"I am a Person Who is Hurting; Out to Hurt Other People"

Good Day Readers, Followers & my 1st timers. Today's topic is something that I always seem to have a challenge with writing about because it is very close to me. I decided to finally make an attempt to actually post something because I woke-up thinking about my future life direction that I make decisions on at every moment. You see, I choose to Love people that are Hurt and some how it always ends up causing a trail of dysfunctional relationships.

It is my supreme theory that "Hurting People: Hurt People."

Everyday I think to myself how can I help someone in need. I look for opportunities to be a better Christian, better Humanitarian & a better Person (period). A few years ago I found myself surrounded by arrogant and self-serving, egotist. Empty relationships all of a superficial nature that gave me a great chemical imbalance of high joys and low pains. Today I noticed that I am now surrounded by mostly Hurting People looking for someone to love them but having an inability to love themselves. I am in now way saying that everyone who exist in my personal circles are hurting but there is a large majority of those who are. Many of them do not have any clue to why or that they are even suffering in any way. I am also one of these individual who suffers from deep seeded, unforgettable & unforgivable pains and a destructive mentally.

I came of age in a time when hip-hop male sexual grander & violence was beginning to show its irreversible effects on young urban pre-teens and teen. I lived in a household complete with my mother, father, 4 older brothers and 1 older sister (all separated at least 6 years in age from me). This was very formative to the person I became in my adult life.



My household was a sports center combat zone, highly competitive. Football, basketball, volleyball, track, baseball and of course pretty of music was our daily themes. Music, church and football were the corner stones of extracurricular activities in my home. I walked in the foot steps of social/athletic giants.

Now I loved my upbringing, I still do appreciate it tremendously, it created a great, loving man and I would not change it for a million dollars. although, it has served for a dysfunctional and immoral foundation to why I am the person that I am today. When you have such a large exhibition of testosterone in your home environment, one tends to believe that this is the only way to live or the only correct way to conduct yourself in society. I believed that people would only love me if I was the biggest and baddest stud in the circle. I desired men to admire me and women to love me because I am the "Stud All-Star."

Today, I rely on my Intellectual Prowess and Spiritual Foundation to be the shining examples of my Greatness.
I see myself as a better person of course for being able to make a fundamental path change to a more positive thought process like I have completed but I also realize that I have not arrived at my final destination. I also must realize that everything is not a competition and that I do not have to be the best person in the world but be the best person that I can be for me.

The question is now... "Who Am I?"

I am still choosing to be apart of the Hurting People that are continuous Hurting People? Do I have the ability to see whom I may hurt and change that direction of that relationship before I cause another person pain? What is it that I can do to help myself see those destructive patterns before it is too late?



Honestly, I am not sure what all you're going to take away from these twenty or so sentences that I scribbled today but I hope that at least one thing is too look inside of yourself and try to identify your hurt/pain. Then create an avenue that leads you dealing with it and overcoming it. We all deserve better and we should all always try for it.

"I must enjoy the Journey just as much as the Destination"