I have always been the type of man that has leaned more towards following my heart and it has gotten me into a great number of hairy situations but also the same remains true with my head. The greater difference I've noticed is that when I do follow my heart, it seems that I end having an experience that I wouldn't trade for all the world's riches. I have had relationships that did not make a drop of sense rationally but through those relationships I have also made friends that are closer than family could ever be. If I didn't follow my heart in 2005, I never would have met Jade and Ayden (my stepson and daughter) and they are the greatest gift this world has ever given me. If I had never followed my heart in the 90s, I would have stayed in school, never had any type of career in entertainment and that would have been unfortunate.
When I look back on my life I realize that my biggest regrets come from my rational thinking intruding on what my heart desires. When I think about it if I had that time machine and I could go back and right some of my regrets, they would 95% consist of the times I let my rational thinking make decisions that my heart disagreed with.
When I look back and question the morality of my head versus heart decisions, I notice one thing that stands out greatly. I am an individual that has great moral fiber and responsibility. I view mankind as my brothers and sisters (worldwide community) and hold tight to the theory that we all pay rent for our space on this earth through our philanthropy. Because of this ingrain gene that I have never been able to deny with success, I see most of my rational choices have been selfish or less moral than my hearts's truest desire. When I make decisions based on rational perspectives I notice them to be more material driven.
Example 1:
Every Thanksgiving I have to decide between playing football with friends and family, helping in the preparation of dinner or going to a soup kitchen and/or shelter and feeding the homeless. I know that when I do the ladders activity, I end up feeling substantially better that I followed my heart's desire to do something that was bigger than myself.
Example 2:
When I rededicated my life to the church in 2003, I was lost because I was not sure if hop-hip was still the best career choice for me or the world at the time. I was not sure if I was ready to undertake the responsibility of switching from being an urban street rapper into praise and worship gospel artist. I then followed my rational thinking and quit the music industry. My problem with this decision was if I followed my heart I would have continued to make music that lifted the souls and minds of young people around world. I would have made a greater impact if I did not let my mind dictate my direction and believe that I could never make as an artist that could preach in the streets over preaching to the choir.
Today, I now realize that with doctors telling me that my time here on the planet is very limited, I decided that I can not waste time doing things that do not make my heart happy. Life is to precious to make decisions based on long term outcomes that may never manifest. I must take chances and live in the day. After all, it is not how many years in your life you live but how many times you live life in your years.
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