So link over and Enjoy ;-)
Dec 22, 2012
SuperSalaam.blogspot.com
I have created a new blog in connection with this one. It will document my journey towards better health. I decided to separate the two blogs because I feel this one is more dedicated to my Spiritual and Mental growth and my Physical health needed its own personal outlet.
So link over and Enjoy ;-)
So link over and Enjoy ;-)
Dec 17, 2012
"COURAGEOUS Soul...COURAGEOUS Heart"
After having a text conversation with a friend, I watched the movie, "Courageous." It was an awesome picture, very highly motivating. I can not believe that I had not heard much about this movie before. I mean, I had heard of it but only one person that I did not know told me it was a must see. I am not sure if it is because I have not spent many days or nights around the church in the last year but none the less, I have not heard to much about it.
As I began to watch it, all I could think about was this is what I want for my life. I have always known that I am the type of man that takes responsibility for another's life. I know that I must be the best man I can be. The best example that I can be. The best role model and provider that I can be. A great father and supportive husband. A giant of a man amongst so many that have been falling short.
Growing up an athlete (especially in sports like football) thought me how to be a responsible and loyal member of a family and a team player. Football is the only sport where if one man does not do his job for one fraction of a second they whole play will fall apart and someone can get seriously injured. I was also raised in a Catholic home with both my parents and being the youngest of 4 siblings. My dad was a Vietnam veteran who spoke with a stern tone, punished with a Texan heavy iron fist and had the heart of Mother Teresa. He was a man that showed very little passion, cried less than a handful of times but has always had a brotherly love for our neighbors. My mother wore her emotions on her sleeve and was completely outward with her generosity and giving spirit.
Growing up in a family like this kept many people whom needed help in and out of our home. If we weren't taking in a family friend, then there was a someone that we were giving a ride to school, work or church. Some of the individuals that I had the pleasure of sharing our with with are still in my life today and they are never considered anything less than family. Some people that I met only needed a place to stay for a night or a week or so and I will never forget them either.
When I watched the movie "Courageous" I could only think of my father and the man that he is and was. I realized that though my mother was the main lobbyer for many of these people (mostly children, teenage and pre-teen) to stay with us, it took a magnificently great man to stand in agreement with a such a huge hearted woman.
I remember the day my dad was working his second job as a security guard in the mid to late 90s.He called my mother to warn her that while he was patrolling a rather large city park, he had come across a mother and her 19 year old mentally disabled son and they were sleeping beneath there. It informed my mother that he was going to bring them home and in the mother she (my mother) would have to help them find a shelter that would allow her to keep her son with her. He arrived home no longer than 10 to 15 minutes later with this mother and older son to bedroom setting that I was instantly ordered to provide for them. This is the type of thing that happened regularly in our home and I could see no other better way to come of age.
My father was and is a Courageous man. He has had his struggles and has in no way been perfect but he has always been perfect for my family. He has stood besides my mother that has fought a debilitating and mortal disability known as Sarcoidosis (originally diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis). He has worked 40 plus years to provide for me and my siblings. He took in many family members, our childhood friends and people he had only known for 5/10 minutes. He is undoubtedly one of the main reasons I am a man today that lives through my heart's desires and thinks on a social and community level. He is exactly that father and husband that I strive to be.
As I began to watch it, all I could think about was this is what I want for my life. I have always known that I am the type of man that takes responsibility for another's life. I know that I must be the best man I can be. The best example that I can be. The best role model and provider that I can be. A great father and supportive husband. A giant of a man amongst so many that have been falling short.
Growing up an athlete (especially in sports like football) thought me how to be a responsible and loyal member of a family and a team player. Football is the only sport where if one man does not do his job for one fraction of a second they whole play will fall apart and someone can get seriously injured. I was also raised in a Catholic home with both my parents and being the youngest of 4 siblings. My dad was a Vietnam veteran who spoke with a stern tone, punished with a Texan heavy iron fist and had the heart of Mother Teresa. He was a man that showed very little passion, cried less than a handful of times but has always had a brotherly love for our neighbors. My mother wore her emotions on her sleeve and was completely outward with her generosity and giving spirit.
Growing up in a family like this kept many people whom needed help in and out of our home. If we weren't taking in a family friend, then there was a someone that we were giving a ride to school, work or church. Some of the individuals that I had the pleasure of sharing our with with are still in my life today and they are never considered anything less than family. Some people that I met only needed a place to stay for a night or a week or so and I will never forget them either.
When I watched the movie "Courageous" I could only think of my father and the man that he is and was. I realized that though my mother was the main lobbyer for many of these people (mostly children, teenage and pre-teen) to stay with us, it took a magnificently great man to stand in agreement with a such a huge hearted woman.
I remember the day my dad was working his second job as a security guard in the mid to late 90s.He called my mother to warn her that while he was patrolling a rather large city park, he had come across a mother and her 19 year old mentally disabled son and they were sleeping beneath there. It informed my mother that he was going to bring them home and in the mother she (my mother) would have to help them find a shelter that would allow her to keep her son with her. He arrived home no longer than 10 to 15 minutes later with this mother and older son to bedroom setting that I was instantly ordered to provide for them. This is the type of thing that happened regularly in our home and I could see no other better way to come of age.
My father was and is a Courageous man. He has had his struggles and has in no way been perfect but he has always been perfect for my family. He has stood besides my mother that has fought a debilitating and mortal disability known as Sarcoidosis (originally diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis). He has worked 40 plus years to provide for me and my siblings. He took in many family members, our childhood friends and people he had only known for 5/10 minutes. He is undoubtedly one of the main reasons I am a man today that lives through my heart's desires and thinks on a social and community level. He is exactly that father and husband that I strive to be.
Dec 9, 2012
Tag...Your It (chasing what you can't catch)
Good Day People of a Higher Understanding...
This morning I awakened from a very short slumber with quite a bit on my mind. Before I went to bed last night I was texting three different women friends in my life, all with whom were seeking the same advice, "Why is this relationship game so hard to understand?"
I heard every question from, "Am I not young enough anymore? Am I just not beautiful enough anymore? Am I just not desirable? Why doesn't he want me?" and my personal favorite, "Why do so many men I date desire me and beg for me hand in marriage but the one I seem to want does not desire to settle down?" With that being my personal favorite, I will use this as the context for today's post.
So let's start with the ladder, "Why do so many men desire me but the one I seem to want not want to settle down?" It is simple really, humans desire what they can not have. It is all about the chase. We have all heard the parable, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush." No matter how many times we hear colorful euphemisms like this, we never get the point. I mean we get it, but we never know how to apply it at the right times. We can never see or appreciate the beauty of what is right in front of us because we are to busy looking for what is better. We see what others have and believe that we want the greener grass just as they have.
There is also a deeper reality but still it is also simple. Look around you. How many relationships are you aware of that the man is more yoked than the woman and yet are still functional? The answer is blatant, not very many (actually, I see none). Over time a man chasing a woman is seen as weak. No matter who this man is and what he has accomplished in life, it is a sign of weakness to women if a man places her upon a pedestal. If he shares to much emotion, then he is weak. If he chases her or is displays everyday passion, then he is weak. A woman never wants a man that is co-dependent. She doesn't want to know that he's world would end if she leaves. She wants to feel that she is desired but never needed. Picking out his clothes or making a meal is great but it's very rare she wants to feel like he will stop existing if she is no longer there.
I know that this sounds odd and I hate to paint the picture that this is how every relationship is but 99.99% seem to work this way. Woman do not desire a man that would move across country for a women's job but they would rather have a man that would give them the ultimatum of following them or falling off if he needs to relocate at the drop of a dime. They want a man that can lead. The Woman's Right Movement has only come so far in this psychological understanding. Most women still secretly desire to be told what to do by their significant other, or as we would say back in the day,"What's Deal Is."
This has been true since the beginning of time. I have proven it, tried and tested, and seen it work many times for myself. If I show a woman the bare minimum of interest, she will follow me like I am God. If I tell a woman that she has my heart and pledge my unwavering commitment to her, then I would lose her. I have held many women at bay to only have them continue with more vigor after every time I let them know that I like them but I am not interested in settling down. To be honest if this is true for me then it must be something to it, because as Notorious B.I.G. said, "I'm a heartthrob never, black and ugly as ever. However...." Somehow, I still managed to step through some exclusive doors with models on my elbow.
I can even proceed a step further. Imagine the relationships where the men chase the women. Do you see these relationships as functional or do you see these women as settling? We look at these relationships and see something unnatural. When in fact, these relationships are where usually the most love lives. Why, because the men are actually involved in the emotional side of the relationship and when you have a man that loves a woman so much he can not stop telling her, then you have something very special there. Unfortunately, the natural cycle of our nature does not allow for a man to ever be so vulnerable because most every woman are seeking strength and dominance. They don't see a compromising man as fit or strong. They see him as weak or as a weenie. You can't head the household if you can't head the relationship. Women are natural nurturers and if a man becomes that nurturer than the woman looses interest.
If you do not believe me. Then think of the last man who asked you to move in with him. You denied that man but sat around hoping that the man that is denying you, would pose that same proposition. It is not that the second man is a better suit for you, on the contrary he is the total opposite. He is unavailable and unwilling to compromise but since that is a challenge and he is not easy. You see having this man as more of being worthy with than the first. The second man will never appreciate you as the first does but this is actually a desirable trait to you. Unfortunately, most women do not figure this out until after 5/10 years of marriage and 2/3 children. But go ahead and marry that second man and do not be surprised when he is carrying on a relationships with a co-worker or the coffee girl on his route.
Finally, the best way I can explain it is to look at the prize factor. Men see women as a great compromise and women see men a prize. The difference is that a man can settle for a lessor prize and a woman can't. Her determination will not allow her to be with someone that is not a top draft pick. As for a man, we see it as who treats us the best in combination with who looks the best as being the winners. We easily settle for convenience over love or commitment. We seek those that will take care of us like our mothers or like we think our mother should have. Women can not settle for just that. They must be made to feel like whatever they are doing is never quite good enough. In a relationship they desire to keep working harder and harder to be the woman that man desires. If we reaffirm their insecurities and tell them that they are exactly what we desire repetitively then they have nothing to strive for. If they we become content, then they loose interest. If we show to much attention, they loose interest.
Now I understand that many of you might think I am full to the bulging of my expresso brown eyeballs and I have know idea what I am talking about (and I just might have it all wrong). This is just an unproven philosophy that I found through observation and studying. I have read a few hundred books on relationships written by psychologist and psychiatrist alike and several dozen written by actual "street pimps" on the art and laws of how to get and maintain that working girl. I have also journeyed as far as to incorporate the philosophies I've discovered through management and sales courses (the "How to be a Successful CEO" books and symposiums).
Unfortunately, most will never consider how everything is connected and many of these "Leadership" and "Laws of Attraction" books can help them better understand what the opposite sex needs in order to be happy and successful in their relationship. But to be honest, it is all so simple. Just keep doing what so many have done for thousands of years... Men keep your heart closed and Women keep giving yours away constantly til the man your looking for eventually decides to settle.
Author's Note:
I would like to give a big shout out to those men out there that have found a woman that they are free to love and appreciate and most importantly share their hearts with on a daily basis without settling or the fear of loosing the center of their universe.
(I would name a few but I am nervous to leave anyone out. The 6/7 of you know who you are and I am envious).
More Author's Notes:
People (ladies especially but not limited too), don't be afraid to comment this post. If your only texting, messaging or emailing me personally, then your missing the point of why I wrote this article. Which is to help my brothers and sisters learn how to grow their relationships stronger. Many of the things questions, opinions and comments you have sent me personally will help the rest of our family as well.
Finally, Last Word:
A point that I think many are missing is that we must all know thy self. We must figure out and learn what is most important to us as well as what we are willing to settle for.
What will ultimately make us happy that is actually achievable.
This morning I awakened from a very short slumber with quite a bit on my mind. Before I went to bed last night I was texting three different women friends in my life, all with whom were seeking the same advice, "Why is this relationship game so hard to understand?"
I heard every question from, "Am I not young enough anymore? Am I just not beautiful enough anymore? Am I just not desirable? Why doesn't he want me?" and my personal favorite, "Why do so many men I date desire me and beg for me hand in marriage but the one I seem to want does not desire to settle down?" With that being my personal favorite, I will use this as the context for today's post.
So let's start with the ladder, "Why do so many men desire me but the one I seem to want not want to settle down?" It is simple really, humans desire what they can not have. It is all about the chase. We have all heard the parable, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush." No matter how many times we hear colorful euphemisms like this, we never get the point. I mean we get it, but we never know how to apply it at the right times. We can never see or appreciate the beauty of what is right in front of us because we are to busy looking for what is better. We see what others have and believe that we want the greener grass just as they have.
There is also a deeper reality but still it is also simple. Look around you. How many relationships are you aware of that the man is more yoked than the woman and yet are still functional? The answer is blatant, not very many (actually, I see none). Over time a man chasing a woman is seen as weak. No matter who this man is and what he has accomplished in life, it is a sign of weakness to women if a man places her upon a pedestal. If he shares to much emotion, then he is weak. If he chases her or is displays everyday passion, then he is weak. A woman never wants a man that is co-dependent. She doesn't want to know that he's world would end if she leaves. She wants to feel that she is desired but never needed. Picking out his clothes or making a meal is great but it's very rare she wants to feel like he will stop existing if she is no longer there.
I know that this sounds odd and I hate to paint the picture that this is how every relationship is but 99.99% seem to work this way. Woman do not desire a man that would move across country for a women's job but they would rather have a man that would give them the ultimatum of following them or falling off if he needs to relocate at the drop of a dime. They want a man that can lead. The Woman's Right Movement has only come so far in this psychological understanding. Most women still secretly desire to be told what to do by their significant other, or as we would say back in the day,"What's Deal Is."
This has been true since the beginning of time. I have proven it, tried and tested, and seen it work many times for myself. If I show a woman the bare minimum of interest, she will follow me like I am God. If I tell a woman that she has my heart and pledge my unwavering commitment to her, then I would lose her. I have held many women at bay to only have them continue with more vigor after every time I let them know that I like them but I am not interested in settling down. To be honest if this is true for me then it must be something to it, because as Notorious B.I.G. said, "I'm a heartthrob never, black and ugly as ever. However...." Somehow, I still managed to step through some exclusive doors with models on my elbow.
I can even proceed a step further. Imagine the relationships where the men chase the women. Do you see these relationships as functional or do you see these women as settling? We look at these relationships and see something unnatural. When in fact, these relationships are where usually the most love lives. Why, because the men are actually involved in the emotional side of the relationship and when you have a man that loves a woman so much he can not stop telling her, then you have something very special there. Unfortunately, the natural cycle of our nature does not allow for a man to ever be so vulnerable because most every woman are seeking strength and dominance. They don't see a compromising man as fit or strong. They see him as weak or as a weenie. You can't head the household if you can't head the relationship. Women are natural nurturers and if a man becomes that nurturer than the woman looses interest.
If you do not believe me. Then think of the last man who asked you to move in with him. You denied that man but sat around hoping that the man that is denying you, would pose that same proposition. It is not that the second man is a better suit for you, on the contrary he is the total opposite. He is unavailable and unwilling to compromise but since that is a challenge and he is not easy. You see having this man as more of being worthy with than the first. The second man will never appreciate you as the first does but this is actually a desirable trait to you. Unfortunately, most women do not figure this out until after 5/10 years of marriage and 2/3 children. But go ahead and marry that second man and do not be surprised when he is carrying on a relationships with a co-worker or the coffee girl on his route.
Finally, the best way I can explain it is to look at the prize factor. Men see women as a great compromise and women see men a prize. The difference is that a man can settle for a lessor prize and a woman can't. Her determination will not allow her to be with someone that is not a top draft pick. As for a man, we see it as who treats us the best in combination with who looks the best as being the winners. We easily settle for convenience over love or commitment. We seek those that will take care of us like our mothers or like we think our mother should have. Women can not settle for just that. They must be made to feel like whatever they are doing is never quite good enough. In a relationship they desire to keep working harder and harder to be the woman that man desires. If we reaffirm their insecurities and tell them that they are exactly what we desire repetitively then they have nothing to strive for. If they we become content, then they loose interest. If we show to much attention, they loose interest.
Now I understand that many of you might think I am full to the bulging of my expresso brown eyeballs and I have know idea what I am talking about (and I just might have it all wrong). This is just an unproven philosophy that I found through observation and studying. I have read a few hundred books on relationships written by psychologist and psychiatrist alike and several dozen written by actual "street pimps" on the art and laws of how to get and maintain that working girl. I have also journeyed as far as to incorporate the philosophies I've discovered through management and sales courses (the "How to be a Successful CEO" books and symposiums).
Unfortunately, most will never consider how everything is connected and many of these "Leadership" and "Laws of Attraction" books can help them better understand what the opposite sex needs in order to be happy and successful in their relationship. But to be honest, it is all so simple. Just keep doing what so many have done for thousands of years... Men keep your heart closed and Women keep giving yours away constantly til the man your looking for eventually decides to settle.
Author's Note:
I would like to give a big shout out to those men out there that have found a woman that they are free to love and appreciate and most importantly share their hearts with on a daily basis without settling or the fear of loosing the center of their universe.
(I would name a few but I am nervous to leave anyone out. The 6/7 of you know who you are and I am envious).
More Author's Notes:
People (ladies especially but not limited too), don't be afraid to comment this post. If your only texting, messaging or emailing me personally, then your missing the point of why I wrote this article. Which is to help my brothers and sisters learn how to grow their relationships stronger. Many of the things questions, opinions and comments you have sent me personally will help the rest of our family as well.
Finally, Last Word:
A point that I think many are missing is that we must all know thy self. We must figure out and learn what is most important to us as well as what we are willing to settle for.
What will ultimately make us happy that is actually achievable.
Dec 8, 2012
+~+ "Your Struggle is My Struggle" +~+
I was watching a NBC's Today Show editorial on Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker and how he is eating for a week on $30 of Food Stamps and all the struggles it entails. I have always tried to explain to people that we are a neighborhood, societal and global community and what our neighbors struggle with is also our struggle.
I have lived in some pretty awesome neighborhoods. In houses, condos and apartments and it has always seem that I end up wedged between some pretty great people. Across all nationalities and cultures I have noticed one thing about them all. They have all been very hard working and dedicated to living strong and making it in America. Another thing is that they have all been either blue collar or civil servants (contractors, nurses, teachers, plumbers, law enforcement, etc...,).
Rather Conservative or Liberal these are all the individuals that have built this country to what it is today. These are the little guys and these little guys struggle just like everyone else. Some of these very hard working families are living below the poverty line or just a paycheck or two from being homeless.
I have also found some of these neighbors to have struggles that many of us do not know about. They have had spouses and/or children suffering from mortal diseases like cancer, kidney failure and heart disease (and many others to just name a few). I've had neighbors and friends with Autistic children, deaf children, blind children and different muscular problems and they are continue to work hard.
When are blessed with so many opportunities, rather it is finances or family or education. We should never forget that these neighbors were also cruising along on the same ship as we were not to long ago and just like it happened to them...It can happen to anyone of us. SO do not judge every man or woman you see on a food stamp program or receiving some sort of government assistance. They are all not lazy and your brothers and sisters need your help from time to time.
Blessings My People
NBC Today Show Video:
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50127953#50127953
I have lived in some pretty awesome neighborhoods. In houses, condos and apartments and it has always seem that I end up wedged between some pretty great people. Across all nationalities and cultures I have noticed one thing about them all. They have all been very hard working and dedicated to living strong and making it in America. Another thing is that they have all been either blue collar or civil servants (contractors, nurses, teachers, plumbers, law enforcement, etc...,).
Rather Conservative or Liberal these are all the individuals that have built this country to what it is today. These are the little guys and these little guys struggle just like everyone else. Some of these very hard working families are living below the poverty line or just a paycheck or two from being homeless.
I have also found some of these neighbors to have struggles that many of us do not know about. They have had spouses and/or children suffering from mortal diseases like cancer, kidney failure and heart disease (and many others to just name a few). I've had neighbors and friends with Autistic children, deaf children, blind children and different muscular problems and they are continue to work hard.
When are blessed with so many opportunities, rather it is finances or family or education. We should never forget that these neighbors were also cruising along on the same ship as we were not to long ago and just like it happened to them...It can happen to anyone of us. SO do not judge every man or woman you see on a food stamp program or receiving some sort of government assistance. They are all not lazy and your brothers and sisters need your help from time to time.
Blessings My People
NBC Today Show Video:
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50127953#50127953
Dec 7, 2012
~~+~~ "A Million Words Written to Save Myself" ~~+~~
The rhythmic clicking of keys have been saving my soul and elevating my morale for over 2 decades now.
I have written story after story and poem after poem.
Written essay of inspiration and rants of motivation.
I've written words that begged you to listen in attempts that I could just possibly hear something different and new for myself.
With hundred-thousand words I spread a donor-centric philanthropy philosophy like the plague hoping my body becomes infected
Wrote words that hoisted the weight the world upon neck and spine praying that one day I could repay the universe.
I'm ready to pay in my final days
Give forth everything I've ever taken because life is worthless unless you've given to a man which could never repay you.
So I Write These Words
A million plus words searching for my serenity,
seeking my survival and surrendering my soul to you
Surrendering my self to you
Hoping to save myself and you
Praying that one day my appearance would be appreciated and greatly respected
Fighting for a rich heart cloaked beneath a tattered and torn coat
Wishing that one day these million words written will help me to save My Self...
I have written story after story and poem after poem.
Written essay of inspiration and rants of motivation.
I've written words that begged you to listen in attempts that I could just possibly hear something different and new for myself.
With hundred-thousand words I spread a donor-centric philanthropy philosophy like the plague hoping my body becomes infected
Wrote words that hoisted the weight the world upon neck and spine praying that one day I could repay the universe.
I'm ready to pay in my final days
Give forth everything I've ever taken because life is worthless unless you've given to a man which could never repay you.
So I Write These Words
A million plus words searching for my serenity,
seeking my survival and surrendering my soul to you
Surrendering my self to you
Hoping to save myself and you
Praying that one day my appearance would be appreciated and greatly respected
Fighting for a rich heart cloaked beneath a tattered and torn coat
Wishing that one day these million words written will help me to save My Self...
Dec 6, 2012
***+*** "...I Followed Many Leads..." ***+***
I have always had a pretty intense perplexity in life when it comes to decision making. I have never known when it is best to follow your head or follow your heart. I have made a great number of decisions in life best off of both and when I look back at those decisions it seems like I just become even more confused.
I have always been the type of man that has leaned more towards following my heart and it has gotten me into a great number of hairy situations but also the same remains true with my head. The greater difference I've noticed is that when I do follow my heart, it seems that I end having an experience that I wouldn't trade for all the world's riches. I have had relationships that did not make a drop of sense rationally but through those relationships I have also made friends that are closer than family could ever be. If I didn't follow my heart in 2005, I never would have met Jade and Ayden (my stepson and daughter) and they are the greatest gift this world has ever given me. If I had never followed my heart in the 90s, I would have stayed in school, never had any type of career in entertainment and that would have been unfortunate.
When I look back on my life I realize that my biggest regrets come from my rational thinking intruding on what my heart desires. When I think about it if I had that time machine and I could go back and right some of my regrets, they would 95% consist of the times I let my rational thinking make decisions that my heart disagreed with.
When I look back and question the morality of my head versus heart decisions, I notice one thing that stands out greatly. I am an individual that has great moral fiber and responsibility. I view mankind as my brothers and sisters (worldwide community) and hold tight to the theory that we all pay rent for our space on this earth through our philanthropy. Because of this ingrain gene that I have never been able to deny with success, I see most of my rational choices have been selfish or less moral than my hearts's truest desire. When I make decisions based on rational perspectives I notice them to be more material driven.
Example 1:
Every Thanksgiving I have to decide between playing football with friends and family, helping in the preparation of dinner or going to a soup kitchen and/or shelter and feeding the homeless. I know that when I do the ladders activity, I end up feeling substantially better that I followed my heart's desire to do something that was bigger than myself.
Example 2:
When I rededicated my life to the church in 2003, I was lost because I was not sure if hop-hip was still the best career choice for me or the world at the time. I was not sure if I was ready to undertake the responsibility of switching from being an urban street rapper into praise and worship gospel artist. I then followed my rational thinking and quit the music industry. My problem with this decision was if I followed my heart I would have continued to make music that lifted the souls and minds of young people around world. I would have made a greater impact if I did not let my mind dictate my direction and believe that I could never make as an artist that could preach in the streets over preaching to the choir.
Today, I now realize that with doctors telling me that my time here on the planet is very limited, I decided that I can not waste time doing things that do not make my heart happy. Life is to precious to make decisions based on long term outcomes that may never manifest. I must take chances and live in the day. After all, it is not how many years in your life you live but how many times you live life in your years.
I have always been the type of man that has leaned more towards following my heart and it has gotten me into a great number of hairy situations but also the same remains true with my head. The greater difference I've noticed is that when I do follow my heart, it seems that I end having an experience that I wouldn't trade for all the world's riches. I have had relationships that did not make a drop of sense rationally but through those relationships I have also made friends that are closer than family could ever be. If I didn't follow my heart in 2005, I never would have met Jade and Ayden (my stepson and daughter) and they are the greatest gift this world has ever given me. If I had never followed my heart in the 90s, I would have stayed in school, never had any type of career in entertainment and that would have been unfortunate.
When I look back on my life I realize that my biggest regrets come from my rational thinking intruding on what my heart desires. When I think about it if I had that time machine and I could go back and right some of my regrets, they would 95% consist of the times I let my rational thinking make decisions that my heart disagreed with.
When I look back and question the morality of my head versus heart decisions, I notice one thing that stands out greatly. I am an individual that has great moral fiber and responsibility. I view mankind as my brothers and sisters (worldwide community) and hold tight to the theory that we all pay rent for our space on this earth through our philanthropy. Because of this ingrain gene that I have never been able to deny with success, I see most of my rational choices have been selfish or less moral than my hearts's truest desire. When I make decisions based on rational perspectives I notice them to be more material driven.
Example 1:
Every Thanksgiving I have to decide between playing football with friends and family, helping in the preparation of dinner or going to a soup kitchen and/or shelter and feeding the homeless. I know that when I do the ladders activity, I end up feeling substantially better that I followed my heart's desire to do something that was bigger than myself.
Example 2:
When I rededicated my life to the church in 2003, I was lost because I was not sure if hop-hip was still the best career choice for me or the world at the time. I was not sure if I was ready to undertake the responsibility of switching from being an urban street rapper into praise and worship gospel artist. I then followed my rational thinking and quit the music industry. My problem with this decision was if I followed my heart I would have continued to make music that lifted the souls and minds of young people around world. I would have made a greater impact if I did not let my mind dictate my direction and believe that I could never make as an artist that could preach in the streets over preaching to the choir.
Today, I now realize that with doctors telling me that my time here on the planet is very limited, I decided that I can not waste time doing things that do not make my heart happy. Life is to precious to make decisions based on long term outcomes that may never manifest. I must take chances and live in the day. After all, it is not how many years in your life you live but how many times you live life in your years.
Nov 27, 2012
DYING TO LIVE & LIVING TO DIE
Good Morning Family
I do not tell you this looking for sympathy for myself but as a testimony to all my younger friends, family and followers. When we are in are younger adult lives, 20s and 30s, we believe that we are for the most part immortal. We eat, drink and smoke like there is no tomorrow and dismiss the thought that these harmful health & life choices will more than likely catch up with us. The reality is that it does catch up and for me it has.
Yesterday I got some negative news and admittedly I took it pretty roughly.
I not only lost out on job as a commercial driver but found out I lost control of my diabetes, hyper-tension and renal failure (kidneys) but also there is blood in my urine. Obviously, I'm sure it's to imagine that it was not easy being told and reminded that once again, you will die within the next decade (especially, after fighting so hard to reverse and resend these health issues just 9/10 months ago).
Today, (like a year and a half ago) I face not only the reality of my poor health cutting my life short but more importantly and definitely more stressful, leaving behind my love ones to bury me. Many of us have children, spouses and other love ones that depend on us. Some of you have been trying desperately to begin families as I had been for many years. Alcohol, drugs found in our processed foods, the 200+ drugs other than THC found in marijuana and the 50+ additional drugs outside of nicotine found in cigarettes are killing us and leaving many love ones broken and forced to keep moving on after we are already gone.
I hope I am not sounding completely preachy at this point. God knows I have already lived my life of excess, free spirited and care-free like a constant party, making me sound like a complete hypocrite. I just want you to know that the blunts, burgers and beers seem harmless now but it sucks when your sitting on that exam table in the doctor's office and they're telling you how your time is limited. When the doctor is speaking and all you can think about is who do you talk to to beg for more time. When your pulling out of the parking lot and you just remember how you signed a 48 month loan on a Nissan that you must figure out how to pay off so no one will be stuck with your bill. You think of mortgage and rent? You think of who will walk your daughter down the aisle at her wedding? Who will give your son advice? Who will love them and care for them like you do?
My new reality begins today and I can not change that but you can.
Just Think About It....
Nov 1, 2012
(Untitlted)
I whisper words of endearment that lack wisdom
daily begging to be forgiven but no one's feeling it
so I'm ripping, my heart from my chest much like a rose deep rooted
but have you ever imagined the tears of the garden when her children are executed
& again,
your told to just give-up
your told that fighting is futile
your told it's an impossible mission your facing
your told that being happy and being sane are an impossible combination
Lord...
Have...
Mercy...
Please give me patience, wisdom and the understanding to continue living
because surviving and contentment breeds resentment and I don't know how to be giving
anything less than 360%...I need to fight for life like your son did
but I need to know did Adam cry when you took his rib?
How did you not cry when they executed your kid?
Teach me how to live and how to except it when my compassion is under-appreciated
How to put me first and how to move forward and not let my heart be contaminated
Teach me to fish everyday with a smile on my face, insane and unashamed
Believe in Love, continue the fight and the courage to continue the path unafraid
so I'm ripping, my heart from my chest much like a rose deep rooted
but have you ever imagined the tears of the garden when her children are executed
& again,
your told to just give-up
your told that fighting is futile
your told it's an impossible mission your facing
your told that being happy and being sane are an impossible combination
Lord...
Have...
Mercy...
Please give me patience, wisdom and the understanding to continue living
because surviving and contentment breeds resentment and I don't know how to be giving
anything less than 360%...I need to fight for life like your son did
but I need to know did Adam cry when you took his rib?
How did you not cry when they executed your kid?
Teach me how to live and how to except it when my compassion is under-appreciated
How to put me first and how to move forward and not let my heart be contaminated
Teach me to fish everyday with a smile on my face, insane and unashamed
Believe in Love, continue the fight and the courage to continue the path unafraid
Oct 20, 2012
Who Stole My Smile
Grand Larceny
The world's greatest smile has been stolen...
Lifted like a thief in the night
Completely inconceivable that I could wake-up this morning and it was missing
No Note, No Randsom, No Clues
It just vanished
Disappeared into the distance and I couldn't even say goodbye
and I am not talking about a regular pass a stranger smile
I mean the greatest smile ever
Marvelous & Magnificent in Spirit
Perfect in Splender
The Rarest of Rare, Irreplacable
Brilliant & Beautiful the essence of angelic presence
A smile that could cut the silence with thunderous roar
Illuminate the night like lightening
Motivate a mountain to move
and gave the oceans waves
A smile that made sunshine envious every day
and it was just taken away
and like the yellow satelite we call a sun it was the center of my universe
I made my heart beat, blood flow and emotions rage with the power of a hundred volcanos
It made grass grow, flowers bloom gave me sight through the absence of light
and when I say I miss it, I mean my earth is no longer spinning without it
and now it is impossible to get my day started without my smile
and now I just sit thinking of how could I ever locate my smile again
Now
I just want to know how I begin to live again when someone has stolen my smile
(if you have my smile please give it back)
Oct 19, 2012
"American Book of Dependency" (chapter: 9 verse: Mine)
Crack
Coke
Heroin
Morphine
Prozac
THC
Extascy
Caffeine
Tobacco
Sugar
Refined Floride H2O
Inebriated
Intoxicated
Dopamine Adrenaline Rush
Crush Impulsive Instincts & Chemical Intimacy
We Think We Free When We Free to Fulfill Consumption & Social Co-Dependency
American Daydreams of Attention Deficit Hyper-Active Obsessive Compulsive Disoreder
We Run and Order Another Prescription
Listen to the Music so We can Remote Mind Control Out of Reality
Direct Televison Skipping 400 Channels of Flickering Hypnotic Images
Mentally Masturbating Over Internet Connections Creating One on One Sexual Orgasm
Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans vs Chips Ohoy & Oreos
Xbox & PS3 vs Pepsi & Coke-a-Cola
So When was the Last Time You were Completely SOBER?
Coke
Heroin
Morphine
Prozac
THC
Extascy
Caffeine
Tobacco
Sugar
Refined Floride H2O
Inebriated
Intoxicated
Dopamine Adrenaline Rush
Crush Impulsive Instincts & Chemical Intimacy
We Think We Free When We Free to Fulfill Consumption & Social Co-Dependency
American Daydreams of Attention Deficit Hyper-Active Obsessive Compulsive Disoreder
We Run and Order Another Prescription
Listen to the Music so We can Remote Mind Control Out of Reality
Direct Televison Skipping 400 Channels of Flickering Hypnotic Images
Mentally Masturbating Over Internet Connections Creating One on One Sexual Orgasm
Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans vs Chips Ohoy & Oreos
Xbox & PS3 vs Pepsi & Coke-a-Cola
So When was the Last Time You were Completely SOBER?
Oct 15, 2012
The Long Road Home
Passion unparalleled by anything in our universe
the heart of a gift/cursed conquering king who knew desire
knew Love
knew Determination
but he never knew Peace
never knew his God complex and sharp poetic Shakespeare quick tongue would cut his own throat
knew the taste of his own blood soaked, saturated and stained teeth
knew the speech that swept feet and pushed heads through clouds
knew how to inflate hearts to float miles beyond reality
knew love & knew better but still let his desire filled heart take lead
his passion unparalleled by anything in our universe
the heart of a gift/cursed conquering king who knew the great faith that fought daily with common sense
he knew hyper-intellectual thought so a lust for wisdom was his second nature
his philosophy...psycho-analytically driven by family and co-dependency
his virtue challenged by material but dominated by his own toxic self-righteousness
his determination fueled his passion
desire dictating the directions of a love inebriated heart and often times frustrated flashing temper
the soul of a gift/cured conquering king who would rather sacrifice than be given anything unearned
who strived to move forward because just moving on is worse than standing stagnant
a gifted & cursed conquering king that would rather stand in the same place as long as it was known he was standing for everything he he held supreme
the heart of a gift/cursed conquering king who knew desire
knew Love
knew Determination
but he never knew Peace
never knew his God complex and sharp poetic Shakespeare quick tongue would cut his own throat
knew the taste of his own blood soaked, saturated and stained teeth
knew the speech that swept feet and pushed heads through clouds
knew how to inflate hearts to float miles beyond reality
knew love & knew better but still let his desire filled heart take lead
his passion unparalleled by anything in our universe
the heart of a gift/cursed conquering king who knew the great faith that fought daily with common sense
he knew hyper-intellectual thought so a lust for wisdom was his second nature
his philosophy...psycho-analytically driven by family and co-dependency
his virtue challenged by material but dominated by his own toxic self-righteousness
his determination fueled his passion
desire dictating the directions of a love inebriated heart and often times frustrated flashing temper
his passion...
unparalleled by anything in our universe
his heart...
gifted & cursed
he is a conquering king motivated by a will that moved mountains
he knew most could not conceive the thoughts of an aging dictator that would rather burn the road to contentment and live his remaining existence trapped in struggle so that his death may be his only progressive goal accomplishedthe soul of a gift/cured conquering king who would rather sacrifice than be given anything unearned
who strived to move forward because just moving on is worse than standing stagnant
a gifted & cursed conquering king that would rather stand in the same place as long as it was known he was standing for everything he he held supreme
Oct 14, 2012
I am the Definition of Co-Dependency"
"I am the definition of Co-Dependency
Desperate for Family
an example of the inability & lack of desire to survive with just me
I am a city boy that hates to be alone
craves human contact
and solitary confinement is the worse possible punish I can imagine
I'm a social butterfly with the motivation and heart of an army ant
I hunt in the pack of piranha and the school is my home
I am God creating angels and humans cause even he didn't like being alone
I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware with an army
Jesus His Disciples,
Moses in the Desert,
MLK in Montgomery,
Malcolm X in Harlem
and a Million Man March doing my part so together we can find freedom
because I've been realized that if there is no You then there can be no Me
then there's No Family...No Unity
so Yes, I am the definition of Co-Dependency
Never ashamed to say I am created through God's reflection in my brother's image
What ancestors and forefathers spoke of when the uttered the words, "It Takes a Village"
The courage to stand with you, besides you and in front you ready to take that bullet
so I'm proudly announcing that I would stand amonst the masses arm and arm, marching & moving forward with you
I am Co-Dependency asking you to stand with me and write a legendary future history."
-Uncle Salaam...10-14-2012
I can not begin to explain to anyone reading this all the reasons why I wrote this piece. However, I do have a few, important thoughts I will expound on right now. The first being that I have had recent communication with my ex-girlfriend and flat out we have completely different philosophies on independence. My second feeling of motivation came from being raised in a big family (immediate and extended), a large inner-city Catholic church and growing up influenced by the culture of team sports (football, basketball, baseball & volleyball). I watched my parents help many others in our church and community. In turn not only was I exposed to these practices of family and philanthropy but had it instilled and drilled into my every molecule of being. Rather it is globally, family, in our work environment or neighborhoods, we all have to work, build and live together. We are all dependent on one another. No one has made significant progress without the help of another. No matter how much we would like to believe that we do things on our own, there is also someone we owe a thank you to when we accomplish a goal. Someone has usually sacrificed to give us the opportunity to achieve. Rather it was was an underpaid teacher or over-worked nurse, if it is the unseen woman or man that stood up against fascist and civil terrorism so that our generation would have the opportunity to pursue our dreams. Even the judges, lawyers, police and corrections officers that held the criminal opportunist at bay while we pursue and pursued our goals deserve some credit (because I could image it to be pretty difficult to conduct business or study for a college exam when there is a sociopathic guerrilla kicking in your door with a hunting knife or assault riffle).
Now I understand that through sheer stubbornness there will be those whom disagree with my philosophy. To all those individuals I offer you the opportunity of proving me wrong by moving to the middle of a desert or forrest and becoming a hermit. Rely on no one but yourself for food, clothing and lodging and then we can talk. Now I know what your thinking, and yes, it is possible but my stipulation for an argument is that you do it.
To my rational and intelligently thinking and motivated truth seekers reading this blog that are still unconvinced that co-dependency is not only natural but needed in our society, I offer one last example for you. I think we can all agree that George Washington by example was beyond most all individual's definitions of great. Take our nation glorious general and place him at the Battle of Princeton in 1777 completely alone facing thousands of British soldiers and he will stomped to death by red coats until there is no body left to identify. Is there anyone that can seriously conceive the possible notion of a positive outcome for our illustrious first President, never. Let us also add Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to this argument. Lets place him marching alone in Montgomery, Alabama surrounded by hundreds of violent racist bigots carrying stones, sticks and bottles and we can also imagine that outcome to look exactly the same as the first. Now you take that same General Washington and that same Dr. King, surround them with hundreds of individuals who think as they do and feel like they do and the situations change drastically. Now tell me again how being co-dependent is unhealthy.
Desperate for Family
an example of the inability & lack of desire to survive with just me
I am a city boy that hates to be alone
craves human contact
and solitary confinement is the worse possible punish I can imagine
I'm a social butterfly with the motivation and heart of an army ant
I hunt in the pack of piranha and the school is my home
I am God creating angels and humans cause even he didn't like being alone
I'm George Washington crossing the Delaware with an army
Jesus His Disciples,
Moses in the Desert,
MLK in Montgomery,
Malcolm X in Harlem
and a Million Man March doing my part so together we can find freedom
because I've been realized that if there is no You then there can be no Me
then there's No Family...No Unity
so Yes, I am the definition of Co-Dependency
Never ashamed to say I am created through God's reflection in my brother's image
What ancestors and forefathers spoke of when the uttered the words, "It Takes a Village"
The courage to stand with you, besides you and in front you ready to take that bullet
so I'm proudly announcing that I would stand amonst the masses arm and arm, marching & moving forward with you
I am Co-Dependency asking you to stand with me and write a legendary future history."
I can not begin to explain to anyone reading this all the reasons why I wrote this piece. However, I do have a few, important thoughts I will expound on right now. The first being that I have had recent communication with my ex-girlfriend and flat out we have completely different philosophies on independence. My second feeling of motivation came from being raised in a big family (immediate and extended), a large inner-city Catholic church and growing up influenced by the culture of team sports (football, basketball, baseball & volleyball). I watched my parents help many others in our church and community. In turn not only was I exposed to these practices of family and philanthropy but had it instilled and drilled into my every molecule of being. Rather it is globally, family, in our work environment or neighborhoods, we all have to work, build and live together. We are all dependent on one another. No one has made significant progress without the help of another. No matter how much we would like to believe that we do things on our own, there is also someone we owe a thank you to when we accomplish a goal. Someone has usually sacrificed to give us the opportunity to achieve. Rather it was was an underpaid teacher or over-worked nurse, if it is the unseen woman or man that stood up against fascist and civil terrorism so that our generation would have the opportunity to pursue our dreams. Even the judges, lawyers, police and corrections officers that held the criminal opportunist at bay while we pursue and pursued our goals deserve some credit (because I could image it to be pretty difficult to conduct business or study for a college exam when there is a sociopathic guerrilla kicking in your door with a hunting knife or assault riffle).
Now I understand that through sheer stubbornness there will be those whom disagree with my philosophy. To all those individuals I offer you the opportunity of proving me wrong by moving to the middle of a desert or forrest and becoming a hermit. Rely on no one but yourself for food, clothing and lodging and then we can talk. Now I know what your thinking, and yes, it is possible but my stipulation for an argument is that you do it.
To my rational and intelligently thinking and motivated truth seekers reading this blog that are still unconvinced that co-dependency is not only natural but needed in our society, I offer one last example for you. I think we can all agree that George Washington by example was beyond most all individual's definitions of great. Take our nation glorious general and place him at the Battle of Princeton in 1777 completely alone facing thousands of British soldiers and he will stomped to death by red coats until there is no body left to identify. Is there anyone that can seriously conceive the possible notion of a positive outcome for our illustrious first President, never. Let us also add Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. to this argument. Lets place him marching alone in Montgomery, Alabama surrounded by hundreds of violent racist bigots carrying stones, sticks and bottles and we can also imagine that outcome to look exactly the same as the first. Now you take that same General Washington and that same Dr. King, surround them with hundreds of individuals who think as they do and feel like they do and the situations change drastically. Now tell me again how being co-dependent is unhealthy.
Aug 9, 2012
Death of a God
My Head, Heart & Soul have Imploded within
So what u see is a shell of a man
nothing but darkness behind my eyes
So what u see is a shell of a man
nothing but darkness behind my eyes
Jul 3, 2012
Contentment vs Accomplishment
Everyone has a has a value level set for themselves. Unfortunately, it takes many levels of accomplishment to completely, truly and honestly know that we have succeeded. So we accomplish what we can and bust our arms patting ourselves on the back in the mean-while. I have done this action a million times over again. I know that I am not complete but it is easier to focus on my accomplishments than it is to face larger goals that feel impossible to fulfill. In the end, a trail will arise to remind me that I am not done with "ME" yet. Trust me, I know it sucks to feel great about life and all of a sudden have a situation remind you of that imperfection within that we have so well learned to ignore and forgive. The type of situation that no matter how far you run it is always there and it always reveals it's head in the most untimely fashions.
I think the most difficult part of accepting I have a complete emotional problem is also accepting the fact that my pure potent passion have always been poured into my poetry, music, arts, philanthropy and my humanist disposition. I have a gift and a curse and balancing this gift and curse is the hardest test I have faced in life. Greater than any and all material accolades or societal achievement. I have to be the man that I have to be and no temporary cheap thrill will fulfill that.
Apr 28, 2012
Apr 26, 2012
Tupac Shakur & Nas vs. Lil Wayne & Drake (Hip-Hop is Dead)
In the summer of 2012 I will turn 39 years old and I have seen the rise and fall of Hip-Hop music. Now when I say the rise and fall of Hip-Hop music, I mean, I was there for the first national circulated albums. We started with Blonde's "Rapture" and Sugar Hill Gang's "Rappers Delight's". I experienced a revolution in music that has empowered a people and is now impoverishing an entire generation.
When I was in my final year of middle school, I remember my brothers being house party deejays and having that grand connection to all the music that a normal 13 year old would never have access to. I remember listening to Eric B. & Rakim, N.W.A., Run D.M.C. and of course, Public Enemy. Now if you let anyone else tell this story, they would have you believe that all artist in the late 80s were glorifying violence, sexism and gangsta mentalities but in truth, there was so much more.
Hip-Hop to many youth of my time was the only connection to the Black Power, Black Love and Power to the People movement of the 60s that existed. I would watch my white friends (growing up thirty minutes outside of L.A. in Covina, CA) recite the lyrics to a great many black conscious and powerful songs like Run D.M.C's "Proud to be Black" and N.W.A's "F*uck the Police". I use to watch them and think how weird this is that these rappers were screaming anti-white, anti-establishment and anti-authority lyrics and what I saw as the exact people they were talking to were the ones that were loving it.
It took me over a decade of wisdom to realize that the movement I had belly-flopped into full force was not just representing the voice of black people but the voice of an entire generation just as Janice Joplin, Hendricks, John Lennon and Marvin Gaye had done in the 60s. We sought out self-awareness and self-identification through the unity of music. Though these groups would battle with mainstream crossover acts for radio time, they were constantly present and relevant. There just as many if not more party rap and dance tracks but the fact that there was also a voice representing something different than personal gain was what made those times so different.
From 1988 to 1994 we saw the emergence of a many great hip-hop artist. No matter how self-promoting or self-indulged their music appeared, there was always an element of pushing some sort of greater community cause. We had gangsta rappers (Ice Cube, Kool G. Rap & Dr. Dre), we had party rappers (MC Hammer & Rob Base)and the dirty, x-rated rappers (Slick Rick & Too Short) but through it all they all included at the least a couple of tracks with a positive message on each album.
I look at mainstream rap music today and like many other veterans of the art, I can not begin to call it hip-hop. It is as different to me as sitcoms are from reality shows. I listen to complete albums by rap artist today, though only the most successful like Drake, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne (to name a few) actually get more than a single deal and they all sound like monotonous monologues of materialism and misogyny. Don't get me wrong, there has always been this problem in hip-hop before but never to this extent.
The biggest difference between the first decade of hip-hop & this last decade of hip-hop is that there is zero balance. Before you had an equal opportunity to chose what you wanted to hear. You had party songs, love songs, pro-black songs and hardcore x-rated songs. The odd part was that some of these artist figured out how to put these four different elements in the same song. There were no artist ever telling you to not have fun and be broke, they just wasn't such a degradation for those that were.
When you listen to today's rap artist. I feel like my modest life has added up to nothing because they do not just tell you how fabulous their life is, they do everything they can to remind you that if you do not live like them then "You Ain't Sh*t!" (to put it bluntly). The constant message I receive is that it is me against the world. Rappers today even hate their fans.
I understand that rappers have always projected a braggadocios and audacious superiority but it seemed to somehow to incorporate its followers over belittle them. I could not begin to enjoy when today's rap artist tells me that because I do not own a $100k car or $10 million home that I am not worthy of existing.
In closing, my only wish is to hear more Outkast, Cypress Hill and Tupac artist emerging on the mainstream music scene so that the younger generation does not fall victim to the "Hybrid Society" which wishes to end human life as we know it.
When I was in my final year of middle school, I remember my brothers being house party deejays and having that grand connection to all the music that a normal 13 year old would never have access to. I remember listening to Eric B. & Rakim, N.W.A., Run D.M.C. and of course, Public Enemy. Now if you let anyone else tell this story, they would have you believe that all artist in the late 80s were glorifying violence, sexism and gangsta mentalities but in truth, there was so much more.
Hip-Hop to many youth of my time was the only connection to the Black Power, Black Love and Power to the People movement of the 60s that existed. I would watch my white friends (growing up thirty minutes outside of L.A. in Covina, CA) recite the lyrics to a great many black conscious and powerful songs like Run D.M.C's "Proud to be Black" and N.W.A's "F*uck the Police". I use to watch them and think how weird this is that these rappers were screaming anti-white, anti-establishment and anti-authority lyrics and what I saw as the exact people they were talking to were the ones that were loving it.
It took me over a decade of wisdom to realize that the movement I had belly-flopped into full force was not just representing the voice of black people but the voice of an entire generation just as Janice Joplin, Hendricks, John Lennon and Marvin Gaye had done in the 60s. We sought out self-awareness and self-identification through the unity of music. Though these groups would battle with mainstream crossover acts for radio time, they were constantly present and relevant. There just as many if not more party rap and dance tracks but the fact that there was also a voice representing something different than personal gain was what made those times so different.
From 1988 to 1994 we saw the emergence of a many great hip-hop artist. No matter how self-promoting or self-indulged their music appeared, there was always an element of pushing some sort of greater community cause. We had gangsta rappers (Ice Cube, Kool G. Rap & Dr. Dre), we had party rappers (MC Hammer & Rob Base)and the dirty, x-rated rappers (Slick Rick & Too Short) but through it all they all included at the least a couple of tracks with a positive message on each album.
I look at mainstream rap music today and like many other veterans of the art, I can not begin to call it hip-hop. It is as different to me as sitcoms are from reality shows. I listen to complete albums by rap artist today, though only the most successful like Drake, Nicki Minaj & Lil Wayne (to name a few) actually get more than a single deal and they all sound like monotonous monologues of materialism and misogyny. Don't get me wrong, there has always been this problem in hip-hop before but never to this extent.
The biggest difference between the first decade of hip-hop & this last decade of hip-hop is that there is zero balance. Before you had an equal opportunity to chose what you wanted to hear. You had party songs, love songs, pro-black songs and hardcore x-rated songs. The odd part was that some of these artist figured out how to put these four different elements in the same song. There were no artist ever telling you to not have fun and be broke, they just wasn't such a degradation for those that were.
When you listen to today's rap artist. I feel like my modest life has added up to nothing because they do not just tell you how fabulous their life is, they do everything they can to remind you that if you do not live like them then "You Ain't Sh*t!" (to put it bluntly). The constant message I receive is that it is me against the world. Rappers today even hate their fans.
I understand that rappers have always projected a braggadocios and audacious superiority but it seemed to somehow to incorporate its followers over belittle them. I could not begin to enjoy when today's rap artist tells me that because I do not own a $100k car or $10 million home that I am not worthy of existing.
In closing, my only wish is to hear more Outkast, Cypress Hill and Tupac artist emerging on the mainstream music scene so that the younger generation does not fall victim to the "Hybrid Society" which wishes to end human life as we know it.
Apr 3, 2012
Implosive Miracle of Seduction
Her seductive spirit filled lips spilled whispers of desire while I stood still showing all 32 teeth
speechless and vulnerable, I journey...
I am a Soul Traveler, Unique! but why has she chosen me?I am not wealthy... nor am I worthy of her greatness
but I, desire her unbridled attraction parallel to bright satellites
I define her presence in cosmic physics because no earth stricken movement would ever hold justice
with a Big Bang she spoke no words but her eyes held the intellectual monologue of Medusa
Hips of Venus, We traveled inner-space with no suits,
naked & unashamed she captivated my will
I heard her soul speak to me every time she grinned
so I could only smile,
(the only way I knew how to bring joy to her door)
Overrun with reckless abandon tightly clinching pure intention I entrenched deep within her pleasures
rising above mankind's limits reaching forever extending tipping points
My future family pioneer sparked my heart to revolution...
we evolved to levels of unexplored place...
She knew I desired trust suitable for a nation
so her perfection told no lies
Sparking powder kegs & Imploding fears inside I witness newborn confidence of kings...
the arrogance of a top gun pilot...
the celebration of a scientist staring down the barrow of an intergalactic kaleidoscope captivated by a colorful collage cloaked in the collected hopes of so many...
I have touched my holy grail
My Venus
My Medusa
My Mothership named Desire's Messiah
My Venus
My Medusa
My Mothership named Desire's Messiah
Mar 11, 2012
Mar 9, 2012
What I have Learned about Mormons
Many of these videos are the recently old documentation of the Latter Day Saints aka LDS aka the mormon church but they are still frightening. I usually do not go "On Record" bringing down the craziness in anyone's religion but I just had to expose some of this outrageousness in a time when we are considering a Mormon for President.
Governor Mitt Romney was 31 years old when the Church of LDS finally decided to let Black men hold priesthood in their doctrine.
I will let the videos tell the stories of their beliefs.
Donny & Marie
Donny back peddling & Marie setting the Women's Movement backwards.
In 2005, the Intelligence Report published the following statements made by Warren Jeffs, President of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints: 1. "The black race is the people through which the devil has always been able to bring evil unto the earth."
Joseph Smith first president, prophet, and founder of the Mormon Church
Had I anything to do with the negro, I would confine them by strict law to their own species, and put them on a national equalization" (Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith, 270; History of the Church, 5: 218; emphasis added). "Thursday, 8--Held Mayor's court and tried two negroes for attempting to marry two white women: fined one $25, and the other $5" (ibid., 6: 210). and the rebellious niggers in the slave states. . . " (Millennial Star, 22:602; emphasis added).
When Mormon Historians reprinted this in the History of the Church, they change it to read: "and the rebellious negroes in the slave states. . . " (History of the Church, 6:158; emphasis added).
The other side of the coin
I Forgive but I Never Forget
(especially when you don't allow me too)
OK, I understand that most western philosophy and religions started with a deep seeded anti-woman & anti-African-American racism. The biggest difference I see is that the LDS Church was Founded on Racism.
Their doctrine has not changed & these viewpoints that have been shared are currently found in the Book of Mormon
Feb 28, 2012
Brand New Hot Sh!t
Award Winning and Warped Tour Battle Winner, Seefor Yourself and his band Sudent Body Presidents are ready to release his debut EP "Greatest Show on Earth"! This SoCal artist is a blend of Busta Rhymes, Outkast and The Black Keys! The music is beautiful, the stories are intense and the live show is killer!
The release of this upcoming album will reveal Seefor’s unique mix as a hip hop stylist, rock singer, rap icon and pop producer which all culminate into an unforgettable and commanding master performance. The unreleased album is already making waves as unmixed versions of the songs from the album have been played on VH1’s “For The Love Of Ray- J” and TBS’s “Lopez Tonight” show AND WERE PERFORMED IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR OUR 1ST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA! The release of this staggering musical vision will propel Seefor Yourself to global preeminence as a true artist and social prophet. It is only a matter of time….
Check Out his Latest Video: Bombs Over Baghdad 2012
The release of this upcoming album will reveal Seefor’s unique mix as a hip hop stylist, rock singer, rap icon and pop producer which all culminate into an unforgettable and commanding master performance. The unreleased album is already making waves as unmixed versions of the songs from the album have been played on VH1’s “For The Love Of Ray- J” and TBS’s “Lopez Tonight” show AND WERE PERFORMED IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR OUR 1ST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA! The release of this staggering musical vision will propel Seefor Yourself to global preeminence as a true artist and social prophet. It is only a matter of time….
Check Out his Latest Video: Bombs Over Baghdad 2012
Feb 22, 2012
Feb 20, 2012
& now a few words from Gandhi
Speak the Truth Even when the Truth is Inconvenient...
You can Never Stop Reality from being Real!!!
You can Never Stop Reality from being Real!!!
}}}---> The Valentine's Day Massacre After-Party <---{{{
lock
cocked
& ready to rock
popped 2 shots through the heart & stop blood flow
she hate me but don't know
every time she tell me...she loves me...it ain't me
& lately...I don't even know me
so now I sit lonely...surrounded with a wall of foolish pride
I hide behind true lies like a bad actor in an independent college film
my collaborating will...still hold tight to thoughts of holding you
I'm holding through the thick with no thin
caught by wicked wind...blew through the cavity the heart use to reside in
blown out by an assassin lying behind eyes of passion
I'm asking what happened to the smiles & laughing
now frowns & gnashing teeth incarcerate a tongue to no longer speak
Silence! slice the night chill with heavy breath
this is the death of a salesman
heart spilling desire cross concrete & asphalt
"Its Your Fault!!!"
pointed fingers implicated dying body
revenge is sweet but all I taste is the bitter backside my own lies
blown back in my own face
Taste! sweet revenge served cold
dark hole blowing heavy heat
cavity in my chest gargle speech
Please! don't leave me lying in lies on grief street...
Feb 14, 2012
*~*~* Happy Valentine's Day *~*~*
My Favorite Song
So I am sure that rather your reading this today (02/14/2012) or your skipping back through my catalog, hopefully you realize that today's Valentine's Day. I normally don't celebrate Holidays but I just had to share this song with the whole world. Erykah Badu is one of My Top 3 Favorite Artist (my top female artist hands down, guaranteed).
Happy Valentine's Day
Feb 9, 2012
~+~ Not Just Another Doctor Visit ~+~
This morning I had a doctor's appointment and got wonderful news. I found out that my past 3 month average blood sugar reading was tremendously lower. He also informed me that my blood pressure and renal failure (kidneys) were doing a significant amount better. This blew my socks completely off.It is amazing to receive such great news after the last several visits I have had with the doctor since July 1st (see post: "Morality in the Making"). Today, every conversation my doctor had with me was began with a magnificent smile and met with even more marvel and celebration on my part.
While speaking with the doctor, I instantly thought of everyday over the last 3 to 6 months that I have held back and pushed forward with my bland diet. 
Everyday I decided to respect that diet, get off my fat behind and workout. Not just all the times I had to pass on all my favorite snack and sugary goodies (I really miss the ice cream, chocolate sandwich cookies and cupcakes), but the menu really sucks when you have to cut out all the carbs, sodium, potassium, starch and sugar. Now I have not been perfect, I love eating but I had to show restraint.
Everyday I decided to respect that diet, get off my fat behind and workout. Not just all the times I had to pass on all my favorite snack and sugary goodies (I really miss the ice cream, chocolate sandwich cookies and cupcakes), but the menu really sucks when you have to cut out all the carbs, sodium, potassium, starch and sugar. Now I have not been perfect, I love eating but I had to show restraint. Interesting enough, many would ask me about my food choices. I mostly still ate in public like there was nothing wrong. Seriously, could anyone imagine me only eating boiled, skinless, boneless, under-seasoned chicken breast every single day.
The changes I made were drastic but they were not always consistent or constant. I have just been determined to make my diet better. A few less double cheeseburgers or grande nachos and more grill chicken salads & flat bread veggie wraps.
The changes I made were drastic but they were not always consistent or constant. I have just been determined to make my diet better. A few less double cheeseburgers or grande nachos and more grill chicken salads & flat bread veggie wraps.My journey of better health and a longer life has in no way ended. Although, it is awesome to know that my dedication to making my situation better has seen positive signs. I can not do it all in one day but with the help of my great spirit to succeed... I Will Stay Determined To Make My Life Different!
I Love You All & Thanks for Reading
My Family
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