So link over and Enjoy ;-)
Dec 22, 2012
SuperSalaam.blogspot.com
I have created a new blog in connection with this one. It will document my journey towards better health. I decided to separate the two blogs because I feel this one is more dedicated to my Spiritual and Mental growth and my Physical health needed its own personal outlet.
So link over and Enjoy ;-)
So link over and Enjoy ;-)
Dec 17, 2012
"COURAGEOUS Soul...COURAGEOUS Heart"
After having a text conversation with a friend, I watched the movie, "Courageous." It was an awesome picture, very highly motivating. I can not believe that I had not heard much about this movie before. I mean, I had heard of it but only one person that I did not know told me it was a must see. I am not sure if it is because I have not spent many days or nights around the church in the last year but none the less, I have not heard to much about it.
As I began to watch it, all I could think about was this is what I want for my life. I have always known that I am the type of man that takes responsibility for another's life. I know that I must be the best man I can be. The best example that I can be. The best role model and provider that I can be. A great father and supportive husband. A giant of a man amongst so many that have been falling short.
Growing up an athlete (especially in sports like football) thought me how to be a responsible and loyal member of a family and a team player. Football is the only sport where if one man does not do his job for one fraction of a second they whole play will fall apart and someone can get seriously injured. I was also raised in a Catholic home with both my parents and being the youngest of 4 siblings. My dad was a Vietnam veteran who spoke with a stern tone, punished with a Texan heavy iron fist and had the heart of Mother Teresa. He was a man that showed very little passion, cried less than a handful of times but has always had a brotherly love for our neighbors. My mother wore her emotions on her sleeve and was completely outward with her generosity and giving spirit.
Growing up in a family like this kept many people whom needed help in and out of our home. If we weren't taking in a family friend, then there was a someone that we were giving a ride to school, work or church. Some of the individuals that I had the pleasure of sharing our with with are still in my life today and they are never considered anything less than family. Some people that I met only needed a place to stay for a night or a week or so and I will never forget them either.
When I watched the movie "Courageous" I could only think of my father and the man that he is and was. I realized that though my mother was the main lobbyer for many of these people (mostly children, teenage and pre-teen) to stay with us, it took a magnificently great man to stand in agreement with a such a huge hearted woman.
I remember the day my dad was working his second job as a security guard in the mid to late 90s.He called my mother to warn her that while he was patrolling a rather large city park, he had come across a mother and her 19 year old mentally disabled son and they were sleeping beneath there. It informed my mother that he was going to bring them home and in the mother she (my mother) would have to help them find a shelter that would allow her to keep her son with her. He arrived home no longer than 10 to 15 minutes later with this mother and older son to bedroom setting that I was instantly ordered to provide for them. This is the type of thing that happened regularly in our home and I could see no other better way to come of age.
My father was and is a Courageous man. He has had his struggles and has in no way been perfect but he has always been perfect for my family. He has stood besides my mother that has fought a debilitating and mortal disability known as Sarcoidosis (originally diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis). He has worked 40 plus years to provide for me and my siblings. He took in many family members, our childhood friends and people he had only known for 5/10 minutes. He is undoubtedly one of the main reasons I am a man today that lives through my heart's desires and thinks on a social and community level. He is exactly that father and husband that I strive to be.
As I began to watch it, all I could think about was this is what I want for my life. I have always known that I am the type of man that takes responsibility for another's life. I know that I must be the best man I can be. The best example that I can be. The best role model and provider that I can be. A great father and supportive husband. A giant of a man amongst so many that have been falling short.
Growing up an athlete (especially in sports like football) thought me how to be a responsible and loyal member of a family and a team player. Football is the only sport where if one man does not do his job for one fraction of a second they whole play will fall apart and someone can get seriously injured. I was also raised in a Catholic home with both my parents and being the youngest of 4 siblings. My dad was a Vietnam veteran who spoke with a stern tone, punished with a Texan heavy iron fist and had the heart of Mother Teresa. He was a man that showed very little passion, cried less than a handful of times but has always had a brotherly love for our neighbors. My mother wore her emotions on her sleeve and was completely outward with her generosity and giving spirit.
Growing up in a family like this kept many people whom needed help in and out of our home. If we weren't taking in a family friend, then there was a someone that we were giving a ride to school, work or church. Some of the individuals that I had the pleasure of sharing our with with are still in my life today and they are never considered anything less than family. Some people that I met only needed a place to stay for a night or a week or so and I will never forget them either.
When I watched the movie "Courageous" I could only think of my father and the man that he is and was. I realized that though my mother was the main lobbyer for many of these people (mostly children, teenage and pre-teen) to stay with us, it took a magnificently great man to stand in agreement with a such a huge hearted woman.
I remember the day my dad was working his second job as a security guard in the mid to late 90s.He called my mother to warn her that while he was patrolling a rather large city park, he had come across a mother and her 19 year old mentally disabled son and they were sleeping beneath there. It informed my mother that he was going to bring them home and in the mother she (my mother) would have to help them find a shelter that would allow her to keep her son with her. He arrived home no longer than 10 to 15 minutes later with this mother and older son to bedroom setting that I was instantly ordered to provide for them. This is the type of thing that happened regularly in our home and I could see no other better way to come of age.
My father was and is a Courageous man. He has had his struggles and has in no way been perfect but he has always been perfect for my family. He has stood besides my mother that has fought a debilitating and mortal disability known as Sarcoidosis (originally diagnosed as Multiple Sclerosis). He has worked 40 plus years to provide for me and my siblings. He took in many family members, our childhood friends and people he had only known for 5/10 minutes. He is undoubtedly one of the main reasons I am a man today that lives through my heart's desires and thinks on a social and community level. He is exactly that father and husband that I strive to be.
Dec 9, 2012
Tag...Your It (chasing what you can't catch)
Good Day People of a Higher Understanding...
This morning I awakened from a very short slumber with quite a bit on my mind. Before I went to bed last night I was texting three different women friends in my life, all with whom were seeking the same advice, "Why is this relationship game so hard to understand?"
I heard every question from, "Am I not young enough anymore? Am I just not beautiful enough anymore? Am I just not desirable? Why doesn't he want me?" and my personal favorite, "Why do so many men I date desire me and beg for me hand in marriage but the one I seem to want does not desire to settle down?" With that being my personal favorite, I will use this as the context for today's post.
So let's start with the ladder, "Why do so many men desire me but the one I seem to want not want to settle down?" It is simple really, humans desire what they can not have. It is all about the chase. We have all heard the parable, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush." No matter how many times we hear colorful euphemisms like this, we never get the point. I mean we get it, but we never know how to apply it at the right times. We can never see or appreciate the beauty of what is right in front of us because we are to busy looking for what is better. We see what others have and believe that we want the greener grass just as they have.
There is also a deeper reality but still it is also simple. Look around you. How many relationships are you aware of that the man is more yoked than the woman and yet are still functional? The answer is blatant, not very many (actually, I see none). Over time a man chasing a woman is seen as weak. No matter who this man is and what he has accomplished in life, it is a sign of weakness to women if a man places her upon a pedestal. If he shares to much emotion, then he is weak. If he chases her or is displays everyday passion, then he is weak. A woman never wants a man that is co-dependent. She doesn't want to know that he's world would end if she leaves. She wants to feel that she is desired but never needed. Picking out his clothes or making a meal is great but it's very rare she wants to feel like he will stop existing if she is no longer there.
I know that this sounds odd and I hate to paint the picture that this is how every relationship is but 99.99% seem to work this way. Woman do not desire a man that would move across country for a women's job but they would rather have a man that would give them the ultimatum of following them or falling off if he needs to relocate at the drop of a dime. They want a man that can lead. The Woman's Right Movement has only come so far in this psychological understanding. Most women still secretly desire to be told what to do by their significant other, or as we would say back in the day,"What's Deal Is."
This has been true since the beginning of time. I have proven it, tried and tested, and seen it work many times for myself. If I show a woman the bare minimum of interest, she will follow me like I am God. If I tell a woman that she has my heart and pledge my unwavering commitment to her, then I would lose her. I have held many women at bay to only have them continue with more vigor after every time I let them know that I like them but I am not interested in settling down. To be honest if this is true for me then it must be something to it, because as Notorious B.I.G. said, "I'm a heartthrob never, black and ugly as ever. However...." Somehow, I still managed to step through some exclusive doors with models on my elbow.
I can even proceed a step further. Imagine the relationships where the men chase the women. Do you see these relationships as functional or do you see these women as settling? We look at these relationships and see something unnatural. When in fact, these relationships are where usually the most love lives. Why, because the men are actually involved in the emotional side of the relationship and when you have a man that loves a woman so much he can not stop telling her, then you have something very special there. Unfortunately, the natural cycle of our nature does not allow for a man to ever be so vulnerable because most every woman are seeking strength and dominance. They don't see a compromising man as fit or strong. They see him as weak or as a weenie. You can't head the household if you can't head the relationship. Women are natural nurturers and if a man becomes that nurturer than the woman looses interest.
If you do not believe me. Then think of the last man who asked you to move in with him. You denied that man but sat around hoping that the man that is denying you, would pose that same proposition. It is not that the second man is a better suit for you, on the contrary he is the total opposite. He is unavailable and unwilling to compromise but since that is a challenge and he is not easy. You see having this man as more of being worthy with than the first. The second man will never appreciate you as the first does but this is actually a desirable trait to you. Unfortunately, most women do not figure this out until after 5/10 years of marriage and 2/3 children. But go ahead and marry that second man and do not be surprised when he is carrying on a relationships with a co-worker or the coffee girl on his route.
Finally, the best way I can explain it is to look at the prize factor. Men see women as a great compromise and women see men a prize. The difference is that a man can settle for a lessor prize and a woman can't. Her determination will not allow her to be with someone that is not a top draft pick. As for a man, we see it as who treats us the best in combination with who looks the best as being the winners. We easily settle for convenience over love or commitment. We seek those that will take care of us like our mothers or like we think our mother should have. Women can not settle for just that. They must be made to feel like whatever they are doing is never quite good enough. In a relationship they desire to keep working harder and harder to be the woman that man desires. If we reaffirm their insecurities and tell them that they are exactly what we desire repetitively then they have nothing to strive for. If they we become content, then they loose interest. If we show to much attention, they loose interest.
Now I understand that many of you might think I am full to the bulging of my expresso brown eyeballs and I have know idea what I am talking about (and I just might have it all wrong). This is just an unproven philosophy that I found through observation and studying. I have read a few hundred books on relationships written by psychologist and psychiatrist alike and several dozen written by actual "street pimps" on the art and laws of how to get and maintain that working girl. I have also journeyed as far as to incorporate the philosophies I've discovered through management and sales courses (the "How to be a Successful CEO" books and symposiums).
Unfortunately, most will never consider how everything is connected and many of these "Leadership" and "Laws of Attraction" books can help them better understand what the opposite sex needs in order to be happy and successful in their relationship. But to be honest, it is all so simple. Just keep doing what so many have done for thousands of years... Men keep your heart closed and Women keep giving yours away constantly til the man your looking for eventually decides to settle.
Author's Note:
I would like to give a big shout out to those men out there that have found a woman that they are free to love and appreciate and most importantly share their hearts with on a daily basis without settling or the fear of loosing the center of their universe.
(I would name a few but I am nervous to leave anyone out. The 6/7 of you know who you are and I am envious).
More Author's Notes:
People (ladies especially but not limited too), don't be afraid to comment this post. If your only texting, messaging or emailing me personally, then your missing the point of why I wrote this article. Which is to help my brothers and sisters learn how to grow their relationships stronger. Many of the things questions, opinions and comments you have sent me personally will help the rest of our family as well.
Finally, Last Word:
A point that I think many are missing is that we must all know thy self. We must figure out and learn what is most important to us as well as what we are willing to settle for.
What will ultimately make us happy that is actually achievable.
This morning I awakened from a very short slumber with quite a bit on my mind. Before I went to bed last night I was texting three different women friends in my life, all with whom were seeking the same advice, "Why is this relationship game so hard to understand?"
I heard every question from, "Am I not young enough anymore? Am I just not beautiful enough anymore? Am I just not desirable? Why doesn't he want me?" and my personal favorite, "Why do so many men I date desire me and beg for me hand in marriage but the one I seem to want does not desire to settle down?" With that being my personal favorite, I will use this as the context for today's post.
So let's start with the ladder, "Why do so many men desire me but the one I seem to want not want to settle down?" It is simple really, humans desire what they can not have. It is all about the chase. We have all heard the parable, "A bird in the hand, is worth more than two in the bush." No matter how many times we hear colorful euphemisms like this, we never get the point. I mean we get it, but we never know how to apply it at the right times. We can never see or appreciate the beauty of what is right in front of us because we are to busy looking for what is better. We see what others have and believe that we want the greener grass just as they have.
There is also a deeper reality but still it is also simple. Look around you. How many relationships are you aware of that the man is more yoked than the woman and yet are still functional? The answer is blatant, not very many (actually, I see none). Over time a man chasing a woman is seen as weak. No matter who this man is and what he has accomplished in life, it is a sign of weakness to women if a man places her upon a pedestal. If he shares to much emotion, then he is weak. If he chases her or is displays everyday passion, then he is weak. A woman never wants a man that is co-dependent. She doesn't want to know that he's world would end if she leaves. She wants to feel that she is desired but never needed. Picking out his clothes or making a meal is great but it's very rare she wants to feel like he will stop existing if she is no longer there.
I know that this sounds odd and I hate to paint the picture that this is how every relationship is but 99.99% seem to work this way. Woman do not desire a man that would move across country for a women's job but they would rather have a man that would give them the ultimatum of following them or falling off if he needs to relocate at the drop of a dime. They want a man that can lead. The Woman's Right Movement has only come so far in this psychological understanding. Most women still secretly desire to be told what to do by their significant other, or as we would say back in the day,"What's Deal Is."
This has been true since the beginning of time. I have proven it, tried and tested, and seen it work many times for myself. If I show a woman the bare minimum of interest, she will follow me like I am God. If I tell a woman that she has my heart and pledge my unwavering commitment to her, then I would lose her. I have held many women at bay to only have them continue with more vigor after every time I let them know that I like them but I am not interested in settling down. To be honest if this is true for me then it must be something to it, because as Notorious B.I.G. said, "I'm a heartthrob never, black and ugly as ever. However...." Somehow, I still managed to step through some exclusive doors with models on my elbow.
I can even proceed a step further. Imagine the relationships where the men chase the women. Do you see these relationships as functional or do you see these women as settling? We look at these relationships and see something unnatural. When in fact, these relationships are where usually the most love lives. Why, because the men are actually involved in the emotional side of the relationship and when you have a man that loves a woman so much he can not stop telling her, then you have something very special there. Unfortunately, the natural cycle of our nature does not allow for a man to ever be so vulnerable because most every woman are seeking strength and dominance. They don't see a compromising man as fit or strong. They see him as weak or as a weenie. You can't head the household if you can't head the relationship. Women are natural nurturers and if a man becomes that nurturer than the woman looses interest.
If you do not believe me. Then think of the last man who asked you to move in with him. You denied that man but sat around hoping that the man that is denying you, would pose that same proposition. It is not that the second man is a better suit for you, on the contrary he is the total opposite. He is unavailable and unwilling to compromise but since that is a challenge and he is not easy. You see having this man as more of being worthy with than the first. The second man will never appreciate you as the first does but this is actually a desirable trait to you. Unfortunately, most women do not figure this out until after 5/10 years of marriage and 2/3 children. But go ahead and marry that second man and do not be surprised when he is carrying on a relationships with a co-worker or the coffee girl on his route.
Finally, the best way I can explain it is to look at the prize factor. Men see women as a great compromise and women see men a prize. The difference is that a man can settle for a lessor prize and a woman can't. Her determination will not allow her to be with someone that is not a top draft pick. As for a man, we see it as who treats us the best in combination with who looks the best as being the winners. We easily settle for convenience over love or commitment. We seek those that will take care of us like our mothers or like we think our mother should have. Women can not settle for just that. They must be made to feel like whatever they are doing is never quite good enough. In a relationship they desire to keep working harder and harder to be the woman that man desires. If we reaffirm their insecurities and tell them that they are exactly what we desire repetitively then they have nothing to strive for. If they we become content, then they loose interest. If we show to much attention, they loose interest.
Now I understand that many of you might think I am full to the bulging of my expresso brown eyeballs and I have know idea what I am talking about (and I just might have it all wrong). This is just an unproven philosophy that I found through observation and studying. I have read a few hundred books on relationships written by psychologist and psychiatrist alike and several dozen written by actual "street pimps" on the art and laws of how to get and maintain that working girl. I have also journeyed as far as to incorporate the philosophies I've discovered through management and sales courses (the "How to be a Successful CEO" books and symposiums).
Unfortunately, most will never consider how everything is connected and many of these "Leadership" and "Laws of Attraction" books can help them better understand what the opposite sex needs in order to be happy and successful in their relationship. But to be honest, it is all so simple. Just keep doing what so many have done for thousands of years... Men keep your heart closed and Women keep giving yours away constantly til the man your looking for eventually decides to settle.
Author's Note:
I would like to give a big shout out to those men out there that have found a woman that they are free to love and appreciate and most importantly share their hearts with on a daily basis without settling or the fear of loosing the center of their universe.
(I would name a few but I am nervous to leave anyone out. The 6/7 of you know who you are and I am envious).
More Author's Notes:
People (ladies especially but not limited too), don't be afraid to comment this post. If your only texting, messaging or emailing me personally, then your missing the point of why I wrote this article. Which is to help my brothers and sisters learn how to grow their relationships stronger. Many of the things questions, opinions and comments you have sent me personally will help the rest of our family as well.
Finally, Last Word:
A point that I think many are missing is that we must all know thy self. We must figure out and learn what is most important to us as well as what we are willing to settle for.
What will ultimately make us happy that is actually achievable.
Dec 8, 2012
+~+ "Your Struggle is My Struggle" +~+
I was watching a NBC's Today Show editorial on Newark, N.J., Mayor Cory Booker and how he is eating for a week on $30 of Food Stamps and all the struggles it entails. I have always tried to explain to people that we are a neighborhood, societal and global community and what our neighbors struggle with is also our struggle.
I have lived in some pretty awesome neighborhoods. In houses, condos and apartments and it has always seem that I end up wedged between some pretty great people. Across all nationalities and cultures I have noticed one thing about them all. They have all been very hard working and dedicated to living strong and making it in America. Another thing is that they have all been either blue collar or civil servants (contractors, nurses, teachers, plumbers, law enforcement, etc...,).
Rather Conservative or Liberal these are all the individuals that have built this country to what it is today. These are the little guys and these little guys struggle just like everyone else. Some of these very hard working families are living below the poverty line or just a paycheck or two from being homeless.
I have also found some of these neighbors to have struggles that many of us do not know about. They have had spouses and/or children suffering from mortal diseases like cancer, kidney failure and heart disease (and many others to just name a few). I've had neighbors and friends with Autistic children, deaf children, blind children and different muscular problems and they are continue to work hard.
When are blessed with so many opportunities, rather it is finances or family or education. We should never forget that these neighbors were also cruising along on the same ship as we were not to long ago and just like it happened to them...It can happen to anyone of us. SO do not judge every man or woman you see on a food stamp program or receiving some sort of government assistance. They are all not lazy and your brothers and sisters need your help from time to time.
Blessings My People
NBC Today Show Video:
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50127953#50127953
I have lived in some pretty awesome neighborhoods. In houses, condos and apartments and it has always seem that I end up wedged between some pretty great people. Across all nationalities and cultures I have noticed one thing about them all. They have all been very hard working and dedicated to living strong and making it in America. Another thing is that they have all been either blue collar or civil servants (contractors, nurses, teachers, plumbers, law enforcement, etc...,).
Rather Conservative or Liberal these are all the individuals that have built this country to what it is today. These are the little guys and these little guys struggle just like everyone else. Some of these very hard working families are living below the poverty line or just a paycheck or two from being homeless.
I have also found some of these neighbors to have struggles that many of us do not know about. They have had spouses and/or children suffering from mortal diseases like cancer, kidney failure and heart disease (and many others to just name a few). I've had neighbors and friends with Autistic children, deaf children, blind children and different muscular problems and they are continue to work hard.
When are blessed with so many opportunities, rather it is finances or family or education. We should never forget that these neighbors were also cruising along on the same ship as we were not to long ago and just like it happened to them...It can happen to anyone of us. SO do not judge every man or woman you see on a food stamp program or receiving some sort of government assistance. They are all not lazy and your brothers and sisters need your help from time to time.
Blessings My People
NBC Today Show Video:
http://video.today.msnbc.msn.com/today/50127953#50127953
Dec 7, 2012
~~+~~ "A Million Words Written to Save Myself" ~~+~~
The rhythmic clicking of keys have been saving my soul and elevating my morale for over 2 decades now.
I have written story after story and poem after poem.
Written essay of inspiration and rants of motivation.
I've written words that begged you to listen in attempts that I could just possibly hear something different and new for myself.
With hundred-thousand words I spread a donor-centric philanthropy philosophy like the plague hoping my body becomes infected
Wrote words that hoisted the weight the world upon neck and spine praying that one day I could repay the universe.
I'm ready to pay in my final days
Give forth everything I've ever taken because life is worthless unless you've given to a man which could never repay you.
So I Write These Words
A million plus words searching for my serenity,
seeking my survival and surrendering my soul to you
Surrendering my self to you
Hoping to save myself and you
Praying that one day my appearance would be appreciated and greatly respected
Fighting for a rich heart cloaked beneath a tattered and torn coat
Wishing that one day these million words written will help me to save My Self...
I have written story after story and poem after poem.
Written essay of inspiration and rants of motivation.
I've written words that begged you to listen in attempts that I could just possibly hear something different and new for myself.
With hundred-thousand words I spread a donor-centric philanthropy philosophy like the plague hoping my body becomes infected
Wrote words that hoisted the weight the world upon neck and spine praying that one day I could repay the universe.
I'm ready to pay in my final days
Give forth everything I've ever taken because life is worthless unless you've given to a man which could never repay you.
So I Write These Words
A million plus words searching for my serenity,
seeking my survival and surrendering my soul to you
Surrendering my self to you
Hoping to save myself and you
Praying that one day my appearance would be appreciated and greatly respected
Fighting for a rich heart cloaked beneath a tattered and torn coat
Wishing that one day these million words written will help me to save My Self...
Dec 6, 2012
***+*** "...I Followed Many Leads..." ***+***
I have always had a pretty intense perplexity in life when it comes to decision making. I have never known when it is best to follow your head or follow your heart. I have made a great number of decisions in life best off of both and when I look back at those decisions it seems like I just become even more confused.
I have always been the type of man that has leaned more towards following my heart and it has gotten me into a great number of hairy situations but also the same remains true with my head. The greater difference I've noticed is that when I do follow my heart, it seems that I end having an experience that I wouldn't trade for all the world's riches. I have had relationships that did not make a drop of sense rationally but through those relationships I have also made friends that are closer than family could ever be. If I didn't follow my heart in 2005, I never would have met Jade and Ayden (my stepson and daughter) and they are the greatest gift this world has ever given me. If I had never followed my heart in the 90s, I would have stayed in school, never had any type of career in entertainment and that would have been unfortunate.
When I look back on my life I realize that my biggest regrets come from my rational thinking intruding on what my heart desires. When I think about it if I had that time machine and I could go back and right some of my regrets, they would 95% consist of the times I let my rational thinking make decisions that my heart disagreed with.
When I look back and question the morality of my head versus heart decisions, I notice one thing that stands out greatly. I am an individual that has great moral fiber and responsibility. I view mankind as my brothers and sisters (worldwide community) and hold tight to the theory that we all pay rent for our space on this earth through our philanthropy. Because of this ingrain gene that I have never been able to deny with success, I see most of my rational choices have been selfish or less moral than my hearts's truest desire. When I make decisions based on rational perspectives I notice them to be more material driven.
Example 1:
Every Thanksgiving I have to decide between playing football with friends and family, helping in the preparation of dinner or going to a soup kitchen and/or shelter and feeding the homeless. I know that when I do the ladders activity, I end up feeling substantially better that I followed my heart's desire to do something that was bigger than myself.
Example 2:
When I rededicated my life to the church in 2003, I was lost because I was not sure if hop-hip was still the best career choice for me or the world at the time. I was not sure if I was ready to undertake the responsibility of switching from being an urban street rapper into praise and worship gospel artist. I then followed my rational thinking and quit the music industry. My problem with this decision was if I followed my heart I would have continued to make music that lifted the souls and minds of young people around world. I would have made a greater impact if I did not let my mind dictate my direction and believe that I could never make as an artist that could preach in the streets over preaching to the choir.
Today, I now realize that with doctors telling me that my time here on the planet is very limited, I decided that I can not waste time doing things that do not make my heart happy. Life is to precious to make decisions based on long term outcomes that may never manifest. I must take chances and live in the day. After all, it is not how many years in your life you live but how many times you live life in your years.
I have always been the type of man that has leaned more towards following my heart and it has gotten me into a great number of hairy situations but also the same remains true with my head. The greater difference I've noticed is that when I do follow my heart, it seems that I end having an experience that I wouldn't trade for all the world's riches. I have had relationships that did not make a drop of sense rationally but through those relationships I have also made friends that are closer than family could ever be. If I didn't follow my heart in 2005, I never would have met Jade and Ayden (my stepson and daughter) and they are the greatest gift this world has ever given me. If I had never followed my heart in the 90s, I would have stayed in school, never had any type of career in entertainment and that would have been unfortunate.
When I look back on my life I realize that my biggest regrets come from my rational thinking intruding on what my heart desires. When I think about it if I had that time machine and I could go back and right some of my regrets, they would 95% consist of the times I let my rational thinking make decisions that my heart disagreed with.
When I look back and question the morality of my head versus heart decisions, I notice one thing that stands out greatly. I am an individual that has great moral fiber and responsibility. I view mankind as my brothers and sisters (worldwide community) and hold tight to the theory that we all pay rent for our space on this earth through our philanthropy. Because of this ingrain gene that I have never been able to deny with success, I see most of my rational choices have been selfish or less moral than my hearts's truest desire. When I make decisions based on rational perspectives I notice them to be more material driven.
Example 1:
Every Thanksgiving I have to decide between playing football with friends and family, helping in the preparation of dinner or going to a soup kitchen and/or shelter and feeding the homeless. I know that when I do the ladders activity, I end up feeling substantially better that I followed my heart's desire to do something that was bigger than myself.
Example 2:
When I rededicated my life to the church in 2003, I was lost because I was not sure if hop-hip was still the best career choice for me or the world at the time. I was not sure if I was ready to undertake the responsibility of switching from being an urban street rapper into praise and worship gospel artist. I then followed my rational thinking and quit the music industry. My problem with this decision was if I followed my heart I would have continued to make music that lifted the souls and minds of young people around world. I would have made a greater impact if I did not let my mind dictate my direction and believe that I could never make as an artist that could preach in the streets over preaching to the choir.
Today, I now realize that with doctors telling me that my time here on the planet is very limited, I decided that I can not waste time doing things that do not make my heart happy. Life is to precious to make decisions based on long term outcomes that may never manifest. I must take chances and live in the day. After all, it is not how many years in your life you live but how many times you live life in your years.
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