I have always tried to explain to people that we are a neighborhood, societal and global community and what our neighbors struggle with is also our struggle.

I have lived in some pretty awesome neighborhoods. In houses, condos and apartments and it has always seem that I end up wedged between some pretty great people. Across all nationalities and cultures I have noticed one thing about them all. They have all been very hard working and dedicated to living strong and making it in America. Another thing is that they have all been either blue collar or civil servants (contractors, nurses, teachers, plumbers, law enforcement, etc...,).

Rather Conservative or Liberal these are all the individuals that have built this country to what it is today. These are the little guys and these little guys struggle just like everyone else. Some of these very hard working families are living below the poverty line or just a paycheck or two from being homeless.

I have also found some of these neighbors to have struggles that many of us do not know about. They have had spouses and/or children suffering from mortal diseases like cancer, kidney failure and heart disease (and many others to just name a few). I've had neighbors and friends with Autistic children, deaf children, blind children and different muscular problems and they are continue to work hard.

When are blessed with so many opportunities, rather it is finances or family or education. We should never forget that these neighbors were also cruising along on the same ship as we were not to long ago and just like it happened to them...It can happen to anyone of us. SO do not judge every man or woman you see on a food stamp program or receiving some sort of government assistance. They are all not lazy and your brothers and sisters need your help from time to time.

Blessings My People

NBC Today Show Video:

Dec 7, 2012

~~+~~ "A Million Words Written to Save Myself" ~~+~~

The rhythmic clicking of keys have been saving my soul and elevating my morale for over 2 decades now.

I have written story after story and poem after poem.
Written essay of inspiration and rants of motivation.

I've written words that begged you to listen in attempts that I could just possibly hear something different and new for myself.
With hundred-thousand words I spread a donor-centric philanthropy philosophy like the plague hoping my body becomes infected
Wrote words that hoisted the weight the world upon neck and spine praying that one day I could repay the universe.

I'm ready to pay in my final days
Give forth everything I've ever taken because life is worthless unless you've given to a man which could never repay you.

So I Write These Words
A million plus words searching for my serenity,
seeking my survival and surrendering my soul to you
Surrendering my self to you
Hoping to save myself and you
Praying that one day my appearance would be appreciated and greatly respected
Fighting for a rich heart cloaked beneath a tattered and torn coat

Wishing that one day these million words written will help me to save My Self...

Dec 6, 2012

***+*** "...I Followed Many Leads..." ***+***

I have always had a pretty intense perplexity in life when it comes to decision making. I have never known when it is best to follow your head or follow your heart. I have made a great number of decisions in life best off of both and when I look back at those decisions it seems like I just become even more confused.

I have always been the type of man that has leaned more towards following my heart and it has gotten me into a great number of hairy situations but also the same remains true with my head. The greater difference I've noticed is that when I do follow my heart, it seems that I end having an experience that I wouldn't trade for all the world's riches. I have had relationships that did not make a drop of sense rationally but through those relationships I have also made friends that are closer than family could ever be. If I didn't follow my heart in 2005, I never would have met Jade and Ayden (my stepson and daughter) and they are the greatest gift this world has ever given me. If I had never followed my heart in the 90s, I would have stayed in school, never had any type of career in entertainment and that would have been unfortunate.

When I look back on my life I realize that my biggest regrets come from my rational thinking intruding on what my heart desires. When I think about it if I had that time machine and I could go back and right some of my regrets, they would 95% consist of the times I let my rational thinking make decisions that my heart disagreed with.

When I look back and question the morality of my head versus heart decisions, I notice one thing that stands out greatly. I am an individual that has great moral fiber and responsibility. I view mankind as my brothers and sisters (worldwide community) and hold tight to the theory that we all pay rent for our space on this earth through our philanthropy. Because of this ingrain gene that I have never been able to deny with success, I see most of my rational choices have been selfish or less moral than my hearts's truest desire. When I make decisions based on rational perspectives I notice them to be more material driven.

Example 1:

Every Thanksgiving I have to decide between playing football with friends and family, helping in the preparation of dinner or going to a soup kitchen and/or shelter and feeding the homeless. I know that when I do the ladders activity, I end up feeling substantially better that I followed my heart's desire to do something that was bigger than myself.

Example 2:

When I rededicated my life to the church in 2003, I was lost because I was not sure if hop-hip was still the best career choice for me or the world at the time. I was not sure if I was ready to undertake the responsibility of switching from being an urban street rapper into praise and worship gospel artist. I then followed my rational thinking and quit the music industry. My problem with this decision was if I followed my heart I would have continued to make music that lifted the souls and minds of young people around world. I would have made a greater impact if I did not let my mind dictate my direction and believe that I could never make as an artist that could preach in the streets over preaching to the choir.

Today, I now realize that with doctors telling me that my time here on the planet is very limited, I decided that I can not waste time doing things that do not make my heart happy. Life is to precious to make decisions based on long term outcomes that may never manifest. I must take chances and live in the day. After all, it is not how many years in your life you live but how many times you live life in your years.

Nov 27, 2012


Good Morning Family

Yesterday I got some negative news and admittedly I took it pretty roughly.

I not only lost out on job as a commercial driver but found out I lost control of my diabetes, hyper-tension and renal failure (kidneys) but also there is blood in my urine. Obviously, I'm sure it's to imagine that it was not easy being told and reminded that once again, you will die within the next decade (especially, after fighting so hard to reverse and resend these health issues just 9/10 months ago).

I do not tell you this looking for sympathy for myself but as a testimony to all my younger friends, family and followers. When we are in are younger adult lives, 20s and 30s, we believe that we are for the most part immortal. We eat, drink and smoke like there is no tomorrow and dismiss the thought that these harmful health & life choices will more than likely catch up with us. The reality is that it does catch up and for me it has.

Today, (like a year and a half ago) I face not only the reality of my poor health cutting my life short but more importantly and definitely more stressful, leaving behind my love ones to bury me. Many of us have children, spouses and other love ones that depend on us. Some of you have been trying desperately to begin families as I had been for many years. Alcohol, drugs found in our processed foods, the 200+ drugs other than THC found in marijuana and the 50+ additional drugs outside of nicotine found in cigarettes are killing us and leaving many love ones broken and forced to keep moving on after we are already gone.

I hope I am not sounding completely preachy at this point. God knows I have already lived my life of excess, free spirited and care-free like a constant party, making me sound like a complete hypocrite. I just want you to know that the blunts, burgers and beers seem harmless now but it sucks when your sitting on that exam table in the doctor's office and they're telling you how your time is limited. When the doctor is speaking and all you can think about is who do you talk to to beg for more time. When your pulling out of the parking lot and you just remember how you signed a 48 month loan on a Nissan that you must figure out how to pay off so no one will be stuck with your bill. You think of mortgage and rent? You think of who will walk your daughter down the aisle at her wedding? Who will give your son advice? Who will love them and care for them like you do?

My new reality begins today and I can not change that but you can.

Just Think About It....

Nov 1, 2012


I whisper words of endearment that lack wisdom
daily begging to be forgiven but no one's feeling it
so I'm ripping, my heart from my chest much like a rose deep rooted
but have you ever imagined the tears of the garden when her children are executed
& again,
your told to just give-up
your told that fighting is futile
your told it's an impossible mission your facing
your told that being happy and being sane are an impossible combination

Please give me patience, wisdom and the understanding to continue living
because surviving and contentment breeds resentment and I don't know how to be giving
anything less than 360%...I need to fight for life like your son did
but I need to know did Adam cry when you took his rib?
How did you not cry when they executed your kid?
Teach me how to live and how to except it when my compassion is under-appreciated
How to put me first and how to move forward and not let my heart be contaminated 
Teach me to fish everyday with a smile on my face, insane and unashamed
Believe in Love, continue the fight and the courage to continue the path unafraid

Oct 20, 2012

Who Stole My Smile

Grand Larceny
The world's greatest smile has been stolen...
Lifted like a thief in the night
Completely inconceivable that I could wake-up this morning and it was missing
No Note, No Randsom, No Clues
It just vanished
Disappeared into the distance and I couldn't even say goodbye
and I am not talking about a regular pass a stranger smile
I mean the greatest smile ever
Marvelous & Magnificent in Spirit
Perfect in Splender
The Rarest of Rare, Irreplacable
Brilliant & Beautiful the essence of angelic presence
A smile that could cut the silence with thunderous roar
Illuminate the night like lightening
Motivate a mountain to move
and gave the oceans waves
A smile that made sunshine envious every day
and it was just taken away

and like the yellow satelite we call a sun it was the center of my universe
I made my heart beat, blood flow and emotions rage with the power of a hundred volcanos
It made grass grow, flowers bloom gave me sight through the absence of light
and when I say I miss it, I mean my earth is no longer spinning without it
and now it is impossible to get my day started without my smile
and now I just sit thinking of how could I ever locate my smile again
I just want to know how I begin to live again when someone has stolen my smile

(if you have my smile please give it back)

Oct 19, 2012


45 Days Sober

"American Book of Dependency" (chapter: 9 verse: Mine)

Refined Floride H2O
Dopamine Adrenaline Rush
Crush Impulsive Instincts & Chemical Intimacy
We Think We Free When We Free to Fulfill Consumption & Social Co-Dependency
American Daydreams of Attention Deficit Hyper-Active Obsessive Compulsive Disoreder
We Run and Order Another Prescription
Listen to the Music so We can Remote Mind Control Out of Reality
Direct Televison Skipping 400 Channels of Flickering Hypnotic Images
Mentally Masturbating Over Internet Connections Creating One on One Sexual Orgasm
Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans vs Chips Ohoy & Oreos
Xbox & PS3 vs Pepsi & Coke-a-Cola

So When was the Last Time You were Completely SOBER?

Oct 15, 2012

The Long Road Home

Passion unparalleled by anything in our universe
the heart of a gift/cursed conquering king who knew desire
knew Love
knew Determination
but he never knew Peace

never knew his God complex and sharp poetic Shakespeare quick tongue would cut his own throat
knew the taste of his own blood soaked, saturated and stained teeth
knew the speech that swept feet and pushed heads through clouds
knew how to inflate hearts to float miles beyond reality
knew love & knew better but still let his desire filled heart take lead

his passion unparalleled by anything in our universe 
the heart of a gift/cursed conquering king who knew the great faith that fought daily with common sense
he knew hyper-intellectual thought so a lust for wisdom was his second nature
his philosophy...psycho-analytically driven by family and co-dependency
his virtue challenged by material but dominated by his own toxic self-righteousness
his determination fueled his passion
desire dictating the directions of a love inebriated heart and often times frustrated flashing temper

his passion...

unparalleled by anything in our universe

his heart...
gifted & cursed
he is a conquering king motivated by a will that moved mountains
he knew most could not conceive the thoughts of an aging dictator that would rather burn the road to contentment and live his remaining existence trapped in struggle so that his death may be his only progressive goal accomplished
the soul of a gift/cured conquering king who would rather sacrifice than be given anything unearned
who strived to move forward because just moving on is worse than standing stagnant

a gifted & cursed conquering king that would rather stand in the same place as long as it was known he was standing for everything he he held supreme

Oct 14, 2012

I am the Definition of Co-Dependency"

"I am the definition of Co-Dependency
Desperate for Family
an example of the inability & lack of desire to survive with just me
I am a city boy that hates to be alone
craves human contact
and solitary confinement is the worse possible punish I can imagine
I'm a social butterfly with the motivation and heart of an army ant
I hunt in the pack of piranha and the school is my home 
I am God creating angels and humans cause even he didn't like being alone 
I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware with an army 
Jesus His Disciples, 
Moses in the Desert, 
MLK in Montgomery, 
Malcolm X in Harlem 
and a Million Man March doing my part so together we can find freedom 
because I've been realized that if there is no You then there can be no Me 
then there's No Family...No Unity 
so Yes, I am the definition of Co-Dependency 
Never ashamed to say I am created through God's reflection in my brother's image 
What ancestors and forefathers spoke of when the uttered the words, "It Takes a Village" 
The courage to stand with you, besides you and in front you ready to take that bullet 
so I'm proudly announcing that I would stand amonst the masses arm and arm, marching & moving forward with you 
I am Co-Dependency asking you to stand with me and write a legendary future history."

-Uncle Salaam...10-14-2012
I can not begin to explain to anyone reading this all the reasons why I wrote this piece. However, I do have a few, important thoughts I will expound on right now. The first being that I have had recent communication with my ex-girlfriend and flat out we have completely different philosophies on independence. My second feeling of motivation came from being raised in a big family (immediate and extended), a large inner-city Catholic church and growing up influenced by the culture of team sports (football, basketball, baseball & volleyball). I watched my parents help many others in our church and community. In turn not only was I exposed to these practices of family and philanthropy but had it instilled and drilled into my every molecule of being. Rather it is globally, family, in our work environment or neighborhoods, we all have to work, build and live together. We are all dependent on one another. No one has made significant progress without the help of another. No matter how much we would like to believe that we do things on our own, there is also someone we owe a thank you to when we accomplish a goal. Someone has usually sacrificed to give us the opportunity to achieve. Rather it was was an underpaid teacher or over-worked nurse, if it is the unseen woman or man that stood up against fascist and civil terrorism so that our generation would have the opportunity to pursue our dreams. Even the judges, lawyers, police and corrections officers that held the criminal opportunist at bay while we pursue and pursued our goals deserve some credit (because I could image it to be pretty difficult to conduct business or study for a college exam when there is a sociopathic guerrilla kicking in your door with a hunting knife or assault riffle). 

 Now I understand that through sheer stubbornness there will be those whom disagree with my philosophy. To all those individuals I offer you the opportunity of proving me wrong by moving to the middle of a desert or forrest and becoming a hermit. Rely on no one but yourself for food, clothing and lodging and then we can talk. Now I know what your thinking, and yes, it is possible but my stipulation for an argument is that you do it. 

To my rational and intelligently thinking and motivated truth seekers reading this blog that are still unconvinced that co-dependency is not only natural but needed in our society, I offer one last example for you. I think we can all agree that George Washington by example was beyond most all individual's definitions of great. Take our nation glorious general and place him at the Battle of Princeton in 1777 completely alone facing thousands of British soldiers and he will stomped to death by red coats until there is no body left to identify. Is there anyone that can seriously conceive the possible notion of a positive outcome for our illustrious first President, never. Let us also add Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to this argument. Lets place him marching alone in Montgomery, Alabama surrounded by hundreds of violent racist bigots carrying stones, sticks and  bottles and we can also imagine that outcome to look exactly the same as the first. Now you take that same General Washington and that same Dr. King, surround them with hundreds of individuals who think as they do and feel like they do and the situations change drastically. Now tell me again how being co-dependent is unhealthy.

Aug 9, 2012

Death of a God

My Head, Heart & Soul have Imploded within
So what u see is a shell of a man
nothing but darkness behind my eyes

Jul 3, 2012

Contentment vs Accomplishment

Have you ever felt like you were broken? Had a completely overwhelming feeling that you were never going to be good enough to accomplish your truest and deepest desires in life? Rather it be marriage, family, children, job, your education, a relationship with a family member, a stronger relationship with your children or any goal you have in life. You just felt like you weren't built to conquer the one life goal. It especially hurts when you think you are good enough to do it but when you fail, you become overcome with the feeling of giving up. It's hard because the easier giving up is, I think the more dangerous it actually is for us as functional, responsible individuals. The easier we find ways at copping means that we will never focus on what is keeping us from being the greatest we can be and conquering our darkest demons.

We find contentment with the person we are today so that we do not have to face that reality that we need improvement to become the person we feel the desire to become tomorrow, always knowing we are worth so much more. The internal fire rages from time to time with passion and desire to achieve and we know that contentment will never satisfy us. We ultimately do whatever is necessary to not feel broken, even when we know it is not the right choice. We turn to destructive patterns of living, surrounding ourselves with people and engulfing ourselves in environments that will keep us from realizing our greatest levels of achievement. Most times we know it is destructive but if we don't face it and cope, we think everything will just be alright.

Everyone has a has a value level set for themselves. Unfortunately, it takes many levels of accomplishment to completely, truly and honestly know that we have succeeded. So we accomplish what we can and bust our arms patting ourselves on the back in the mean-while. I have done this action a million times over again. I know that I am not complete but it is easier to focus on my accomplishments than it is to face larger goals that feel impossible to fulfill. In the end, a trail will arise to remind me that I am not done with "ME" yet. Trust me, I know it sucks to feel great about life and all of a sudden have a situation remind you of that imperfection within that we have so well learned to ignore and forgive. The type of situation that no matter how far you run it is always there and it always reveals it's head in the most untimely fashions.

Recently I had an aggressive life changing experience that reminded just how broken I am. I am Emotionally Imbalance! I will become so angry that I would fight a lion, tiger, bear and anything else that stood in my way. I have always known and realized I had an over abundance of emotion but I have always found ways to excuse it. I would say, "That's just me, I am the way I am, it is who I was meant to be and I can't change it". Even more emphatically hysterical, I would practice my favorite quote of ease, cope and the ultimate cop out, "God made me this way for a reason, He has a plan for me". Honestly, I can not afford to believe this. I know that I am not Jesus but I refuse to be Judas, which means I will not accept that God's desire or the Universal will for me is to be destine for fulfilling a negative destiny.The truth is that there is a changeable flaw within me and I am trying work through it. I know I will never be happy in life settling for being lessor than the man I want or need to be. Any continuance of living through the actions of contentment will never make me happy. I am happy when I am succeeding and anything less is unacceptable. Working on being the person I truly want to be is a full-time job complete with ever larger than the last setbacks. I will always reach a level of comfort, convenience and confidence and begin to believe that I have conquered all. Unfortunately, the world does not work that way, so trails, tribulations and conflict arise to test my stability. Almost with the of Big Ben's inner clock-workings, I begin to fulfill  the prophecy of feeling failure so again I will flee.

The amazing difference in my most recent setbacks I have faced is that instead of anger management situations, they were the emotions of love that moved beyond my control. Now I have understood for the better part of 10 years now that my emotional instability was more than my lack of controlling my anger but actually not having a handle on any of my emotions in any direction. I  have always exploded when I felt strongly about anyone or anything. Rather I am In Love or I am Angry, I Go Hard. In the past I have built the tools necessary to control my anger and so in turn I would believe that I am healed or resolved of my "Incredible Hulk Conflict". This was because I would deny the reality that my emotions were completely out of control in every aspect. With every passing situation I gained more insight on my anger but never would not always examine the total emotional package.

I think the most difficult part of accepting I have a complete emotional problem is also accepting the fact that my pure potent passion have always been poured into my poetry, music, arts, philanthropy and my humanist disposition. I have a gift and a curse and balancing this gift and curse is the hardest test I have faced in life. Greater than any and all material accolades or societal achievement. I have to be the man that I have to be and no temporary cheap thrill will fulfill that.

Being honest with myself is admitting that I struggle most in my dating patterns. I have experienced relationships with women that I have felt strongly about (some more than others) and I have promised marriage to women that I loved rationally but knew I did not have that burning desire for. I would seek out relationships of convenience in order to better deal with my emotional dysfunction. It was easier for me to conceal, confine and/or deny myself an emotional connection than face the disappointment and fear of never fulfilling my goals, desires, dreams and achieving true self-satisfaction.

Recently, I had a relationship end with an awesome woman. I thought she could, should and would be my wife. Unfortunately the balance and my stability of emotional control were not there. I was going incredibly hard and I knew it but had no desire to stop. As the relationship ended, my emotions spiraled even further out of control and angry and madness took over. The one thing I learned is that the feelings I had for her let me know that settling is not an option or something I can ever do. None of the casual dating, philandering, random sexual encounters or rational long-term relationships will work for me. I acknowledge that I am broken but not beyond repair. I am facing what is broken about me, I will work through my short comings so that I may fulfill my purest desire.